The Analysis of the Sexual Dreams and Fantasies - Essay Example

?Sexual Dreams and Fantasies Are a Normal and Healthy Part of Life Though it is not known from the annals of history the precise, first sexual encounter between two humans, or how the encounter came about, it can be undeniable that there was one. If there had not been one, the human race as we know it today would not exist. Chances are, before there was a definite sexual act, there was a fantasy, or a dream involving the sexual act. Humans in and of themselves have been known to be sexual creatures, procreating not only to sustain themselves and the promise of future generations, but also for purposes of enjoyment. Alongside the enjoyment of the actual act of sex is, or can be, the enjoyment that comes from erotic dreams and fantasies. It is my position on erotic dreams and fantasies that they are common in both men and women, and that they serve purposes that maintain a healthy life. While I believe that men and women have different fantasies, and that these fantasies can serve different purposes, through citing current research on all of these points, I believe that I will prove that both erotic dreams and sexual fantasies are common, normal, and healthy behaviors that are needed, if not required, for a person to be and remain healthy sexually and overall, regardless of gender. It is first important to understand that sex, and sexual behaviors, do not encompass a short or even somewhat workable list of topics and behaviors. Controversy surrounds the subject in society, with some behaviors such as anal sex and others automatically being seen as dirty, taboo, or against nature. Given this information, it is not hard to understand why even the very mention of sex can make hairs on the back of the neck stand up in anger, embarrassment, or indignation. While there can be no doubt that sexual acts are private in nature, it should also be understood that sex is a normal and healthy part of life. According to a 2009 survey entitled The National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior (NSSHB), which encompassed 5,865 adults ranging in age from 14 to 94 years old, to say that the differences found in various behaviors related to sex were wide would be an understatement (Kreimer). It found, among other things, that men and women alike participated in activities that involved sexual acts both alone and with partners, and when the question was posed to report their latest sexual act, 41 different combinations were counted (Kreimer). No decrease was apparent in sexual activity among older adults, and in fact when questioned, this grouping was more receptive to new sexual ideas and needs (Kreimer). Orgasms were found to be the widest variant among the participants, with 85% of men reporting an orgasm in their latest sexual encounter, as opposed to only 64% of women (Kreimer). While this data does not speak to erotic dreams and fantasies, it does help to establish that sex is still seen as a common act between those of consenting age and nature. Helping the acceptance of erotic dream and fantasy become more accepted in society is the fact that America no longer lives in the 1950s, when sex was talked about in hush-hush tones and twin beds were shown on television for married couples. In a 2004 Live Poll Survey by ABC News, startling truths were revealed about just how far America had come in viewing the act of and the acts that went with sexual intercourse. The poll showed that 57% of Americans had had sex outdoors or in a public place, and that 29% had had sex on a first date. While 55% of Americans described their sex life as “traditional”, 10% of those people said that they would like their sex life to be more adventurous. Also, the poll showed that 21% of Americans had fantasized about a threesome, while 10% fantasized about having sex at work. An additional 14% reported that they had actually engaged in a threesome, while an additional 12% reported having had sexual activity or intercourse at their place of employment. Most importantly, 51% of Americans talked about their sexual fantasies with their partners. There did prove to be a definite gender gap in doing so in the poll, with 71% of those who talked openly about fantasies with their partners being of a younger generation, compared with 45% of adults in older generations. These, above all, showed that at least some Americans (those brave enough to respond to a public poll, though anonymously), are open to new sexual ideas and feelings, and did not feel the need to be hush-hush or embarrassed about them. Erotic dreams have been proved to be common in both men and women. In a 2007 study authored by Antonio Zadra, PhD, of the Universite de Montreal, data was collected from over 3,500 dream reports willingly submitted by both genders (American Academy of Sleep Medicine). Both genders reported dreaming of not only sexual intercourse and/or sexual contact, but also masturbation, oral sex, kissing, sexual propositions, and fantasies (American Academy of Sleep Medicine). It was noted, however, that women may have not reported their feelings or their dreams accurately, both due to the stigma associated with erotic dreams in society as well as embarrassment (American Academy of Sleep Medicine). Both men and women also reported experiencing an orgasm themselves in about 4% of their erotic dreams, though women reported an additional 4% of dreams involving orgasm by another character within the dream, while men reported that characters in their erotic dreams, other than themselves, generally did not reach orgasm (American Academy of Sleep