Conflicts Within the Family - Essay Example

? Family Counseling Family and Consumer Science Family Counseling I. Conflict within the Family Conflicts within the family and among the members can be considered as a normal challenge and experience. There are conflicts though that can be considered damaging or destructive to the overall family functioning. One of the main reasons for the conflict within the family is the leadership. During the early stage of the family, the parents are the leaders and the children are the followers. As the children grow older, they begin to develop their own personality which includes independence and responsibility specifically in the decision making process. One example of conflict is when the children already have their own work. In this stage the parents face difficulties in letting the children go and make their own life decisions (Worden, 2002, p.97; Goldenberg and Goldenberg, 2008, p. 4). Clear communication and understanding is important between the parents and the children at this stage to resolve conflict at an early stage. II. Rigid and Diffuse Boundaries Rigid and diffuse boundaries are concepts used to describe the organization of a family. Rigid boundaries within a family can result to disengagement due to the fact that members do not feel the connection with each other. Each member is living their daily activities isolated and independent from the other members of the family. On the other hand, diffuse boundaries means that there are vague or unclear boundaries between the family members. This results to enmeshment or ‘over-involvement’ of the family members to each other’s lives. In our family for example, it is in our culture and traditions to have a close family ties. There are positive and negative consequences to this interaction within the family. One positive consequence is that every member has a ready support system in case of problems. On the other hand, the over-involvement of the family members can result to conflicts due to hindered independence of each member specifically in the decision making process (Goldenberg and Goldenberg, 2008, p. 467). III. Pretend Techniques and Family Metaphors Pretend techniques are “paradoxical interventions based on play and fantasy.” This is undertaken through the process of pretending symptoms. Another concept is the family metaphors which are used in different types of family therapy techniques, one of which is the narrative therapy. Narrative metaphor is any idea used in therapy which is maintained through stories that are related to the life and knowledge of a person about himself or herself. Long-standing metaphor systems are used to initiate a holistic change in the family which means different aspects such as language and interpretation of experiences can also be influenced (Goldenberg and Goldenberg, 2008, p. 365; 470). These adaptations are important in the current therapeutic era since one of the most important concerns within the family is the complexity of the way of life in the society wherein the whole family has to adapt. They can only achieve the proper adaptation skills when every member is working together. On a personal view, I would feel comfortable using the idea in therapy with clients since it encompasses the different aspects of the family which is important since conflicts and problems that are needed to be resolved cannot be isolated or separated from the other issues within the family. IV. Haley’s Case Haley’s belief is common in the family. The example given which is that the mother becomes ill and cannot be left alone when the adolescent daughter wants to go out for the evening can be considered as a manipulative act on the part of the parent. This can only occur when there is lack of communication between the parents and the children. The said scenario can be considered as a last resort for the parent maybe due to prior events when the adolescent daughter did not follow her parents command and still went out without permission. Based on personal observations, another example is discouraging the children about the demands and responsibilities of living alone when they wanted to separate from the household. V. Strategic Therapy Strategic therapy is a type of intervention wherein the therapist is responsible for initiating change and planning within the family. This intervention can result to negative reactions from the family members since an outsider is making plans and pointing out the mistakes and wrong habits of the family that needed to be changed (Goldenberg and Goldenberg, 2008, p. 285). If I am the client though, I would not be offended with the said initiative because I know that the therapist will not implement an intervention when it is not really needed by the family. Of such an intervention is applied, and then it means the problem of the family is far more complicated and serious that what it appears to be. VI. Change-Oriented Questions There are different types of questions that fall under the change-oriented questions. One of the types that I personally find most comfortable to use is the exception-oriented type of questions which is mainly the process of segregating the different aspects and problems affecting the family. This is due to the fact that it can help focus the therapy and intervention that will be used to resolve the issues causing stress in the interaction and relationship between family members (Goldenberg and Goldenberg, 2008, p. 167). VII. Milan Approach Milan approach is a type of intervention that revolutionized the view of family therapy. Before the Milan approach, the main view is to change and restructure the life of the family. But after the application of the Milan approach, a big change had happened. Instead of creating strategies for the family, the examination and analysis of thoughts, attitudes, beliefs, and meanings of the behaviors of each family member became the main trend. The later Milan intervention is what I personally prefer due to the effects it had brought about in changing the way that family counseling is undertaken. New views are important in any field of study to be able to achieve growth and development that can answer to the current and modern needs of the people (Goldenberg and Goldenberg, 2008, p. 288). VIII. Family Therapy through One-Way Mirror Being observed from behind a one-way mirror can have different effects to the effectiveness of the interventions. One is that information can be withheld and behaviors can be hindered of the knowledge that they are being observed. When a therapist leaves the family alone while consulting with colleagues, can change the reaction of the members of the family. During the said session, the normal interaction and family dynamics can be observed. This will help in the determination of the problem and the proper intervention that can be applied. IX. Tomm’s Reflexive Questions Tomm’s reflexive questioning is a type of intervention that explores the second-order cybernetics ideas which is composed of different questions that can determine the status of the family life. Included in the said questions are future-oriented questions, observer-perspective questions, unexpected countercharge questions, embedded suggestion questions, normative-comparison questions, etc. (Goldenberg and Goldenberg, 2008, p. 307). I would choose to ask future-oriented question since it can make the members of the family think about the situation in the present and the possible situation in the future. One specific question that can be asked is the situation after the problem in the family had been resolved. My family would respond in a positive manner that after the issues within the family had been resolved, the future will be better. This is also a good question to ask the clients to be able to widen their perspective regarding the family situation. X. Techniques of a Chosen Therapy Behavioral parent training is the chosen therapy because the parents are the foundations of every family. When it is the parents who are incompetent and having problems within the family, every member is affected. Based on different research results, behavioral parent training can make a significant difference in changing the antisocial behavior of the children, thus, improving their performance in the society (Goldenberg and Goldenberg, 2008, p. 465). XI. Contingency Contract A contingency contract is a form of agreement written formally that describes the need for each member to undertake actions for each other under certain informed and indicated circumstances. This can be considered helpful in resolving any conflicts between parents and children. XII. Dysfunctional Pattern in the Family One example of dysfunctional pattern between two members of the family is dependence. One of the main payoffs for the one who depend is that there is no need to work as hard as he/she should be because he/she has a sure support system at all times. Prestige is the main payoff for the one who is helping another family member all the time. In the long run though, this is unhealthy since one will not be trained of being responsible and independent while the other would become egoistic since he/she is the stronger person in the family at all times. References Goldenberg, I. and Goldenberg H. (2008). Family therapy: An overview (7th ed.). Pacific Grove, CA: Brooks/Cole. Satir, V. (1988). The new peoplemaking. Mountain View, CA: Science and Behavior Books. Worden, M. (2002). Family therapy basics (3rd ed.). Pacific Grove, CA: Brooks/Cole. Read More