Dreams and Realities: Our Daily Thoughts - Essay Example

Our daily life is full of interactions. Interactions with different people – could be pleasant orcould be unpleasant. Every moment in life teaches us something; every moment is an experience. It is for us to be able to understand and conceive it; it is for us to be able to derive the meanings out of it. The impressions created on the mind in the formative years influence the later life to a great extent. It is our parents and teachers who guide us through the process of growing. I too have had my share of ups and downs. I can vividly recall the joyful yet somber periods in my life which have left a deep impression. We, a family of six, moved into this town from Mexico and lived in a two-bed roomed home located in a very low income neighborhood. My first school, the elementary school was a bit run down but conveniently located only a block away. The learning process started from here itself. Since my first language was Spanish it was difficult to balance and understand the English that I was learning at school. What made it even more difficult was the fact that my parents did not know any English so I could not go to them for help. Beginning with kindergarten I remember listening to the teacher very intensely but not being able to identify nor comprehend even simple hand gestures that other students could understand. I always thought it was normal to share books and other materials for school. At the elementary school I was diagnosed with a speech impediment along with stuttering, which they attributed to the Spanish that was spoken in my family household. After the diagnosis I was asked to spend about a half an hour each day with a teacher in the special education department. I experienced those uncomfortable moments when class was in session and I would leave noticing the stares of all the other students knowing where I had to go. I wanted so much to be part of the normal curriculum that at times I felt animosity towards those that knew the language. It were these feelings of being singled out which took me a while before I realized the enthusiasm and the interest the teacher took in the special education department. It was this concern of his which gave me the impetus to move ahead. My teacher was a tall man, large build with gentle features that made me feel at ease. He noticed I was very adamant being there but he took a very placid approach allowing me to feel at home as we built a bond of trust. It did take some time for me to trust him because I was a very shy child and it made it very difficult for me to learn English and work towards correcting my speech impediment. Having to wait each day for our session put a lot of stress on me because I wanted so terribly to show him that I was improving. It took a while but I soon looked forward to our meetings and his desire to help me improve. Even today I recall him so enthusiastically showing me pictures of fruit and breaking up the words to pronounce them. He could sense my desire to learn but yet I felt that I fell short each and every time. It took awhile but I eventually improved my language and our sessions grew more intense with a more applicable approach. One thing that I did not tell him or others was after each and every special education session I would go home and teach my parents what I had learned that day. I began to feel a great sense of pride that these classes were not just about me but also for my entire family. It used to be overwhelming to be able to share the happiness with them. We learned as a family and after a while the questions I had about the English language were not just my own but from my family. Hence my elementary school itself gave a fair share of both positive and negative experiences. This moment it was a feeling of being singled out while leaving the class for special education yet the next moment was the enthusiasm to meet with the teacher and trying to please him. Then again was the joy of sharing with my family members. But what I realized in the days to come was that neither happiness nor sadness is permanent. Both these experiences go hand-in-hand to make a person complete. Today I understand that if we do not have sadness we would not know the value of those happy moments. Although I eventually improved enough that I felt that I no longer needed the classes but for one reason or the other, the special education department felt otherwise. I personally felt that I spent more time in that particular system than I needed. As my sessions grew in difficulty I was given a different special education teacher whom I felt wanted to keep me in this program for an indefinite period of time. Each session always ended with her telling me that I was improving but needed more work. I felt uncomfortable with her and at times felt that we were working against each other rather towards some common goal. It did not take long until I felt that I was some kind of poster child for their special education program, something of a role model for all other minorities. Finally my special education classes ended when I graduated from 6th grade. I then moved on to Junior high. This too presented once again many new struggles and triumphs for me. It was here for the first time that I had my own books, not having to share them with anyone. This school was not far from the elementary school that I attended and reflected much of the same format. The majority of the students came from poor families where drugs and violence were prevalent. When I first walked into the school I felt very unsafe because I immediately recognized the graffiti and other gang paraphernalia that symbolized warnings for all who entered through its doors. I had the added pressure to remove the stigma that my siblings had left behind as being lack luster students. I threw myself into my studies wanting to succeed so desperately to show to all the teachers that I was in no way except through my blood lineage related to my older siblings. It was a great transition from the elementary school to the junior high. I was no longer the special education student labeled as ‘a slow learner’. Junior high allowed me to create my own identity as a hard working student. There used to be a constant struggle within me – to be one with the rest of the students. At the same time I realized that my family background had a significant role to play. The feeling of being inferior to others always pulled me back. These two opposite forces often left me in a dilemma but it was here that I caught the attention of a history teacher who somehow saw something in me worth saving. She often kept me after school checking my work and often asking me questions about college and my future. I was all of thirteen years and I never had any real answers because I never gave it much thought. I believed that those ideas would develop and unfold on their