Medicine). Also cited in the study were the varying themes and number of partners in erotic dreams between men and women. Men reported multiple partners twice as much as women did, while women reported twice the occurrence of public figures in their erotic dreams (American Academy of Sleep Medicine). It is also interesting to note that current and past partners figured prominently into about 20% of the erotic dreams of women, compared to only 14% of men (American Academy of Sleep Medicine). This research speaks for itself. Erotic dreams are common and healthy in both men and women, and can include a wide variety of circumstances and partners. These factors breach the common and, sometimes, taboo barriers of society, to free the mind and allow human beings to have private sexual encounters outside of what may or may not ever actually happen in their lives. This research was further supported by another research study done by doctors at the Sleep Research Centre, located at Sacre-Coeur Hospital of Montreal. In three separate groups of undergraduate students, each given questionnaires about their behaviors during sleep and dreaming, 78.3% reported having a sexually-based or erotic dream sometime in the last year (Nielsen, Svob, and Kuiken 1626). Though males reported experiencing more sexual arousal than females, the females did not lack for it (Nielsen, Svob, and Kuiken 1630). Women reported sexual arousal only about 40% of the time, while males reported experiencing the same about 75% of the time (Nielsen, Svob, and Kuiken 1632). If nothing else, these findings confirm previous studies, which show that erotic dreams and fantasies while sleeping are something that happens to everyone. Dreams are dreams, even when they cause sexual arousal, and should not be thought of as anything more than healthy aspects of a dream state. In addition to having sexually-based or erotic episodes while asleep, fantasies while awake can encompass an important part of sexual health and normalcy. In general, a sexual fantasy, defined as “an erotic yearning or constellation of mental images that evoke sexual arousal”, has been shown to have a positive correlation between the frequency of fantasy and the frequency of orgasm (Carlstedt, Bood, and Norlander 792). In 1995, the American Psychiatric Association actually declared it “pathological” not to have sexual fantasies (Carlstedt, Bood, and Norlander 792). In fact, sexual fantasies can also present a better “picture” of sexuality than actual sexual activities, due to the fact that boundaries in stigma in society exist and can hamper an individual in what they truly desire (Carlstedt, Bood, and Norlander 792). This, to me, makes the point that sexual fantasies are not only common, but healthy and necessary in order to maintain healthy sexual activity. While there can be no doubt that not everyone will respond equally to the same motivations, and not everyone has the same fantasies, this does not mean that they are not natural, healthy, and necessary. Research has also shown that sexual fantasies play an important part in sexual desire. In a 2007 research study, it was found that both men and women see fantasy as an important component of sexual activity, with men responding more positively towards sexual stimuli and thoughts, as well as accepting them more easily. If was found that the male population has an attitude that, together with sexual fantasies, heightens sexual drive, with men responding positively in favor of sexual thoughts (University of Granada). Women are not unaffected by fantasy, with their sexual desire growing in tandem with the number of sexual thoughts and fantasies that they experience (University of Granada). Though researchers cautioned that not everyone enjoys the same type of fantasy, and that partners and solo fantasies alike can be responsible for sexual inhibitions, fantasies nevertheless remain an important component of sexual drive and desire (University of Granada). It was also determined through this same study that sexual fantasies can actually be an important component in disabusing people of their sexual anxieties, as fantasies were frequently used as a therapeutic tool to help in those cases (University of Granada). It is also important to note, however, that sexual fantasy often does not ensure sexual satisfaction. Research has been conducted to determine that sexual fantasy and sexual satisfaction are not mutually dependent on another. In a web-based survey of 3,687 women who answered previously determined questions, only 12% reported having sexual fantasies often, while half reported having fantasies sometimes and a third reporting never having sexual fantasies (Carvalheira, Brotto, and Leal 1460). It was established that while women may use fantasy as a means of enhancing or boosting sexual arousal, it is not exclusively necessary for women to have a sexual fantasy in order to achieve sexual satisfaction (Carvalheira, Brotto, and Leal 1460). Though sexual fantasies, as stated previously, should be thought of as a healthy part of any relationship, it should not be the basis of any sexual relationship. To speak plainly on the subject, if someone finds that they are only able to achieve satisfaction during the actual act of sexual intercourse by having a fantasy, it may be time to seek medical attention on the matter. Both men and women have sexual fantasies, but the content and circumstances in each have been shown to vary widely. Some of the facts even correspond to erotic dream research when compared, raising the interesting question as to whether or not dreams can sometimes parallel real life, especially