Develop an awareness of self in relation to others - Coursework Example

The defense mechanisms help people in maintaining their self-esteem and self-respect in face of embarrassing, threatening or defeating situations. Hence, defense mechanisms are mental tools used by people from feeling unworthy and inferior. Using defense mechanism once or twice is fine. However, when people start using defense mechanism often, then it harms their reputation and also keeps them from seeing the ‘real’ picture. ‘Rationalization’ and ‘projection’ are among the most commonly used defense mechanisms by people.

People use rationalization when the truth about a situation is painful to accept. In such situations, people use rationalization as a defense mechanism and give socially acceptable and reasonable explanation for their behaviour. By doing so, people avoid accepting their own fears, anxieties and negative aspects of personality. After using rationalization repeatedly, it becomes a part of their unconscious behaviour pattern and they lose the ability to reflect on the truth or to improve their behaviour.

Hence, people around them lose trust and faith in them and consider them as people ‘who always give excuses’ and hence, not dependable. In this way rationalization affects the trust and bonding in personal and professional relationships. ‘Projection’ is another defense mechanism where a person blames another person or situation for his own inadequacies, unfavorable characters and failure. When projection becomes a habit, then the person using it loses the sense of reality and examines people and situations in distorted way.

People around him start to realize that this person is never going to improve as he never accepts his fault and weaknesses. They consider him as irresponsible and immature. Hence, they start keeping a distance from him and do not allow him to form close relationship with them. In this way, a person who uses projection as a defense mechanism fails to make and maintain relationships. His attitude of blaming others repels people from him. Factors Inhibiting Congruent Relating Congruence in relationship is possible when the counsellor and the client are open, authentic and honest with each other in the process of counselling.

However, for the formation of a congruent relationship with clients, the counsellor needs to have a ‘whole’ and ‘integrated’ personality. Otherwise, the counsellor is unable to help the client to achieve the ‘integration’ in his personality. Hence, if the counsellor lacks growth and ‘integration’ in his own personality, then it inhibits the formation of congruence between the counsellor and the client while counselling. Second factor that inhibits the congruent relating with clients is the lack of ‘self -awareness’ in the counsellor.

When a counsellor is not consciously aware of the weak areas in his personality, then he gets uncomfortable and irritated while attending to those weaknesses in his clients. Hence, being aware of the weaknesses in his own personality is very important for the counsellor. Otherwise, it inhibits congruent relating with the client by creating discomfort and friction in interactions while counselling.