Parenting Model Metaphor - Essay Example

Reflections of a Pencil What is parenting likened to? Looking around the park one day and at the faces of families gaily playing together, an answer sprung forth, amusing the amateur philosopher in me. It was funny how I watched them while nibbling on the tip of the pencil I used while writing down some reflections that an “aha” moment came to me. I believe that parenting is very much like a pencil. It is a special tool that leaves marks – impressions of things when given enough effort. Children can read and emulate whatever their parents model to them. It is important for parents to build their children’s trust as they establish a strong relationship with them while they grow up as a family. A pencil is considered a tool used for learning, especially in school. Chapter 14 empowers parents by reminding them that they are their children’s first teachers. The learning that children imbibe from their parents serves as the strongest foundation to the learning that will take place outside the home when children are allowed to venture there. Parents need to know how influential they are over their children in the activities and interactions they have with them. These become indelible marks that help shape children into the people they were meant to grow up to be. Parents embody what is true and good, a wellspring of values virtues wherefrom their children can drink to sustain them in the building a good character. Thinking about such noble task, makes me realize just how far so many parents are from that ideal. Most parents are still works in progress and very prone to commit mistakes. They may lose their cool, tend to favor some children over the others, and don’t spend enough quality time with their children. Like a pencil, these mistakes could be corrected and rectified, with a trusty rubber head that can erase their mistake and failures to provide them with a clean slate that can help them start a-fresh. Sometimes, the nature of parenting comes with a giant whirl of things to be done and accomplished in a short span of time that parents neglect to help their children understand what is going on. It is the same when my mind is on a roll with lots of ideas that my pencil takes a beating for it to scribble down as much as I can with it, usually leaving me with squiggles that end up illegible! I know that slowing down, and carefully digesting my ideas would make me discern better on my plans and decisions. Likewise, when parents take a few minutes to explain to children what needs to be done in a level of language they understand, children are empowered and they feel important enough to be given such time and attention. When children experience such feelings, they are more likely to work with their parents (Chapter 12). When writing with a pencil, the writer’s grip on the pencil has great effect on his strokes. If the grip is too loose, he ends up with very light strokes that may not be readable. If the grip is too tight, it tires the hand easily and the pencil becomes used up right away. What is needed is the right balance in the intensity of the grip, much like balancing attachments between parents and their children. “A secure attachment is the end product of balancing work, family interaction and communication with children” (Chapter 12). Children feel more secure when their parents have time for them, but still maintain their own lives as individuals. Apart from being a writing instrument, a pencil has been discovered to be useful for many other things. Some people use it as an instrument to reach things that have rolled under the table; as a back scratcher; to hold the hair in a bun; as something to bite on when one is nervous; as a base for a pinwheel; and so many more! Similarly, parenthood makes parents wear different hats throughout the day. One parent claimed that she is “chef, chauffer, therapist, sociologist, teacher, tutor, housekeeper, encyclopedia, nurse, social director, financial advisor, and mom. (The list could go on and on!) I am skilled in some of these roles, adequate in some, and poor in the others. I have to admit I wasn’t completely aware of the challenges I would face as a parent, but learning new skills and working with my husband to foster success in the lives of our children has been delightful” (Chapter 13). As a pencil, parents have to remember that what matters most is what is inside of them… the lead formed from life experiences fortified with the outer crust of wisdom in the form of wood, are what makes the pencil valuable so it can do its purpose. This innate potential is what parents should have to strive to develop. Parents must take it upon themselves to be a lifelong learner – continuously improving through constant interaction with their children, reading about appropriate parenting strategies, maybe attending seminars, doing research by comparing notes with other parents and simply striving to be the best parents they can be. The challenges parents face – misbehaving children, budgeting for time and resources to provide to the children, episodes of illnesses and family emergencies, nerve-wracking and unceasing bickering among the children, the list goes on…are painful experiences which sharpen them in becoming better pencils. Sometimes, being a parent is so stressful that one can almost reach the threshold of being burnt-out. The deleterious consequences on parents’ health and happiness as well as those of their children may prove to be alarming at times. When that happens, parents should know it’s time for them to step back and take a breather and handle stress while it is still manageable. Little pencils also need sharpening. This may be equated to children’s resiliency. “Resiliency is a set of protective mechanisms that modify a persons responses to risk situations. Children that have learned this resiliency can navigate successfully through our complex society. They have learned to bounce back after a set back has occurred in life” (Chapter 14). Children learn resiliency from parents who exhibit that they are capable of surviving the stressful situations that life throw them. The challenges in parenting have valuable lessons to leave that indeed help children to become better parents themselves. A pencil is not “all business”. It can also be used for fun like when people doodle or play hangman, tic-tac-toe or solve crossword puzzles. Likewise, parenting can also be fun. Play is very important in strengthening bonds between parents and children (Chapter 15). It can be an opportunity for children to feel that they have control over certain situations especially if their parents follow their lead. Child-centeredness, especially during play, raises children’s self-esteem knowing that their parents value their ideas, and spend time pursuing them during play sessions. The most important reflection as a parent-pencil is that one must allow oneself to be held and guided by the hand that holds him. Having full faith and trust in their maker helps them survive the challenges and maintain their sanity in the demanding but fulfilling vocation they are in. God is the ultimate source of strength who would not have given parents children if He has not designed them to be a high-quality parents to serve God’s beloved flock of children. One just needs to trust He will use him to write a lovely piece that would touch many lives until their “lead” runs out… in time. Read More