First Visit to the United States - Essay Example

A Victory The very first time I visited the United s was unforgettable. I landed in Chicago and was extremely excited about the visit. I was moving slowly in a long queue waiting for a border officer to check my visa and other documents. I made a step ahead to the line right in front of boarder officer. A chubby African-American woman lifted her tired eyes on me; her face looked like she was wondering why did the entire world decided to visit that country all at once? I barely kept smile away from my face. “The purpose of your visit, young lady?” she asked me automatically. “Studying. But it will be later. Now I’m going to travel for some time” I shouted. The woman looked neither angry nor irritated but calmly pressing; she was suspiciously silent, probably expecting some other answer from me. I started worrying, trying to remember whether there was anything I could have hidden from the U.S. government. The moment after my thoughts were so twisted up that I started even remembering some random crime scenes from several movies I had seen before; it seemed to me that it was me who were omitting those crimes and I had just forgotten that. My rationality was trying to fight the mess that was happening in my head by convincing my panic nature that I was a decent person and I wouldn’t have done anything immoral. “… Did you make it?” I caught the last phrase the woman said to me. “I did what?? What did I do? Oh my god, did I do something illegal? What did they find for me?” I was thinking, feeling that my heart was beating extremely rapidly. I felt that my body was going out of my control and a wave of strange panic fewer was flooding the entire body of mine. The woman was patiently looking at me, expecting for a response, although I wasn’t ready to answer anything on the question that I had no idea what was about. My eyes were turning wet and I acknowledged that it was time for me to hold myself up. “You couldn’t have done anything wrong” whispered my rationality. “What if she will consider me as a suspicious person and decide to check on me carefully! And then they will find something illegal in my past life history. They always do! I saw that in dozens of American TV series and movies. They always find out that something illegal was done by a person who you wouldn’t have even suspected in making any crime!” answered the panic part of me. “That’s insane! How could they find anything on you if you haven’t even been in the United States before?” my rationality was getting completely angry. “You should figure out how we will get out of this! You are the sensible part here! Think!” the panic part of me started actually panic. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself down and turn my thoughts off. “Excuse me? Could you repeat the question, please?” I tried to look as confident and benevolent as I was able to in that very moment. “My son has the same wrist band as yours. Did you make this pretty bracelet by yourself?” the woman repeated her previous question, carefully pronouncing every single world like if I wasn’t able to understand what she was talking about. I slowly looked down on my wrist, processing the question. “Yes, I made it” I answered confusedly still staring at my wrist. “Hmm… interesting how this wrist would look handcuffed?” a silent voice of panic whispered in my head. So it started all over again. Millions of thoughts flew in my mind. Rationality was trying to calm my panic down, failing in each and every argument against the irrational reasons my panic randomly shouted inside my head. There were also thousands of situations from my favorite American TV series, where I imagined myself as a participant. First, I remembered “White Collar” and imagined myself being a fraud that had stolen some very expensive artwork from some very famous private collection that was situated somewhere. Then I suddenly thought that what if I had pretended to be a false lawyer like the lead character of “Suits” and the U.S. government found out that I was lying about finishing Harvard law school. “What if they had found out that I’m not a real lawyer?” the very last thought that I caught in my mind before realizing that the women was looking at me aggrievedly. “Are you okay?” she asked me with a note of compassion. She was confused because I probably looked extremely anxious and terribly horrified. For the first moment I suddenly realized that maybe she was trying to comfort me and break the ice by asking whether I’d made that wrist band myself. “Yes, I’m fine. Just nervous a little bit.” The thoughts’ confrontation stopped and I finally felt that there was nothing for me to worry about. The woman was studying me with interest. Then she slowly took a can with a measuring hopper and put in front of me. She pressed the measuring hopper’s button and poured some lotion on her palms. I was observing her actions and felt that panic was coming back for some reason which I hadn’t exactly understood yet. “Do you need some lotion?” the woman asked me very kindly. “Oh, no. Thank you” I was flattered and felt comfortable. “Then your fingerprints, please” her face suddenly turned serious and her voice sounded like tinkling. “She knows!” the panic was right there; it seemed like she waiting for that tricky question. My hand was shaking and I put my finger on the scanner. The most terrifying thought of mine was that the woman might have noticed that my heart was about to whip itself out of my chest and my fingers were so wet that I was afraid of flooding the entire scanner. I was observing the woman’s face. She was extremely serious and focused of the monitor in front of her eyes. That half of minute went into infinity and it seemed like my entire life flashed before my eyes. My rationality gave up fighting with my panic and I was just silently remembering random crime scenes from all the TV series had ever watched. “Welcome to the United States of America” the woman smiled. “You may go. Have a nice time there”. I turned to the gates and stepped ahead. “I told you!” shouted rationality victoriously. Read More