The Gay Option by Stephanie Fairyington - Essay Example

English Topic: "The Gay Option" by Stephanie Fairyington Introduction Do you wish to make a simpleissue complicated? Take it to the politicians. Do you wish to make a simple issue profound? Take it to the intellectuals and sociologists. Do you wish to simply drag the issue without any solutions? Take it to a women’s organization. Do you wish to find a permanent solution to the issue of gays? Solve it yourself and stick to your decision. The problem of the gay is to be solved by the concerned individual. He is not inclined to receive pity or condemnation from the society and he should be allowed to live his private life like any other individual on own his terms, without any special demarcating stamp. For the same sex attractions of an individual, it is incorrect and futile to blame parenting of mother or immediate relatives. None should volunteer to tender him concepts of happiness; none should give opinions after opinions to rob him of his private dignity. Such a gay should remove from his dictionary phrases like “shattering experience,” “self-loathing,” etc. The gay’s normal world must run according to his plans; terms and conditions should not apply for his existence with honor. Instead of hide and seek, it is better to deserve and remain contented with what the gay has been blessed with without asking. About the experience undergone by the protagonist Stephanie Fairyington writes, “It worked. Five years later, my mother continues to talk about my lesbianism as if it were a genetic defect like Down syndrome—a parallel she’s actually drawn—because clearly, in her mind, no one would choose such a detestable and challenging state of being.” (http://www.utne.com)These are the punch lines and the ultimate philosophy for the gay to live with honor. This is the ideal that a mother can do for her dear child. The second step the author rightly chooses is to let the mother know that the gay has the option on the issue. This awareness in her was the new beginning in the life for the gay. The immediate question is what could be that choice. Many forces of opposition that are waiting in the wings to see the drama of gay’s life will arrive on the stage to express pity, opposition, condemnation, intolerance about attack on the established norms of the society, loss in the societal equilibrium, with the ardent advice to change the decision. Change decision and do what? None has the answer. The actors have left the stage and disappeared behind the curtain. The protagonist was alone again. Back to square one! The homosexual inclination of the gay is one’s natural trait. The physical structure and mental horizon of the gay is true to the design of the nature that created him thus. Why the nature did this for the gay is one of the many unsolved mysteries of nature. The interventions of the societal leaders about the issues related to the gays needs to be of benevolence and not malevolence. Social reformation and rehabilitation are the easiest words for the philanthropists to pronounce. Solve this practical problem, if you are worthy of the trust of the gays. If the societal leaders and family members are unable to appreciate the complexity of the issue they should not create mental hurdles for the gays. Homosexuality is the fact of life. Accept it, tolerate it, or reject it but it is desirable not to meddle unnecessarily with the gays. What the gay does is of his choice. He does not “infringe the rights of others.” There are many types of sex-related crimes and a gay is not an individual with criminal tendencies. One can get lots of information from newspaper reports, interviews and discussions in the electronic media, articles in the magazines, etc. about the abnormal behavior of the so-called normal individuals of the society. Where do you place the gays in comparison of such individuals who indulge in heinous sex-related criminal activities? Gays choose the option available to them, and by no consideration it is mean, they are just true to their feelings. Gays do not practice hypocrisy or adultery. The discussions by theoreticians about the origins of homosexuality, arguments and counter arguments between the Republicans and Democrats, are not going to solve the personal problems of the gays. Each gay has a distinct issue to address to. The American Constitution is about individual freedom and a gay has right to secure it and to rebel against established procedures or any court rulings, if they hurt his interests. Rules, if any, for the governance of homosexuals will have to be formed by the council of homosexuals. How will the people with normal or abnormal sex tendencies be able to understand the emotions of gays? People generally cover their reasoning with many layers. Remove those layers one by one, those of suspicion, intolerance, ridicule, societal norms, morality, religious bigotry, and meet the gays with an open heart. Each gay is the child of the society; view them the way you treat your normal child and the leave the rest to the concerned gay, and he will manage his personal life. What do the sociologists and psychologists do in their research laboratories? They boast of their impartial, scientific yardsticks to arrive at decisions. Where have the gays faulted? On the one hand scientists vouchsafe for the “biological origins of gayness,” say “sexuality is predestined,” and from the spiritual pedestal wise people proclaim that sexuality is immutable, but in encounters with such individuals, no inner respect is shown for the gays. Why politicians are making a complicated issue of a simple fact? What is their hidden agenda and what for? Do not ever try to bring the concept of biological dehumanization to find solutions to the issue of homosexuals. The problem will get further complicated and there are many historical evidences to this assertion. A human being has done enough to demean a fellow human being in the name of race, color, sex etc. Gays are not interested in such discrimination. You will only add fuel to the fire by doing so. The gays are fond of the human rights as much as any other member of the society. Those who say homosexuality is a sin have either lost their sense of proportion or balance of mind or both! Sin is an intentional act and gays are not born gay by offering ardent prayers for their birth. It is an incident of nature but society views it as the deliberately created accident by the concerned gay. Gays can only pray, God pardon them, for they do not know what they are telling about the gays. Conclusion: The gays are not silent; they have won legal battles, and enactments have been passed in their favor, marriage certificates are issued by the government authorities to the same sex couple. The present need is same sex marriage should not act like a thorn in popular parlance in the society. As rightly pointed out Fairyington, they need acceptance, not tolerance. It is futile to expect perfect morality in gay marriages; where is such morality in normal marriages? Temptations and failures are there in all types of marriages. The two should live together, if they agree to live thus, and no one has the right to be judgmental that it is a thorny path. This is a well-argued article, written straight from the heart with no bias or wrong motives in the submissions of the author. This is a peculiar social problem that deserves societal understanding and the solution is simple, unless it is made complicated by the society and the government. Cultural push, social control, religious dogma must all take their respective seats and watch and encourage this real life drama like genuine spectators. Any concession is great, if it contributes to the happiness of gays. It is possible to live in a society with opposing beliefs. Works Cited Fairyington, Stephanie. The Gay Option The Gay Option Web: http://www.utne.com/Politics/The-Gay-Option.aspx Read More