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I have many colleagues and class mates who seem to easily write their papers, and some even seem to enjoy the process of writing, but for me, it is a stupendous endeavor, and a task rather than an enjoying skill and an absorbing engagement. Through the writing of this personal essay, I not only plan to highlight my writing habits and manner, but also hope to discover what makes writing so hard for me, and what are the ways in which I can improve upon it.
The kind of writing that I mostly am subjected to is academic and technical writing, owing to the classes and the courses that I have undertaken for my education. As a result, it is very formal in style, and needs to be authentic and properly referenced. Perhaps that is the reason for my dislike of this task. It is very difficult for me to get started in any paper. The beginning is often the hardest part of the paper for me. I tend to procrastinate and leave the actual act of writing for later; instead, I spend most of the time reading the source material and making notes. Although it is a good practice to thoroughly research the topic and make notes about it when writing academic papers, I make it an excuse for not doing the actual write-up. ...
That might be one of the reasons for writing so many rough drafts first. Once I have copied the text on the computer from the notes that I have made, I leave it at that, without reading the final paper in order to find any mistakes that I might have made or any revisions that might be needed. Perhaps this is because I have exhausted myself writing the drafts, and typing the final paper is so much of a horror for me that once it is over, I do not have the heart or the nerve to go through the process of reading and revising again. Several times, due to my habit of not reading the final copy, I have ended my making many typing errors and grammatical mistakes which could have been easily avoided had I read the paper once. I believe the reason behind this is the fact that I get very conscious and nervous to get the facts write and to provide proper referencing to avoid plagiarism. This is essential when writing academic papers. I get very worried about the formalities of the paper, and in the process end up hating the actual practice of writing. I am more at ease when I am writing personal essays or fiction, which occurs rarely. However, I feel free to express myself then, without worrying about referencing and facts and figures. When writing fiction, I do not write a rough draft on a paper with pencil first; I type directly on the computer. Even if I feel the need to write a rough draft first, I ignore it, because I want to break free of the constraints of academic writing. Fiction writing gives me more opportunities to explore myself and my writing style, and to develop my interest in writing. Sometimes, I even happen to enjoy it, as long as I do not have to give it up for checking or review. This is because of my lack of confidence even as a fiction writer.
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