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The View on Relationships - Essay Example

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The view on relationships is very different today compared to decades ago. I’ve asked how my mom how she met my dad and I learned that my mom met my dad was introduced to her by a common friend. They started dating afterwards. They built a friendship first and went on to establish a romantic relationship…
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The View on Relationships
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Download file to see previous pages And those are party or bar and sexual activity. Let me just clarify what sexual activity is in hook ups, it may be as simple as making out to sexual intercourse. There are several studies that focus on how the hook up culture impacts the sexual behavior of adolescents. Findings vary from hook up culture being prevalent in colleges, like a sort of baptismal ritual of college freshmen as this is more commonly found in freshmen, to the culture being limited in a certain group of people (Wade & Heldman, pp. 128-145; Regnerus & Uecker, ch.4). But what is common in the studies is that the hook up culture is a reversal of script with regards to building a romantic relationship. Before, a relationship starts with dating. Two interested people date each with the hopes of establishing a connection. With this script, the relationship is built on intimacy and emotional attachment. With the hook up culture, it starts with the hook up, usually based on physical or sexual relations. There are no obligations for both parties to continue on with building a relationship although both parties may be interested in dating afterwards. This shows how impersonal the hook up culture is. There is no intimate connection that is created between the involved parties. What happens is they hook up, and they part the next day. They may not see each other, talk to each other, or send email or SMS. It was a simple hook up and there is nothing more to it. But if they meet again, and still interested in each other they may go home together and have sex. It was as easy as that. But this setup actually makes things more complicated. Because of its impersonal nature, it degrades the value of relationships. And of the people involved in the hook up. It is even more dangerous for women than men since social values still place greater value on how a woman should be subordinate or should act in a proper or traditional manner compared to men. If a woman hooks up with several men, even if she is not necessarily sleeping around with them, she may still be perceived as promiscuous, or worst she may be called a bitch or a whore. Men are more immune to these perceptions although there are still men who attract negative criticism when they hook up with several women. They may be perceived as men who cannot be trusted to be in a relationship. Because of these results, the hook up culture does not seem to be very attractive. Who wants to be called a bitch or a whore or a playboy with no concept of intimacy or love? It can destroy one’s self-esteem. And this is exactly what happens to the women and men involved in hook up cultures. Since there is no intimacy involved within the hook up culture, it demoralizes relationship and sex. There are three things that people usually look for in sex, meaningfulness, empowerment and pleasure. But the hook up culture distorts it. According to Wade and Heldman’s study (pp.140 – 144), the men and women they interviewed felt that their hook up sex was meaningless. Since there was no connection whatsoever, the sex was merely an action. It does not symbolize anything aside from the act of having sex. Those who were involved in the hook up culture wanted to have meaning when they have sex with someone. It doesn’t necessarily mean love. What they were looking for was some kind of bond that they can share. A connection wherein they can they are ...Download file to see next pagesRead More
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