What is the real happiness in a family - Essay Example

?What is the real happiness in a family? To question what really constitutes to making individuals in a family happy collectively is a significantly difficult one. Family dynamics are not only highly complicated but happiness as a concept is highly abstract and varies from family to family and culture to culture; there exist various literature pieces, the work of Bausch and Can Xue for example, that give us a in-depth analysis of the journey undertaken by families in their quest for happiness and how one might strive to describe what happiness really is astutely but by the end of the day it is not as simple as one would imagine. Richard Bausch’s story, “Aren’t you happy for me?” in all its simplicity gives the reader an insight into a much more complex scenario depicted by observing a incident in the life of a ordinary family. In this story the more that is revealed, the more complex the situation that the father is immersed in becomes until ultimately he realizes the gravity of a situation he had underestimated; the distance that had become undeniable in his marriage and what a difficult path his daughter had taken. A key element of the story that is used by the author is that of revelation. It is used with gravity and artfully timed in the way it deepens not only the story but the characters as well. It further thickens the plot and depicts to the reader the importance of revelation and how the transformation the characters undergo with it as they are portrayed in light of their exquisite humanness. It is this very quality which makes them heroic and at the same time flawed. The story revolves around a phone call between a father and daughter as the predicament that the daughter is in slowly unwinds as the father discovers she is pregnant and about to marry a 63 year old man who was also her professor. As he internalizes and processes the situation his daughter reveals which in all its complicated nature seems to be a reason for joy for her, greatly disturbs the father as he categorizes the predicament as severely grave; a cherry on top of the problems his life already was in. "Outside the window, his wife, with no notion of what she was about to be hit with, looked through the patterns of shade in the blinds and, seeing him, waved. It was friendly, and even so, all their difficulty was in it." (p.87) Bausch’s style is highly effective in the way that he builds on to the sense of dismay and connects to the reader, as his daughter relays to him the string of bad news. "Honey, this is a joke, right? You're playing a joke on me." (p.89.) Furthermore the reader can clearly emphasize for Ballinger as the news is spun on him with the naive child like expectation to not react to news that was clearly startling for any parent. "You're going to react, then. I wish you could just promise me you wouldn't." (p.88). Bausch’s focus on the situation at hand and not the use of external factors to highlight the internal emotional and mental state of the characters is one of the major strengths of his narration. He brings forth a very relatable scenario that portrays the internal battle between the sexes, generations and family dynamics. The volatile reaction of the father and his uncontrollable bursts of anger lead us to imagine if it was this particular trait of his that had caused rifts in his until now happy and prosperous marriage. "That's not the point. The point is that you, sir, are not much more than a goddam statutory rapist. That's the point." (p.90). It also shows how adept the author is in casting inadequate male characters; a husband whose marriage if failing and a 63 year old professor who has impregnated and is now marrying his much younger student. There are two main focuses of Bausch’s story; one that revolves around a marriage and family starting and the other on a marriage ending. "The truth was that he had news of his own to tell. Almost a week ago he and Mary had agreed on a separation. Some time for both of them to sort things out." (p. 86) One cannot help but wonder if the fury ignited in the father had something to do with a man much older than himself being able to find happiness and comfort and receiving a chance at both seemed unfair to Ballinger, especially at a point in his life when his own marriage was ending and his life seemed to be at a unfamiliar bend. His anger over the unfamiliarity and the complexity of the life that his daughter has chosen is perhaps a projection of the insecurity he himself feels as he looks forward to a life that seems desolate, lonely and unfamiliar. "Everything they had been through during the course of deciding about each other seemed concentrated now." (p. 94) Redemption seems to be a much avoided theme in the story. There comes a point where Ballinger, after he has had a while to process the situation sits in harmony with his wife on the bed, could have chosen to reconcile. "Of course there are things to work on. Every marriage—"His voice had caught. He took a breath. "In every marriage there are things to work on." (p. 94) However through clear depiction of body language and the awkwardness that the couple feels in each others presence not to mention the predicament their daughter was in, which should have brought the parents together as they strive for balance or perhaps a reconciliation seems to be a feeble