own, as I got older. In all honesty I did not think that I could get into any college after feeling like I struggled in my special education classes and being such a shy kid. I have always envisioned college students as being filled with knowledge, new ideas, leaders of the world, and I just never saw my self in that same light. After persistent conversations with her she finally convinced me to take the high school AP exams for History and English. I was shocked and delighted (once again contrasting emotions) to find out that I had passed and was admitted into the classes. It was the first time that I felt I had potential to become something great. I started to develop the idea that may be college is possible for me. I realized that progress does not happen; we have to make it happen. Entering high school was one of the greatest shocking truths of my young life. High school was a new battleground for me. It was in a completely new city where I always associated it as being a wealthy community. It was not until I attended high school that I saw my educational experience as being inferior to those students who did not come from the area where I grew up. For a long period of time I thought it was normal to see people selling drugs on the playground as I played basketball. In certain parts of the neighborhood it was common to see the aftermath of gang violence, which included gunshot holes and graffiti sprayed on the walls of the schools. My first day of high school was like going on a trip to an exotic land. Everyone dressed and spoke differently than I did. I eventually got acclimatized to the environment and quickly came to a few realizations. The first realization that I stumbled across was the first time we had to turn in a paper for my English class. I just happened to see the paper of one of my classmates and after reading hers I did not want to turn in my paper. I felt that it was in no way comparable to hers and more than likely any one else’s. I once again began to feel that my education up until that point was inferior to those students who were now in my classes. One moment I was elated and the very next down again. I felt that I was not adequately prepared for the challenges that lay ahead of me. I was always a shy child but now I truly became introverted because I started seeing my self as inadequate and not belonging. I can often recall conversations with other students and not knowing the meaning of words they would use in their everyday vocabulary. I began to feel lost in this new place and being shy only made it worse because I would not seek help nor did I know how to ask for help. I attempted to do the work on my own and it reflected on my grades negatively, all so that I could hide from the fact that I felt that I was the only one not understanding. At this point I realized the greatness of God! Whenever we find ourselves at the end of the tunnel he shows us the streak of light. I suddenly found solace in one of my teachers who finally asked me if everything was going well. I was overwhelmed that I had someone to talk to, and who wanted to help me despite my fear of inferiority. That teacher brought to my attention all the necessary resources that I needed to become a successful student. I immediately sought help and it was not long afterwards, I felt that I was back on the road to college. When I reflect back on my K–12 educational experiences I look at it with many different perspectives. I feel that I was challenged at a very young age both academically and personally because of the environment that surrounded me. I had surpassed my parents in respect to education after the 5th grade and at times it took its toll. My parents have been a very big part of my life and continue to be so. Their presence and support was evident in all activities that I participated in. My parents listened and gave me room to grow as I matured into a young adult, often wondering about my future. They were supportive of my education but for lack of education on their part, they were unable to neither guide nor advise me. I had to decide whether this was something I wanted to articulate in my personal life and educational goals. My earlier educational experience helped my family and me to come closer as we learned together in a new world. It brought certain mysteries such as a new language into a new light of great discovery and the simple pleasure of being able to communicate with the outside world. As I continued with my education it became increasingly frustrating not being able to express my fears to my parents because they did not understand my fear of failing and being inferior. Their simple answer to everything I brought up in regards to education was that I just needed a stronger desire to succeed. Though there is a small validity in their answer it still remains incomplete, which brings me to one of the reasons for taking this class. Through the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the world’s nations have agreed that everyone has a right to education. There is a direct connection between education and democratic values. Literacy enables people to stay informed through newspapers and books; informed citizens are in a better position to improve their democracy (Cited in < http://usinfo.state.gov/products/pubs/principles/education.htm>). "Of all the civil rights for which the world has struggled and fought, the right to learn is undoubtedly the most fundamental ..." (Dubois, W E B cited in ) Much has been read and talked about these thoughts and policies but implementation is the need of the day. Each one of us has to contribute in our small way and there is no hurdle which joint effort cannot make us overcome. I have learnt that the world is diverse and one cannot help but succeed if one believes in one’s self. Support of the peer, of the teachers and the parents help one to inculcate this belief. The ability to successfully interact socially is one of the most important aspects of the child’s development. Achievement in results is only one of the many outcomes of education. I was fortunate enough to get a mentor/teacher at the elementary, junior and the High School even though there were moments of despair. I want to be able to discuss and provide feedback about those students who somehow fall through the cracks of our educational system. I want to learn how to reach out to those students who are neither at the top nor at the bottom but instead those who feel they have no voice because of feelings of inadequacy. Those students who are considered average but lack a certain edge that could push them to further their education. These are the very students who are forced out of an educational system that is not designed to see their potential nor provide support for their future endeavors. I used to be one of those students and I wonder how many more others are waiting to be heard. Read More