Conciseness homework - Assignment Example

1. Conciseness: Words Make the following sentences more concise by replacing nouns with verbs. Other minor changes in wording may be necessary.a. Verification of the agreement was indicated by the signing of the contract by members of the M-Global corporate staff. Answer:The contract signed by the members of the M-Global corporate staff served as verification of the agreement.b. The inspectors indicated that observation of the site occurred on July 16, 2005. Answer:The inspectors indicated that the site was observed on July 16, 2005. c. Negotiation of the final contract was to happen on the day after their arrival.

Answer:The final contract would be drafted on the day after their arrival. 2. Conciseness: Wordy Phrases and Long WordsCondense the following sentences by replacing long phrases and words with shorter substitutes.a. In the final analysis, we decided to place the new pumping station in proximity to the old one. Answer:Finally, it was decided that the new pumping station is placed in proximity to the old one.b. Prior to commencing the project, they met to prioritize their objectives. Answer: The objectives were first prioritized before commencing the project. c. Endeavoring to complete the study on time, Sheila transported the supplies immediately from the field location to the M-Global lab.

Answer:Sheila transported the supplies immediately from the field location to the M-Global lab in order to meet the deadline. 3. Conciseness: Clichés and There Are/It Is ConstructionsRewrite the following sentences by eliminating clichés and the wordy constructions there are and it is.a. They all agreed that the issue had been discussed repeatedly for the past 10 years; thus they did not want to reinvent the wheel during the current study.Answer: They all agreed that the issue did not need to be included in the current study as it had been discussed repeatedly for the past 10 years.b. There are many examples of skyrocketing equipment costs affecting the final budget for a project.

Answer:There are several examples of the increasing equipment costs and the effect on the project’s final budget. c. It is a fact that most employees at M-Global believe the company has taken a step in the right direction by adding international offices.Answer:Most employees at M-Global believe the company has positively improved by adding international offices. 4. Sentence ClarityImprove the clarity of the following sentences by changing sentence structures or by splitting long sentences into several shorter ones.a. Therefore, to collect a sample from above the water table, and thus to follow the directions provided by the client, the initial boring was abandoned and the drill rig was repositioned about two feet away and a new boring was drilled.

Answer:The initial boring was abandoned and the drill rig was repositioned about two feet away where the new bore was drilled in order to gain a sample from above the water table. b. After capping the soil sample ring with PVC end caps and then notifying all members of the project team, we placed it in a cooler for storage on-site and transportation later to a chemical analytical laboratory. Answer: The soil sample rings were capped with PVC end caps and members of the project team were informed.

The samples were then stored in coolers on site for transportation to the chemical analytical laboratory. c. Based on the geotechnical data obtained from the sub- surface exploration program, the results of the percolation testing, and the planned plumbing fixtures, the feasibility of installing a leachfield-type on-site sewage- disposal system was evaluated. Answer: The feasibility of installing a leachfield-type on-site sewage- disposal system was based on data obtained from several reports.

The data considered include the sub- surface exploration program, the results of the percolation testing, and the planned plumbing fixtures. 5. Active- and Passive-Voice VerbsMake changes in active- and passive-voice verbs, where appropriate. Refer to the guidelines in the chapter. Be able to supply a rationale for any change you make.a. It was recommended by the personnel committee that you consider changing the requirements for promotion.Answer:The personnel committee recommended changing the requirements for promotion.b. No formal report about assets was reported by the corporation before it announced the merger.

Answer:The corporation did not report any formal report about the assets prior to the merger announcement. c. The graphs showing the differences in depreciation and interest and the net loss on the investment are shown in Appendix A.Answer:Appendix A shows a graph which shows the differences in depreciation and interest and the net loss on the investment. 6. Biased LanguageRevise the following sentences to eliminate biased language.a. The company decided to create a more diverse work- force by encouraged the disabled to apply for the management training program.

Answer:The company decided to create a more diver work – force by encouraging different minorities to apply for the management training program. b. Although each manager was responsible for his own budget, some managers obviously had better accounting skills than others. Answer: Although each manager was responsible for their own budget, a few managers obviously had better accounting skills than others.c. The company policy manual states that each secretary should submit her time card twice a month.

Answer: The company policy manual states all secretaries to submit their time cards bi-monthly. 7. Plain English StyleRevise the following sentences by applying all the guidelines mentioned in this chapter. When you change passive verbs to active, it may be necessary to make some assumptions about the agent of the action, because the sentences are taken out of context.a. Based on our review of the available records, conversations with the various agencies involved, including the Fire Department and the Police Department, and a thorough survey of the site where the spill occurred, it was determined that the site contained chemicals that were hazardous to human health.

Answer: Based on review of reports and inputs from different agencies like the Fire Department and the Police Department, it was determined that the oil spill has left the site chemically contaminated and was hazardous to human health.b. After seven hours at the negotiation table, the union representatives and management decided that the issues they were discussing could not be resolved that evening, so they met the next day at the hotel complex, at which point they agreed on a new contract that would increase job security and benefits.

Answer: Following a seven hour unfruitful negotiation table and a meeting the next day, the union representatives and management agreed on a new contract that would increase job security and benefitsc. It is recommended by us that your mainframe computer system be replaced immediately by a newer, more up- to-date model.Answer: It is recommended that new users replace the mainframe computer system to more up – to – date model.