The Superiority of the British Parenting Style - Literature review Example

The Superiority of the British Parenting Style

Although parenting styles vary according to the times and according to the general needs of a parent and a child, still there is much difference that still exists based on the type of culture that the parent adopts. Although the American, Latino and Chinese parenting styles have their own strengths, the British parenting style stands out as having only one known negative effect but almost all positive aspects.

British Parenting Style

British parenting basically emphasize communication. This type of open communication usually involves talking things out with the children if there are problems in the family. Moreover, British parents are “more likely to rationalize with their children and incorporate their children into problem solving challenges” (Johnston, 2016). This means that parents engage their children in decision-making and problem-solving activities within the family.

Moreover, British parents are more or less systematic with everything. British parents also tend to “lay out, step-by-step, what went wrong and why the behavior shouldn’t be repeated” (Johnston, 2016). This does not mean that British parents are generally overly meticulous. What this means is that is that British parents see to it that they are being obeyed and their rules are followed.

Furthermore, British parenting usually emphasize manners. In fact, British parents see to it that their children show a “mild-mannered demeanor, [behave] polite and [become] academically proficient” (Johnston, 2016). Thus, the Victorian attitude of British parents still abounds in the way they discipline their children.

British parents also make it a point to emphasize that the doctor has the final say when it comes to any form of medical diagnosis. Thus, they do not show their children that they are argumentative. In fact, “American parents [usually] challenge everything they’re told in the pediatrician’s office” simply because they have read so much about this and that (Margolis, 2013).

Moreover, British parents emphasize moderation when it comes to their children. Middle-class British parents, especially, would usually ban sugar from their kids’ diets as well as ban Coke. According to the author, “Moderation can be a difficult word in American child-rearing” (Margolis, 2013). Moderation is instilling in one’s children the idea that excess and lack are two common evils that should be avoided.

British parents usually do not measure good parenthood with simple things like swearing. Americans hate to hear their children curse but in Britain, when the child says “bloody” the “parents swell with pride because she used it correctly” (Margolis, 2013). However, this may have its own drawbacks in the form of a rude kid. Perhaps, controlling the speech of children is still an essential part of general parenthood.

British parents argue that it is fine to leave their kids alone sometimes. British parents “assume [their] kids will still get into university even though they once watched Power Rangers” (Margolis, 2013). American parents, however, “suspect [their kids] are doing something wrong, and it could have devastating consequences” (Margolis, 2013). No one can really say that the fact that the British are not as paranoid as American parents will make the British naturally better parents than Americans. Constantly watching over one’s children may be of a great advantage too. Perhaps, it depends more on the level of safety of the environment.

British parents focus more on correcting wrong behavior and encouraging their children to become successful (Jenner, 2013). This is indeed very empowering. Encouraging one’s children to correct their behavior marks the disciplined parent. One the other hand, encouraging one’s children toward success is just as amazing and as helpful. Except for the statement about allowing children to swear, the British parenting style is very good compared to other parenting styles.

American Parenting Style

American parents are generally overprotective of their children compared to their European counterparts. American parents normally do not allow children to engage in many dangerous sports as well as simple sports. They usually cannot recognize that “kids cannot breathe, grow and thrive in a protective, layered world” (Kennedy-Kline, 2014). This overprotection may have come from the many different terrorist threats and attacks that America has experienced in the past as a country. However, the key is balance.

American parents, especially 20% of them, usually emphasize religious morality to their children. These parents believe that God and a strong sense of faith should be the key to a successful life and career of their children (Krueger, 2015). This is indeed one of the greatest things in the world. Just following the tenets of one’s religion may actually be enough to be able to function as a good family.

American parents also emphasize optimism and honesty, particularly honesty when it comes to their government (Krueger, 2015). The teaching of public accountability is crucial to the success of the family as a group of people that cooperate with each other.

American parents can also remain emotionally detached from their children especially when it comes to communication. They usually have a happy marriage although they spend less time to talk to their children (Krueger, 2015). Although this may foster dependence, communication gap may actually cause its own share of problems in the end.

Many American parents are also American dreamers, or those who share their emotions with their kids, usually tend to be optimistic and encouraging of their children to pursue better lives (Krueger, 2015). This is very similar to a good British parenting practice.

The rest of these acts by American parents are actually mistakes that they unconsciously commit out of habit. First of all, American parents usually make their children overscheduled but they do not monitor their kids especially on how they are doing things (Jenner, 2013).

