Fatherhood as Long a Process - Assignment Example

Fatherhood: How actively are Fathers Participating in the Births of their Children these Days? Fatherhood is never an event but a process full of myriad of events that see a man finally graduate to becoming a father. Men usually display various feelings with respect to the fact that they are fathers or they are soon becoming fathers. In order to unravel and compare these feelings, I decided to find two fathers, one who is soon becoming a father (first-time expectant) and one who is already a father of a 2 year old child, and interviewed them. The interview was recorded, and a comparison was then made like illustrated here below. Expectant Father: This was a 28-year-old young man who was just expecting his baby for the first time. The interview took place in the hospital compound where he had gone to take his wife to deliver. What are your feelings about becoming a father? When this first-time expectant father was asked about his feelings about becoming a father, he reiterated how he felt so happy that he was soon being called a father. He was graduating from being just a "youth" to a father. This is what he said, "Im filled with lots of happiness beyond measure for this moment that Im now expecting a child. I only hope that it will be born alive, healthy and sound. I cannot wait to see and even touch my baby when it is born. Ive waited for this day for so long. I think being a father is a good feeling to everyone. It makes one feel like a man since youre able to bring forth another human into the world. On the other hand, it also seems challenging since Im only used to staying with my wife and providing for only the two of us, but now, we have to invite a third person into our house. This comes with added responsibility since this extra person is an extra mouth to feed, an extra body to clothe and provide good education too." How have you been involved in your wifes pregnancy? The expectant father reports that he has been very supportive of his wifes pregnancy, especially during the last few months when she could not attend to many of the chores. He has been providing a helping hand and handling the wife with a lot of care to ensure that their expected baby is taken care of well and comes out healthy and sound. Here is his response, "First I have to acknowledge that women are very wonderful people, and they play a greater role in bringing forth the baby since they are the ones who get pregnant. As the husband, I had to show my utmost respect to my wife during her pregnancy by showing her love and assisting her with any help that she may need. I have for this reason taken charge of the household chores, especially during the last few months to see that my pregnant wife doesnt tire up with such during this period that she was now becoming weaker. I have ensured that I take her for a walk as frequent as possible, mostly in the evenings and during the weekends to help her exercise. I have also been very concerned about her health and take her to the clinic every time she complains of any uneasiness. I sometimes wake up even in the middle of the night to check on her and drive her to the hospital just to ensure everything is alright with her and our expected baby." What part will you play in your childs birth? What part would you like to play? In my childs birth, I will play the part of being a good father who can provide everything required for a new born baby. The part I would like to play is to help my wife heal as fast as possible, and my baby grows up healthy and strong. I, for this reason, would like to support them in all that will make them achieve these desires. What do you think being a "good father" means? Being a good father, to me, means that I have to provide for my family by giving them my love and care as a father first of all. A good father also needs to offer protection to his family and guard them against any evil thing. I must also meet my family needs materially and financially to be able to be a good father. By providing basic needs for them and seeing them live a good life afterwards, should be my responsibility as a good father. How will have a child change your life? Having a child will change my life in most perspectives. First, I will become more responsible for my time management. I will have to arrive back home from work earlier than before to be with my family and help them where necessary. I will also become a better personal finance manager since needs and responsibilities will increase, so I will also adjust my financial planning to meet such needs and responsibilities. Father: This is a father of a two-year-old boy. I interviewed him at his home in a separate room where he was alone. What part did you play in the birth(s) of your child (children) what were your feelings about this experience? In my childs birth, I was there to provide my wife and baby with the support that they needed financially, materially and even socially through giving them love and care. They never lacked anything. I was very happy that I was finally a man who was discharging his responsibilities to his wife and baby. What are the biggest challenges you face as a father? As a father, sometimes I have to overlook some of my personal financial goals and save money just to meet my familys needs. I also have to behave responsibly lie a responsible father everywhere else I go. This makes me change from what Im used to being to a new me. I have to show my child the best example of a good father. For this reason, my deeds in public must change to reflect that. What do you think a good father is? A good father, to me, is one who shows good example to his child and taking care of the family well without leaving them to lack anything. A good father must, for this reason, be responsible, loving and caring. He must ensure that he takes part in raising his child and be around to care for them and see them growing up every day. How has having a child changed your life? By having a child, my life has changed a lot since I no longer stay out late, and I also behave more responsibly. Im able to squeeze my budget and not overspend as I used to do earlier. As a father, I take care of my child, and these are not things I even thought I could do. What advice would you give a new father? To a new father, I can only urge you to become more responsible with your spending and your family. If you spend excessively without saving for your family, your family will lack, and they will blame you for, not being able to provide for them. You also need to ensure that you stay together with your child and wife or visit them frequently. Your presence means a lot to your child. There were more similarities than there were differences between these two pairs of men. Both of these men associate responsibility, love and care to a good father. They also indicate that theres a sense of increased responsibility that comes with the fact that one becomes a father. In both cases, becoming a father must interfere with ones normal way of financial and time management. The only difference is that in the first instance, the expectant father was happy and ready to attend to his wife and expected baby. The second case, however, shows a father who is just forced to do so because of circumstances, but was not ready anyway. Work Cited Traci, Gray. Focus on the Family: Fatherhood. 12 November 2013. Web. 7 February 2015. . Read More