Limiting Hours of Television - Case Study Example

1. Introduction This paper analyzes a student text entitled “Limiting Hours of Television”, written by native an English student. The paper is divided into several parts including the reason why I chose the text, linguistics analysis of the text and suggested teaching to improve the student's writing. First and foremost, I chose this text because it is an interesting subject and the writer would be able to provide many justifications and opinions on the topic, which would help me in understanding the writer’s written skills. Such a text needs to be persuasive in nature as the writer is trying to present her opinion about the issue, thus, the writing and presentation skills of a person needs to be immaculate while trying to attempt such a writing style (Brown & Eisterhold 2004). Writing in a persuasive manner is important to learn as in our daily lives we face situations wherein we have to persuade others about our own point of view and discuss our opinions with them (Brown 2001). 2. Linguistic analysis of the written piece 2.1. Text level 2.1.1. What type of text is it? The text under analysis is a persuasive text or writing, wherein the writer attempts to convince her readers for or against a particular topic or issue, which in this case are the reasons for limiting hours of television. This kind of writing follows the format of giving an introduction, a body of arguments and an emphatic conclusion (Lightbown & Spada 2006). The text is trying to make a strong statement against television viewing and its negative impact on the teenagers. It is an important subject to be analysed as it has social relevance towards shaping the future of our youngsters. The writer makes a considerable attempt at proving her point and is persuasive at certain points in the text. However, on an overall basis, the writer is not able to address the basic purpose of the paper in a proper manner. For instance, she makes various assumptions without giving any critical support for them. A case in point, the writer says television is dangerous, but does not provide any logical reason behind it. Further, due to the lack of coherence in the text, the writer often provides confusing sentences without any meaning. Also, the writer instead of addressing the issue of television viewing digresses into issues such as bad effects of technology or excessive use of computers. Thus, it can be stated that although, the writer makes an effort to present her views, they were not presented properly or in a coherent manner and therefore, is not persuasive enough to make an impact on the readers (Mandler 1984). The writer is not able to properly orientate, engage or persuade the reader through this text. In order to make the readers familiarise with the topic, it is advisable to provide several instances to highlight the importance of the topic (Grabe & Kaplan 1996). However, the writer does not use this technique and simply makes assumptions. Although, she does provide some instances about students not doing their assignments properly or not socializing due to excessive television viewing, these points are not presented in a cohesive or persuasive manner. Further, the writer needs to use the technique of dialogue or present interesting facts to engage the reader (Knudsen 1992). However, in this text, the writer fails to do so and does not support her opinions with facts or figures. Finally, the writer is not able to persuade the reader to agree with her point of view as her opinions are not presented in a strong manner and lacks cohesion. 2.1.2. What are the expected parts or stages A persuasive writing style follows the format of an essay and should have an introduction, a body providing arguments against or for the topic and a strong conclusion (McCulley 1985). The writer in this text has indeed attempted these stages and has provided an introduction, body and conclusion. However, her attempts were not strongly enforced. She clearly lacks cohesion in her writing and is not able to present her ideas in an organized manner. Although, her paragraphs focus on different arguments, sometimes they are too long and therefore, the readers might not show interest in them. Further, her introduction and the conclusion have similar content and it seems as if the writer was in a hurry to finish the text. 2.1.3. Means of cohesion (cohesive devices) In this type of text, it is important for the writer to present the ideas in a cohesive manner for persuading the readers about her point of view. In order to do so, it is important to construct the sentences well and use the device of clauses. Such a technique help in making the text grammatically correct as well. Derewianka (1998) for instance focuses on the emphasis on presenting an idea in the text that could be appreciated and evaluated. Further, the technique of using questioning also helps in presenting a cohesive text. The text analyzed however does not have cohesion, it is grammatically wrong at several spaces and the writer juxtaposes several meaning in the same sentence making it complex as well as meaningless. Further, the writer also uses convoluted sentences which do not help in presenting the central idea of the text as well. 2.2. Referring words The only prominent pronoun used by the writer in this text is ‘it’. The writer has used the pronoun mostly to denote television and often to emphasize on certain ideas or present some views. Although, the writer uses the pronoun mostly in an appropriate manner but she tends to overuse the pronoun as well. Further, in certain sentences the pronoun is used without any significance as well. Also, the writer fails to use pronouns such as ‘they’ to replace the ‘teenagers’ in her text. The writer surprising uses articles very sparingly in the text. The most prominent article used by the writer is ‘a’, while ‘the’ also features in the text but not at frequent intervals. The basic purpose of an article is to indicate the reference that a noun makes in a sentence by being combined with that noun (Cowan 2008). Articles also help in emphasizing