Parenting goals that must be generated - Essay Example

Functional and Dysfunctional Families Essay answers Parenting goals that must be generated I. Teach your kids howto think Concept allowance; Are you just going to give it or do they have to earn it? Parents need to go to school conferences. Kids need to watch their parents as they support their teacher. It is very important that this child watch what you do as a parent. They will establish and see the extent to which the school system is important. You as a parent have to support it and come over it. This must be done naturally; it should become part of your kids’ life. It is a simple, real deal such as telling the kids to do their homework, and thereafter, take two hours to play video games. As you do this, you will make a connection between the school and your kid’s education. II. Teach your child to feel Human Beings; it is important to deal with their feelings through stress management, which starts at 15 years of age. In the school environment; attend all child activities show you care If you do not want to deal with feeling, then you cannot teach your kids. God gave us feelings as a gift. III. Teach your child to be responsible When the child is, about 10 years old, he or she should carry out basic house roles such as; Let the mother be where he or she is Organize the bed after waking up Not answering the door when he or she is alone in the house Not using the kitchen Not screaming, and other unwritten roles IV. Teach your child to like themselves and get along with other This is through loving themselves. 2. Responsibility connected to freedom If your kids say that, they are going to the library, as a parent it is important to go and check out if it is indeed true. Moreover, as a parent, it is crucial to ask your kids why they are late, and give them responsibility for freedom. There is no freedom without responsibility. We have to give them some room to fail and commit some mistakes. We also have to prepare them through giving them all the skills they would require when dealing with sex, life and financial management. When your kid’s life is healthy, then they will take care of you. We have to know how the child is handling his or her maturity. We have to use the “deal technique”, for instance, “let’s make a deal….if you do not keep the deal…” For example, if my kids want freedom, then I need more responsibility. In many cases, there should be a balanced side, at age 18 they can legally make a decision. In addition, let your children grow up do not mislead them. Give them responsibility for a real life. How much you give them, have let them to either fail or succeed. Some kids experience under maturity because of dilemma in parenting. In essence, parents have parenting skills for one to ten year olds, but they do not have parenting skills for eleven years and above. 3. Parenting Styles Each of your parents had parenting style. A lot of parenting styles are basic that is they seem to come from personal skills, and thus, they are passive. If my dad were aggressive, then I would develop same behavior as his. However, you are you cannot stick in a pattern you can learn and grow. In any case, if you are passive, you can bond more. Every parent should deal with roles. You have to create (save room) for our children through shaping then to distinguish between a good thing and a bad thing. When I do a right thing, I will take the positive side (master shaper), when I do a bad thing I will take the negative side. The child will know what drives you out, and this is child shaping. You have to start (shaping kids) it is very powerful. Shaping kids should be through infecting them with positive things. We should not fail as parents. Between a chaotic and rigid parenting style, a parent should be flexible, between best friends to a child and being alone, a parent should be connected, between being permissive and authoritarian, a parent should be democratic and between being passive and aggressive, a parent should be assertive. It is best for a parent to focus on the middle, instead of leaning on the parenting style diagram’s right or left side. The parenting style that is flexible, connected, assertive and democratic has highest positive results, brings about, win/win resolution, highest satisfaction, least angry conflict and least stress. 4. Circumplex Profile A circumplex model, on the left vertical side (adaptability) has the following patterns; chaotic, flexible, structured and rigid while on the top, horizontal side (cohesion), it has the following patterns; disengaged, separated, connected and enmeshed. In an enmeshed chaotic family, a child would struggle with closeness while in an enmeshed rigid family; a child would struggle with his or her self-esteem. A healthy functional family is one that has the characteristics of being; separated and flexible, connected and flexible, separated and structured and connected and structured. However, a dysfunctional family is one that is disengaged and chaotic, enmeshed and chaotic, disengaged and rigid, and enmeshed and rigid. In addition, a disengaged and rigid family can also be referred to as a military family, which is extremely dysfunctional. Healthy family For an individual to have a healthy family, it does not matter how the individual’s background was or what happened to him or her in the past. Essentially, the healthier you are, the healthier the marriage, the healthier the parenting skills, and ultimately, the healthier your child will be. 5. Application paper; applying this workshop in my life For starters, I am privileged to come from a functional family, and I am a mother of four children. This gives me hope and assures me that I have an opportunity of ensuring that my children live and grow up in a functional family. However, as a parent I have to ensure that I strictly adhere to some specified parenting goals such as; teaching my children how to think, teaching them how to feel, teaching them how to be responsible and lastly, teaching them how to like themselves and get along with each other. The parents who are not knowledgeable on how to achieve the above will surely make their families dysfunctional. It is crucial for me as a mother of four children, to monitor what my children are doing, where they are and what they perceive. I will achieve this by attending my school meeting and conferences and guiding while they are doing their homework at home. When it comes to the issue of freedom and responsibility, I understand that, at times, I should let my children make mistakes, as it is part of learning. Furthermore, when they make mistakes, they learn from their mistakes, and at the same time, they become responsible. Ultimately, I can apply this workshop, especially the information that pertains to parenting styles to choose the best parenting style, which will make my family functional in terms of having the highest positive results, brings about, win/win resolution, highest satisfaction, least angry conflict and least stress. Works Cited Seaberry, Judy. Is Your Family Dys Functional? Nerw York: Judy Seaberry, 2006. Print. Read More