in the case of sexual desire and fantasy. While awake, men have been shown to have more fantasies than women in general (Carlstedt, Bood, and Norlander 792). Again, however, it must be wondered whether or not women are truly not having fantasies, or just not reporting them. Men also reported having fantasies that involved sex with anonymous strangers, one-night stands, or sex with multiple partners (Carlstedt, Bood, and Norlander 792). Women, on the other hand, reported having sexual fantasies that involved public figures or famous people, or with other women (Carlstedt, Bood, and Norlander 792). Also, men fantasize about being more of an active partner, while to women, being submissive is the favorite fantasy (Carlstedt, Bood, and Norlander 792). All of the data collected and correlated by studies up until that point, in 2008, suggests that while both men and women prefer varied scenarios, what they are fantasizing about in general varies between them. To a woman, a fantasy of being a buxom blond laid down and ravished upon a silk-sheeted bed may be a favorite daydreaming pastime, while a man engages in thoughts of several beauties coming upon him at the same time, possibly even making plans to divide him sexually among them. It is also interesting to note that rape and force play a key factor in some sexual fantasies, especially to women. Research conducted in 2008 found that between 31% and 57% of women had fantasies in which they were forced into sex against their will or by coercion, and of those women, 9% to 17% said that it was in fact a favorite or frequent fantasy to have (Critelli and Bivona 57). It was also emphasized that, since rape fantasies are generally thought to be perceived as socially unacceptable or perverted, the figures used were thought to be less than the actual percentages (Critelli and Bivona 66). Though various theories have been bandied about as to the cause of why women would prefer or even engage in this type of fantasy, as in real life the actual act would be traumatic, researchers found that there was no one conclusive theory to explain their rationale (Critelli and Bivona 62). Several of the theories examined included the innate masochistic tendencies of women, avoidance of sexual blame and sexual “labels” (such as slut, tramp, etc.) by society, and the prevalence of women to feel increased desirability during a rape fantasy, for example, they feel that they are so desirable that a man has to have intercourse with them, whether they wish it or not (Critelli and Bivona 65). Studies such as the one above suggest that sexual fantasies, especially in women, can be used to experiment with means that would be dangerous or otherwise traumatic in real life, thereby providing another important function of fantasies in general. It would not be an exaggeration to say that most if not all research that has been cited supports the original position. Erotic dreams and fantasies are common in both men and women, for normal and healthy reasoning. Fantasies, though of different types between the genders, still occur in both. Though men fantasize about some things more than women, and women have different needs and preferences regarding their fantasies, the fact still remains that fantasies will occur, regardless of gender and stereotypes that have occurred in society. Works Cited ABC News. “The ABC News Primetime Live Poll: The American Sex Survey – A Peek Beneath the Sheets.” ABC News. ABC News, 21 October 2004. Web. 20 Feb 2012. American Academy of Sleep Medicine. “Sexual Activity Reported In Dreams of Men And Women.” Science Daily, 14 Jun. 2007. Web. 20 Feb. 2012. Carlstedt, Mathias, Sven A. Bood, and Torsten Norlander. “The Affective Personality and Its Relation to Sexual Fantasies in Regard to the Wilson Sex Fantasy Questionnaire.” Psychology. 2.8 (2011): 792-796. Web. 20 Feb. 2012. Carvalheira, Ana, Lori A. Brotto, and Isabel Leal. “Women's Motivations for Sex: Exploring the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, Fourth Edition, Text Revision Criteria for Hypoactive Sexual Desire and Female Sexual Arousal Disorders.” Journal of Sexual Medicine. 7. (2010): 1454-1463. Web. 22 Feb. 2012. Critelli, Joseph, and Jenny M. Bivona. “Women’s Erotic Rape Fantasies: An Evaluation of Theory and Research.” Journal of Sex Research. 45.1 (2008): 57-70. Web. 21 Feb. 2012. Kreimer, Susan. “Sexual Behavior Spans a Broad Spectrum, New Survey Says.” Journal of Sexual Medicine. 7.supp. 5 (2010): n. page. Web. 21 Feb. 2012. Nielsen, Tore, Connie Svob, and Don Kuiken. “Dream-Enacting Behaviors in a Normal Population.” Sleep. 32.12 (2009): 1629-1636. Web. 20 Feb. 2012. University of Granada. “Study Confirms Importance Of Sexual Fantasies In Experience Of Sexual Desire.” Science Daily, 27 Jun. 2007. Web. 20 Feb. 2012. Links to the actual websites that were used to make this paper: ABC News Survey - http://abcnews.go.com/images/Politics/959a1AmericanSexSurvey.pdf Science Daily Article #1 - http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/06/070614085118.htm Psychology Article - http://www.scirp.org/Journal/Home.aspx?IssueID=1173 (Link is #5 from top) Journal of Sexual Medicine #1 - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2695750/ Journal of Sex Research - http://www.clinica.divisionescolpsic.org/articulos-docs/Womens_Erotic_Rape.pdf Journal of Sexual Medicine #2 – http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/729847 Sleep Journal Article - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2786047/ Science Daily Article #2: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/06/070627223851.htm Read More