a particular noun or denoting a noun. The writer missed various instances where the articles should have been used. Due to the lack of appropriate articles, in most places the sentence looks incomplete or not strong enough. For instance, in the following sentence: “So this decision of reducing and limiting the time spent on television or technologies would be helpful for teenagers” the writer missed placing ‘the’ in front of teenagers. While noun phrases are used to denote an object or subject in a sentence, verb phrases are used to express a state or certain actions. These, however can take various forms (Halliday & Matthiessen 2004). The writer has not excessively used such noun or verb phrases. However, in places that she does, she often does not use them in proper context. For instance, she uses ‘so’ as a replacement for ‘because’ however in one sentence she uses both the words in the same sentence and that too together. “So, because of all those reasons, time spent on television or technologies should be limited at three hours per day.” The writer uses the pointing words this and that the most in the text. Both the words are often seen out of context and irrelevant. Further, in some cases the words instead of helping in pointing towards a particular noun or idea, confuses the reader only. For instance, the writer uses the word ‘this’ in two successive sentences: “This way begins the famous ‘consommation society’ who does as it is told. This society obeys to the rules of the television and follows the exemple that it is given.” 2.3. Word associations The analysis of the text indicates that the writer has a limited vocabulary as she often repeats certain words instead of using the synonyms or antonyms for them. For instance, bad, dangerous, opportunity and limited are being used repeatedly or at least twice. Instead, the writer could have used synonyms like dreadful, hazardous, chance etc. 2.4. Text connectives 2.4.1. Sequencing ideas / arguments Being a persuasive style of writing, it is important to present the ideas and arguments in a sequential order (Harmar 2007). The writer is able to present her ideas in a sequential manner and the arguments are grouped together in each paragraph. For instance, the first paragraph provides the introduction to the text and gives the reasons for the need to limit television viewing for teenagers. Thereafter, the writer explains each of these arguments in separate paragraphs. 2.4.2. Adding information: The writer provides added information about the topic in most of her examples. For instance, she talks about the negative influence of advertisements on teenagers, which might be the fallout of excessive television viewing. Further, she also talks about the impact on social life due to television viewing as well. However, certain additional opinions cannot be connected with the topic. For instance, the writer talks about the blurring of real and reel life and gives the example of video games, but does not explain its significance to television viewing. 2.4.3. Condition / concession: The persuasive writing style requires the writer to focus on various conditions as well (Graves 2000). In this text the writer talks about the various reasons for limiting time for television viewing for teenagers and provides various conditions on how it would be helpful for the teenagers if they watch less television. 3. Sentence level and below 3.1. Sentence meaning The sentences used by the writer provide a sequence of arguments and therefore, follows the cause-effect technique. For instance, in the first paragraph, the writer talks about the reasons for not watching excessive television and gives pointers in the next few lines about the reasoning. This clearly follows the cause and effect technique. 3.2. Sentence type The writer uses complex, compound and complex/compound sentences in the text. The sentences are often convoluted and difficult to understand the meaning. In the following sentence, the writer uses the conjunction ‘and’ to make a compound sentence: “For all those reasons and to protect teenagers, time spent on electronical devices such as television and technologies should be limited.” Although, the compound and the complex sentences used by the writer are still understandable, it is difficult to find meaning in the complex/compound sentences used by the writer. For instance, in the sentence “Teenagers are most vulnerable to those ideas because they are in a moment where they build what they are going to become as an adult, and, for that reason, can be easily influenced”, the author uses convoluted technique to explain the fact that being vulnerable, teenagers get easily influenced. 3.3. Tense usage The text is set in present tense and the writer uses this constant tense in the entire text, except in the first paragraph were the writer used future tense through ‘would’ usage. However, there is inconsistency in using subject-verb agreement in this text. For instance, in this sentence, “One sees a lot of advertisement when watching television and because of it, one would buy the product without asking himself if the product is truly a good one, as said the advertisement, or if it can be harmful, for the body for exemple,” the subject is advertisements and the verb is about it being harmful, however, this agreement between the subject and verb could not be found. 3.4. Persuasive devices within sentences Some of the persuasive devices that should be included in a sentence to make the arguments authentic include testimonials, name-calling and loaded words (Lock 1996). However, in the text no such technique has been used. In fact, the examples used by the writer were very vague and did not have any relevance to the text. The writer also uses modals such as should and would to become persuasive in her writing. Further, the writer also uses only negative elements of watching television in the writing and does not use the positive-negative technique to highlight the pros and cons of the subject. The absence of such persuasive technique reduced the strength of the arguments presented by the writer. 