Personal Reflection on the Religious Orders - Assignment Example

Personal Reflection on the Religious Orders The religious orders that I have previously been with include the sisters of Lover of the Holy Cross of Los Angeles, Terre Haute Carmel and Alhambra Carmel. I left because I have had a strong urge for a contemplative life for a long period. Even after 4 years of working as the director of the Vietnamese Faith Formation Program, my heart still did not feel satisfied as it yearned for a contemplative life. The reason I left Alhambra Carmel was because they deemed that my health was deteriorating and they decided to send me home. However, the reason I deemed that my health was deteriorating was because I was in a big transition period in my life so I needed more time to adapt to the new environment. It was not easy for me to leave behind my former community to search for my new contemplative vocation because I was comfortable with the life and love the sisters. Also, the reason I left Terre Haute Carmel was my body system could not tolerate the heat over there. Therefore, after 11 months, I asked for to leave the community. I was a briefly professed for five years with Lover of the Holy Cross of Los Angeles. I entered Alhambra Carmel in August 06, 2010, as a postulant and I left on November 5, 2010. I entered Terre Haute Carmel in December, 2010 as a postulant and I received Holy habit in June, 2011. I left the Terre Haute Carmel on February, 2012. I applied to a religious community and my application was declined when I joined Alhambra Carmel. It was declined because they thought that my health was deteriorating, thus I could no longer work with them. Currently, I am employed as a preschool teacher, which I began in January, 2014. Furthermore, I do not repulse any other type of employment. If asked whether I am willing to accept any manual labor or duty in the service of the community, then I will gladly do it, even though I have my own preferences. My hobbies and interest include nature, spiritual reading, as well as craft activities. My professional training was in church leadership training, as well as a nursing assistant. The social quality, which I deem suits me for community life is how I share my deeper self, as well as my love and affection for others. Also, to live a life of faithfulness and allegiance to Jesus Christ and to serve him devotedly with a clear conscience and a clean heart. Apart from this, community life is an incitement to move from self-centeredness to bigger awareness for others and unification with Christ. Conversely, I am wary of trying to locate the “perfect” community and it does not exist. If I find myself at ease with a community, it is most likely a good fit. I might notice a number of defects in the community. This normal since every community is made up of flawed individuals. When I was six years old, I started to dream of becoming a sister, but I quietly kept it to myself till I was 28 years old when I entered the Lover of the Holy Cross of Los Angeles in 2001. I mentioned my strong desire for a contemplative life to my novice mistress when I was in the novitiate, but she encouraged me not to go for. But, after five years of my profession, I felt that I had to do something about it. Then after two years, when I left Terre Haute Carmel and Alhambra Carmel, when I did not live in any Religious environments, my heart still yearned for a contemplative life. However, our God is a God of surprises. So, after that, I got the courage to knock on your monastery door and ask for visit. What inclines me to deem that God is calling me to serve Him in the religious life is that I deem that vocation is a gift from God and it has always been a wondrous mystery to me. I am always in constant prayer concerning this mysterious call to a contemplative life. For sure, I have attempted to view it from many diverse angles. Nevertheless, the answer as to why I chose a Carmel still remains the same: a strong willpower to leave everything behind and follow Jesus more into a life of total self-sacrifice and giving for Him in a veiled, cloistered life. My attitude toward silence and solitude is that they nurture my longing for God and strengthen my communal life. It does draw me to God since I live for Him alone and my heart grows deeper and deeper with Him and it becomes more aware of being quietly in the presence of God. It is like the silence of a couple who have been married for 50 years or more: in place of constantly saying, “I love you,” to each other, they live fully present to one another in a peaceful, quiet awareness. So, silence and solitude is like loving attentiveness, and a simple conversation between friend. “I will lead her into the desert and speak to her heart” (Hosea 2:16). I feel that my personality and temperament are such that I can make the necessary adjustments that will be required for the contemplative life because Christ lives in our midst and makes us one. This is not uniformity, but unity in diversity. Each person remains individually unique and different. Through God’s grace my life on earth is offered to me as a chance to return to this God-likeness, that means to holiness (Matthew 5:48). I like people and social interaction as my vocation called daily to ponder Jesus in my heart and strive to live in the presence of God and to serve Him through others. Through my social interaction with others, I grow in my consciousness of God’s love for me, so this is very important to me. My concept of poverty is that I need to live a life of humble, childlike trust and hope in God. I follow Christ’s detachment from wealth, social position, and intellectual pride. I can practice poverty of spirit when things go wrong by readily admitting that I was at fault as I remember Christ’s poverty of spirit. I accept the responsibility of my action, not shifting the blame to someone else. True poverty is hope and trust in God. My concept chastity is flows only from a heart that is pure and sincere toward God. Purity of heart concerns my direct relationship with God, being utterly sincere with Him, single-hearted in seeking Him alone. Besides that, purity of heart is my freedom from attachments or a desire for worthless things. A sign to me that I am practicing purity of heart is when my heart is peaceful in not desiring things. Also, when I reach out to others in mercy and live with them in peace and justice. So, Chastity is purity that is unselfishness, surrender, thoughtfulness of others and sacrifice. Finally, with regards to obedience, I believe that God has given everyone a free will. So by surrendering the freedom of my own will, I renounce myself. Obedience sacrifices everything selfish in my being – my attachments to my opinions, inclinations, and my personal demands. Obedience does not destroy my personality, but enables it to surrender itself to adhere entirely to God, to His holy, sanctifying will. Also, obedience in total abandonment of my will to the Lord. In conclusion, I feel that my personality and temperament are such that I can make the necessary adjustments that will be required for the contemplated life because Christ lives in our midst and makes us one. This is not uniformity, but unity in diversity. Each person remains individually unique different. Through God's grace, my life on earth is offered to me as a chance to return to this God's likeness, that means to holiness. I feel that community life can and often is made up of a wonderful variety of personalities. It involves a teachable temperament and a willingness to accept differences in others. I consider that Jesus chooses people who are weak to become His spouses, those who will depend entirely on Him to provide for them, to guide me and teach me the way of love. Read More