A Need of Having a Difficult Conversation - Assignment Example

Reflective Report Course Professor’s Name Name of the Institution Date TABLE OF CONTENTS TABLE OF CONTENTS 2 1. Introduction 3 1.1 Purpose 3 1.2 Scope 3 1.3 Methodology 3 1.4 Limitations 3 2. Context 4 2.1 Jung Typology Test (humanmetrics 2016) 4 2.2 Emotional Intelligence (maetrix 2004) 5 2.3 Interpersonal communication skills (queendom 2016) 5 2.4 Conflict Resolution 5 3. The Impact of my Behaviour 6 3.1 Difficult Conversations 6 3.2 Providing Effective Feedback 10 4. Conclusion 11 4.1 Difficult Conversations 11 4.2 Providing Effective feedback 12 5. Recommendations 12 5.1 Practise Communication Skills 12 5.2 Prior Planning 12 5.3 Coaching 13 Reference 14 1. Introduction 1.1 Purpose The main purpose of this assignment is to demonstrate how my behaviours impact on my approach to management. This paper will show that i am aware of my behaviour and the relevance of that knowledge to management. It will also demonstrate my understanding of management roles in relation to working with and supervision others. This paper will provide a basis for practical and theoretical advances in understanding as well as managing difficult conversations. It will be useful in making comparisons with previous research results on the same topic and thereby making necessary recommendations to ensure effective management. 1.2 Scope This report specifically focuses on having difficult conversations and on how to give effective feedback. It does not cover the other aspect of management. 1.3 Methodology The report in this paper results from content knowledge gained throughout the unit, observation on how organizational leaders run their firms and literature review from different texts as well as reviews on journals focusing on the same topic. 1.4 Limitations The major limitation of this reflective report is that it is purely based on academic knowledge and observation and not from personal experience. 2. Context Results of online personality tests 2.1 Jung Typology Test (humanmetrics 2016) First completed at the beginning of the semester Result: ESFP Extravert (9%)  Sensing (22%)  Feeling (22%)  Perceiving (22%) I have slight preference of extraversion over Introversion (9%) I have slight preference of Sensing over Intuition (22%) I have slight preference of Feeling over Thinking (22%) I have slight preference of Perceiving over Judging over (22%) Second test completed at the end of the semester Result: ESTP or ESFP Extravert (44%)  Sensing (56 %)  Thinking (1%)  Perceiving (41%) I have more preference of Extraversion over Introversion (44%) I have distinct preference of Sensing over intuition (56%) I have marginal or no preference of Thinking over Feeling (1%) I have more preference of perceiving over Judging over (41%) From the results, there is a significant difference between the results of the beginning of the semester and the end of the semester results. In my opinion, the end of semester results captures my personality best. 2.2 Emotional Intelligence (maetrix 2004) Self-Awareness Self-Management Social-Awareness Relationship Management 8 4 6 2 The results of my emotional intelligence test indicates that am able to read and understand my emotions, weaknesses and strength as well as that of others. To a small extend, I am able to control my emotions, however, I am empathetic to others. The results also showed my weakness in terms of supervising groups, managing conflicts and not being able to promote cooperation. To a large extend, this test results is a true reflection of my personality as I am more inclined in working out problems individually as opposed to dealing with a large group. 2.3 Interpersonal communication skills (queendom 2016) The result showed 68% and indicates that I am fairly adept at interpretation of people’s perspective, actions and words. I am aware of empathy being an important part of interpersonal communication and thus to a great extend I am able to adjust my behaviour when the other party seems uncomfortable. 2.4 Conflict Resolution From the questionnaire results, my conflict resolution style would be described as accommodating. In this style of conflict resolution, one cooperates to a high-extend, even at their own expense. The fact that the test results showed that I am able to adjust my behaviour when the other party seems uncomfortable, shows that I actually can accommodate others. The fact that i am aware of empathy being an important part of interpersonal communication also shows that I can cooperate to a high extend and I can even work against my own objectives, goals, and desires. I therefore need to understand that this approach is best when the people you are in conflict with are either experts or they have a better solution. It is paramount for me to be flexible so as to use other conflict resolution styles in different circumstances. 