possibility. “Finally she stood. "Well," she sighed, going away. "Work to do." (p. 95) However Bausch has a much bitter picture in mind as he makes it obvious that happy endings are not possible for this couple and it is probably not the ending Melanie will get either. The depiction of divorce in the forthcoming future falls as a heavy conclusion on the reader. "Who knows," Ballinger's wife said. "Maybe they'll be happy for a time." He'd heard the note of sorrow in her voice, and thought he knew what she was thinking; then he was certain that he knew.” (p.95) Can Xue’s work in ‘The Child who raised poisonous snakes’ adopts a vastly different approach when it comes to describing the life of a family from a high context culture and portrays their difficulties in the way the parents deal with their unique and mysterious child’s obsession with snakes. The tone used by the author when compared to the work of Bausch is vastly different with the narrative being somewhat unsettling as it focuses on the unhappiness of a family that is caused by the mystifying behavior of a young boy. “When he was not talking, his face was a dead blank. But of course this is somewhat different from being a corpse.” Can Xue through her work tells us the story of a faceless boy, intense emotional pressure and disturbed mental states all adding up to the underlying theme in her narrative that proposes the notion that the world is an illusion of mind. The languid ‘mimosa child’ in the narration despite being watched constantly is capable of doing strange things without even the need to go outdoors. He has the amazing capacity to observe and be bitten by, to bite and to catch the ‘flowery snakes of his imagination’. When spending time with the fisherman's son, Sha-yuan bites his finger and when asked why he did this, he tells the narrator, "If he had not bitten it, it would have bitten him" (Xue 644-645).It is almost like thought’s root from ones mind, or a dream in search of a dreamer, that the child is able to gather up the lonesome snakes of his solitude. It also highlights the individuality and uniqueness of the child and the parents loss of understanding of his needs. The failure of the parents to act in their child’s interest and fulfill their roles haunts the parents. It is also interesting how this odd child, the collector of snakes, also is responsible for the destruction and in a intensely inventive build up of the plot. The parents – who somehow manage to make their child the martyred tool of their own fear and hence become with the child’s aid the literal slaughterers of their son’s dreams, the killers of the flowery snakes. And yet in all his forcefulness and strength of mind the child keeps them deeply hidden and continues to nurture them like a mother nurtures her child in her belly. The use of intense symbolism that is dark and yet profound is hard to miss in Can Xue’s narration. The snakes being universal symbols of calmness, cleverness and sneakiness seem to be a mere depiction of the personality of the child that the parents were trying so hard to control and keep under surveillance instead of understanding and nurturing. “I am not always with you. Don't be fooled by superficial appearances" (Xue 645). Their desperate quest for happiness is paved by terror and such forceful effort that it leads to a depreciation of their mental, physical and emotional health. “The parents stopped watching Sha-yuan's behavior...they were waiting for something...'Waiting for their deaths,' Sha-yuan said" (Xue 648). The child also seems to be connecting the dots to the parent’s mortality as much as he was the keeper of the snakes. It is seen that once the snakes are exemplified, the most perilous thought of the imagining mind, the curious child is seen to wander off the pages leaving the parents dreams and state of mind as deeply shattered a his own. “His behavior once again contributed to the indifferent attitude of his parents. They no longer cared at all if the boy existed or not. They were simply worn out” (Xue 649). The use of imagery and symbolism by Xue is also a lot darker and moulds the reader’s perception of reality. With Sha-yuan’s mother telling the narrator about the child being able to see snakes amongst rosebushes gives us an insight into the mental framework of the characters. “He told us later that he had not seen any roses, but many snake heads" (Xue 644). The author uses the images of rosebushes and snake heads to acclimate the reader to the vast difference in the characters perception. It shows parents who don’t function, think or operate on the same frequency as the child which forms a basis for their intense terror, lack of understanding and most importantly unhappiness. The journey a family undertakes to achieve happiness is paved with difficulties and hardships. May it be the dilemma faced by a normal British family as described by Bausch or Xue’s description of the mysterious workings of a young boy that becomes a constant struggle for his parents. References Xue, Can. “The Child Who Raised Poisonous Snakes.” The Art of the Story: An International Anthology of Contemporary Short Stories. Ed. Daniel Halpern. New York: Penguin Books, 1999. 644-49 Bausch, R. “Aren’t You Happy For Me?” The Art of the Story: An International Anthology of Contemporary Short Stories. Daniel Halpern. Ed. New York: Penguin Books, 2000. 185-95. Read More