Marriage Is a Private Affair by Chinua Achebe - Book Report/Review Example

Marriage is a private affair “Marriage is a private affair” is a short story written by Chinua Achebe. The story was set to represent two different phases in the society. The two phases include the old generation whom are bound by the tradition and the new generation who don’t believe in the tradition. The short story illustrates the similarities and the differences between the old generation and new generation concerning their attitudes towards love and marriage. It uses Nnaemeka to represent the new generation while Okeke represents the old generation. It tries to illustrate that today marriage is totally a private affair. The story describes the theme of rigid tradition versus the freedom of a person. The old generation believes that parents are responsible for choosing their children’s life partners. According to the young generation, one needs to have his or her own freedom of choosing his/her life partner. This opposes the needs of the tradition thus leading to the misunderstanding between the two parties; the old and new generations. The theme used in the story is dedication. Nnaemeka representing the new generation remains devoted and firm to his future wife even though his father resists. His father is not happy with his engagement because he strongly believed in the old tradition and religious beliefs.  On the other hand, Nnaemeka believed that he had the right and freedom to choose what is best for him and what he considers to make him happy. Chinua Achebe is trying to make it clear that even though there were customs that were to be strictly followed in the past, they should not be involved in the new generation because the earth evolves with various changes. The old generation should accept change and should also respect it because it can be very futile when resisted. The title of the story, Marriage is a Private Affair expresses many aspects about marriage. The story reveals that marriage should be an agreement between two individuals who love and adore each other. In traditional point of view, according to the story marriage is not an affair between the engaged couples only. Parents are expected to choose a future husband or wife to their children. This creates conflict between parents and their children today. In the story, the characters involved are from different traditional backgrounds. Okeke, Nnaemeka’s father is an Ibo who totally believes in tradition. He stayed with his son Nnaemeka who later leaves the land. Nene is a woman who Nnaemeka desires to marry. She is a teacher and brought up in a Christian background. She grew up in the city of Lagos and does not know more about traditional beliefs.  Nnaemeka and Nene were engaged but Nnaemeka was afraid to tell his father who believes that their tribe members should not marry outside according to the traditions. Nnaemeka is confused because his father had chosen a wife for him from the Ibo community. He confessed to his father that he could not marry the girl he chose for him because he didn’t love her. In addition, he had never had an affair with her before. He therefore told him about Nene who he felt should be his future wife. Unfortunately, his father disagreed with his choice claiming that it was not accepted according to their traditions. Furthermore, he assured him that if he did such a thing, he would be considered as a disgrace to the society. Moreover the girl in question was not from his tribe. Then disagreement between the two forced Okeke to disown his son for eight years when Nnaemeka and Nene had married and got two children.  In the village, Nene was treated as an outsider and was not welcomed in the society either. As she continued to learn their way of life, she managed to form several friends. The community later realized that Nnaemeka and Nene were the happiest couples in the society. They had two children who were inquiring to visit their grandfather Okeke. Okeke was informed about this even though he had avoided his son for eight years. He later accepted the children due to the condition of the weather at the moment. He felt sorry for the helpless children and later accepted the marriage. According to the story, Chinua Achebe illustrates on the topic of marriage. He compares marriage in the past according to the tradition and the present. He further clarifies that the marriage held according to the traditions are forced. It involves individuals who have never met before, or who grew together. The main idea is that the two don’t love each other but are forced to marry. This kind of marriage is normally unfair because the man forces himself to the woman he doesn’t love. On the other hand, a woman was considered a property of the community.  In addition, traditional marriages force children to marry against their wishes. They are threatened to be disowned when they resist. Such families have no peace. It is therefore clear that Achebe is trying to illustrate about change. People of the past who believe in traditions should not force it to the new generations. According to Achebe, the new generations have their rights and freedom to decide on what is best for them.             The theme of the story mainly focuses on marriage concerning the similarities and differences between traditional marriages and religious marriages. Nnaemeka was disowned by his father for eight years because he resisted traditional marriage. He refused to marry the wife his father had planned for him. According to him, he was in the grips of Satan. The book reveals that religious beliefs should be observed since when married individuals compromise on them at their own personal level, perils often befall them. Achebe teaches that love can conquer everything and prevail over the religious influences. For instance, Okeke accepted the children even though their mother was from the wrong side of town and was married against his wishes. He was deeply focused on religion and their tradition. The title of the story, Marriage is a Private affair is actually ironical. Achebe employed juxtaposition by combining the two words; marriage and affair. Marriage actually means the formal bond between two individuals who love each other and have promised to have a relationship with each other without involving the external parties. On the other hand, an affair is the relationship between two people outside wedlock. Chinua Achebe is therefore being ironical by terming the term marriage as a private affair. According to the story, marriage was not someone’s decision in the traditional way of life. Parents were responsible for deciding for their children whom to marry. The relationship between the involved parties was not private. The society or the elders agreed according to their customs to unite two individuals as a husband and a wife. In the contrary, the new generation accepts individuals to have an affair with their own choice spouses and engage. Many people view marriage in different perspectives, in the present times, people learn about different cultures and freedoms. Many cultures arranged marriages in the past. The past is fading off in the present days. This is presented ironically by the fierce weather that made Okeke to sympathize with his grandchildren and accept them. The rain that rained in torrents was the first rain of the year. It symbolized that as years pass by, changes occur and therefore we should not restrain our past. We should change with the change.  For instance, at the moment marriage depends on an individual’s choice. This change causes conflict between the old generation and the young generations within families as well as culture groups. The view about marriage is therefore considered as either choice or tradition. Even though Nnaemeka grew up in the society where tradition played an important role, he was dedicated to his choice. According to their tradition, he was expected to strictly follow their traditional way of life that was led by his ancestors. Due to the fact that change cannot be controlled, Nnaemeka ignored the tradition and married the woman of his dreams. The author illustrates in this part that people should always accept change because failure to do so, may lead to separation of the family members. The book was set in the society where others were still rooted in the tradition while others were being civilized. The author used this setting in order to illustrate on the irony brought out in the topic as marriage is a private affair. The story mainly describes the differences and similarities between the tradition and the modern world. This makes the ironical issue. The traditionalists expect to choose for their children marriage partners while in the new generation marriage is an agreement between two individuals who had an affair before deciding to marry. In this case, the lovers had met and have a relationship that can lead to marriage. In the contrary, in the traditional marriage, one meets someone that he has never met before. The two take a lot of time before knowing each other. In addition, they force themselves to love their partners in order to please their parents and society, and then they marry without having a relationship. The author is therefore illustrating that a happy marriage is one that the partners had met before and had an affair before marriage. Read More