4. Word level The text indicates that the writer does not have a repository of words and good vocabulary skills. In a persuasive writing, it is important to use strong words so that the reader is convinced about the writer’s viewpoint. 5. Spelling and punctuation The writer is very poor with her spellings and punctuation. She even misspells basic words such as example and assignment. Further, in one instance, she uses the mis-spelled word electronical instead of the right word electronic. Further, her usage of the phrase ‘consommation society’ is not only a spelling error but even confuses the reader about the context of the phrase as well. 6. Further comments The student has made a good effort of explaining her views on the issue and had expressed her opinions in separate paragraphs. However, due to the lack of persuasive techniques such as coherence, strong vocabulary and correct grammatical usage, the comments made by the writer is not being highlighted properly. Therefore, the writer should focus on improving her grammar and spellings, along with increasing her vocabulary. She should also read her text several times before submitting the final version to detect any errors in the writing. 7. Suggested teaching to improve the student’s writing The teacher needs to guide the student with more diligence and with proper instructions. These can lead to the student sharpening her academic writing skills. The teacher needs to provide even basic instructions such as usage of correct grammar and spellings. Further the teacher may develop various modules to harness the vocabulary skills of the student. It will be helpful if the student is asked to write essays on of weekly basis and present it in front of the class. Also, it will be advisable to encourage the student read extensively as well for developing her vocabulary and coherence skills. 8. Suggest activities to help the student develop their writing skills Some of the activities that can be undertaken to develop the writing skills of the student include the following: Providing grammar exercises: The student should be given various assignments based on using the correct grammar. For instance, the teacher might ask the student to write an essay using only a particular tense or fill in the blanks to complete a story using correct grammar. Story writing: In order to develop coherence in the student’s writing, the teacher might employ the technique of story writing wherein the student needs to write a story with a proper format and paragraph flow. Reading and understanding: The teacher may ask the student to read certain portion of a text and ask the student to summarize the portion in a concise manner. This would help in understanding how to write in a comprehensive manner and express opinions well. Developing new words: The teacher may also ask the student to underline various new words that the student has encountered in her reading. Further, the teacher should encourage the student to incorporate these words in her daily writings as well. 9. Reflection and critique 9.1. Challenges writing academic writing present to most students Better known as the language of scholarship, academic writing is a must for higher education. Ones written material and the quality which is published or may be otherwise, determines the acceptability factor for being a scholar and can be seen as a person for pursuing degrees or higher education(Lillis & Turner 2001). Also, for being a skilled academic writer, it is to be seen how the degree or the writing reflects some of the foundations which is philosophical and can be a linguistic features for any academic discourses in a society (Lillis & Turner, 2001). One does not need to be a master of conventions and also not native speaker of the language in a given community or society (e.g. English), may be even after general education or any other qualification (Lea & Street, 1998). On the other hand, academic writing which is with quality can be attainted after getting trained. 9.2. Challenges writing in English present to ESL learners With the native writers who speak English, who have only been able to get high school education, Bizzell (1982) opines that social condition of the students and after receiving training can hamper the ability for succeeding academically. So to say, the issues with academic writing can emanate either from social or cultural circumstances as they emerge from the lack of ability. The challenge is higher for students whose second language is English, as they include the linguistic and cultural nuances in the language. Lack of cultural knowledge and target language can be an obstruction for being successful academically (Spack, 1988). Writing that is poor has been cited as a major factor for failure amongst the international students, they are also not able to meet the institutional expectation (Bacha, 2002). As per the research conducted, the experiences with the multilingual writers, has been that they often struggle to write with regards to Western context. They are not able to catch the finer nuance of the writing and thus, often fail to achieve the target set. There are mostly three type of problems that the student whose second language is English, namely, the first initiation that is faced by all the students to perform, acquiring the nuances of the language and the socio-linguistic difference. 9.3. My approach to teaching writing Training or preparing these international students for academic writing can be a hard task. One of the major challenge being preparing the international students with the difference in the English between the western and their own version. Most times, student group as per the language level in the programme, thereafter per the subject specialisation. In case the students are allowed to produce writing as per the academic standards, they have to develop a good understanding of the gradation of the subject. Most of the students who are native speakers are not been taught to write, their schools are responsible for giving them a lot of practice. 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