Learning to Listen by Peggy Ramin - Essay Example

The author reveals that the culture of one’s family influences his or her behavior.  Further, the author reveals that one’s family can make him or her develop poor or good listening skills, which she emphasizes by revealing to the readers that she learned about her poor listening skills from her family. Good listening demands that one be keen and completely identify with the speaker. Ramin emphasizes that great listening involves “deeply identifying with the person you’re speaking with when their story becomes so vivid that your world becomes less about you and more about them” (Para 2). The author further makes it clear that hearing is different from listening. Hearing simply means making no sense of what the speaker says. Good and effective listening requires an individual to focus more on the speaker rather than himself.  A good listener identifies with and becomes part and parcel of the story. Ramin also reveals that poor listening skills can lead to a communication barrier and increases one’s likelihood to miss important things said by the speaker. Ramin also reveals that listening skills can be learned when she says “I might have missed that, had I not learned to listen” (Para 5) about the “I love you” whisper from an orphaned girl to her at Noah’s community center.

Ramin’s claim that one should learn when to speak and when to listen is very true. I particularly had poor listening skills but learned a lesson that changed my listening skills completely. I had gate-crushed a certain wedding in the neighborhood. At the door of the hall where the occasion was scheduled, a security guard instructed me that empty blue seats were reserved for some special people invited to the wedding. Unfortunately, I was simply nodding and talking at the same time, while my mind wandered around. I made it straight to the chairs, motivated by a few people who were already sitting on that end. Soon after, I heard someone announce: “Please vacate if you are occupying the wrong seat.” I could see everyone looking at me suspiciously and I knew right then that the statement was made concerning me. Had I listened to the guard keenly, I would have escaped that embarrassing moment.

Effective communication demands great listening and speaking skills. One must learn to listen carefully to others and know when to speak. Effective communication requires active listening where one pays keen attention to every word spoken by the speaker. Good listening skills enable one to learn about people and carefully internalize instructions or statements of the speaker.