American parents also set the bar too low. This means that they are using the “everyone gets a trophy syndrome,” where they congratulate their children with anything even if it is not a real accomplishment (Jenner, 2013). This is like praising their children just for joining the football game and not necessarily from winning the game.

American parents are afraid to say “no” to their children. Thus, American parents usually end up doing “far more negotiating, pleading and tolerating” than their Asian and European counterparts (Jenner, 2013). This is the problem which is really typical of American parents – they have a hard time making their children do what they say. Related to this is actually the idea that Americans also have a hard time “[calling] for help with getting kids to bed” (Jenner, 2013). This means that American parents cannot make their children follow them.

The reason for the above statement could be the leniency of the parents. American parents are famous for being “shockingly lax” when it comes to teaching their children good manners (Jenner, 2013). This laxity will sooner or later have its own drawbacks in the form of a spoiled community of rude kids.

Latino Parenting Style

Brazilian parents generally take good care of their children but their families and households are filled with “unfavorable economic conditions, violence, parental mental health problems” (Benetti et al., 2014). In many cases, there are also problems like “harsh parental practices, relationship problems, low self-esteem, low life satisfaction” as well as “school difficulties” (Benetti et al., 2014).

When it comes to Mexican parents, they also generally take good care of their children but there is usually cases of dysfunction and abuse in the families, which often lead to problems involving “mood, anxiety, substance abuse and externalizing” (Benetti et al., 2014). Thus, although Latino parents could be very good when it comes to childrearing, there is always the problem of violence, economic constraints and other forms of violence that always become the problem of the United States.

Latino parents, particularly Mexican parents, actually comprise the largest minority group of parents in the United States. Latino parents see to it that boys are treated differently from girls, thus socializing boys and girls separately according to different and specific cultural gender roles (Varela et al., 2004). Thus, while the girls develop into damsels in distress and should be helped, the boys are compelled to become models of machismo.

Chinese and South Korean Parenting Style

Chinese parents always emphasize respect for elders. In fact, according to a research in China and South Korea, the Chinese believe that grandparents can also help in raising children, thus they deserve to be respected (Johnston, 2016).

Chinese parents are also almost always involved in the lives, careers and even the private affairs of their children. Nonetheless, according to a social expert, Chinese parents “believe good parenting is being incredibly involved and pushing your child absolutely as far as they can go” (Johnston, 2016). Although many East Asians consider this as a strength, many would still say that it is only negative in that when some children are pushed beyond their capabilities, they respond negatively. Moreover, when parents are too involved in their children’s private affairs, it might rob their children of self-esteem.

Furthermore, Chinese parents engage with their children in a formal relationship. There is therefore a “less casual” relationship between parent and child. In fact, in South Korea, “during the family dinners, the children rarely spoke directly to the father” unless perhaps they are called to speak or are asked (Johnston, 2016). However, this could also turn out to be a weakness if the formal relationship is too formal since some degree of intimacy must be necessary for a smooth flow of communication.

Chinese parents usually employ authoritative parenting. It is usually characterized by “high parental standards, appropriate autonomy granting, and emotional support” (Lim and Lim, 2003). The emotional support usually consists of “verbal give and take, reason, warmth and flexibility” (Lim and Lim, 2003). Although this is a positive thing, an authoritarian style of parenting could also become something negative if it is based on the idea of compulsion.

Chinese parents also put a lot of emphasis and high expectations on education and life success (Lim and Lim, 2003). This one is also good but may fail if it is done excessively by the parents.

Among Chinese families, parental care usually consists of “firm control and governance of the child” (Lim and Lim, 2003). This is usually because the Chinese parent has a fear of appearing uncaring or negligent in their role. Moreover, parents often show great sacrifices for their children’s success in education as well as for getting them into a good university, a good job and a good income in the future (Lim and Lim, 2003).

In fact, East Asian parents – Chinese, Japanese, Korean or Taiwanese – actually ensure that their children should receive “intensive educational socialization” during the early years of schooling of the child (Chao, 2000).

Chinese parents also emphasize the virtue of filial piety more than goals for self-development (Chao, 2000). This one too may have its own drawbacks because an overemphasis on filial piety may lead to tolerance of evil acts of family members, while a lack of emphasis for self-development may lead to low self-esteem.