3. The Impact of my Behaviour 3.1 Difficult Conversations Difficult conversations are definitely inevitable part of management; therefore, preparing for these conversations is very important. Difficult conversations may take different forms and may be related to the manager breaking bad news, giving of feedback, reviewing performance, talking about change in the organisation, conversation on termination of duties, conflict management amongst others. Those participating in such conversations normally anticipate being uncomfortable thus; as a result, conversations are often delayed, or even avoided altogether. This phenomenon is known as the “mum” effect (Tesser & Rosen 1975, p. 193-232). My behaviour as a manager hence heavily impacts how I handle difficult conversations. If for instance I am a self-sufficient person, I would then reach out to the parties that are trying to delay or avoid communication. In such cases where participants try to avoid communication, eventually when the conversation takes place; it is poorly executed leading to having a wide range of very adverse effect on the worker as well as the organization (Geddes & Baron 1997, 433-454). Figure 1 shows an example of how a difficult conversation looks like. Figure 1: Source: Allison Rimm, “To Guide Difficult Conversations, Try Using Compassion”, Knowledge Work The reason why difficult conversation is often difficult is because it involves many negative and painful feelings. These could include anxiety, anger, frustrations, hurt, pain, etc. Most of the times, either one or both of the participants in a difficult conversation one or both of the people involved in a difficult conversation normally feel their acceptance and self-worth is infringed on, thereby creating emotional questions on their mind that can easily interfere with their ability to see a situation neutrally. Therefore, as a manager, I have to be emotionally stable in order to achieve a positive outcome from a difficult conversation. An example could be in a situation where as a manager am involved in a conversation on termination of duties of an employee. After breaking this news to the employee, the employee ends up getting emotional, a good manager must remain emotionally stable and not flow with the emotion of the employee. From the Emotional Intelligence (maetrix 2004) test results, I am able to understand both my emotions and the emotion of others therefore this will impact positively as I handle the mentioned conflict. According to Stone et al (2010), a difficult conversation begins with four voices (Figure 2). Two of the voices belong to what the participants speak and two others belong to what the participant thinks. Two represent voices that each person speaks and the other two being ones that each person thinks. I will give an example of a conversation between a high school student and a teacher. The teacher says, “How are you going on with the assignment?” while their internal voice says, “Why can’t you work harder and faster?” On the same note, the student’s speaking voice says, “It is going on very fine” while their internal voice says, “You give too much assignment. You are not a good teacher!” As both individuals try to hide their real voices, over a certain period of time, the true inner voices start to surface in every conversation between the two and one day they definitely will find themselves in a difficult conversation escalating to heated arguments. As a good manager therefore I must adopt straightforwardness as opposed to being shrewd and untruthful, in the example of the teacher and the student, if the teacher whom in this case is the manager, is straightforward in the conversation then it would impact on how that teacher/manager handle the difficult conversations when it comes. I believe that I am an honest person and hold myself in high integrity; this is supported by the Emotional Intelligence (maetrix 2004) test results. Therefore I would be able to fight the inner voice and remain honest during difficult conversations. Figure 2 Source: Sarah Green, “Difficult Conversations: 9 Common Mistakes”, HBR Conflicts are the most difficult conversations at workplace so people go to great lengths inorder to avoid conflict or the cause. A study done by Psychometrics Canada Ltd. shows 32% of employees deal with conflict daily. Another study conducted by CPP Inc. (2008, p. 3-4) shows that employees at the US spend 2.8 hours a week dealing with conflict. 33% of employees report that conflict led to personal attacks and injury, and 22% report that conflict led to absence from work and illness. 10% report that project failure was a result of conflict. A recent study done by Accenture revealed that no matter how bad or good the economy is, about 35% of employees voluntarily leave their jobs voluntarily courtesy of conflicts (Forbes Magazine 2013, p. 13). The manager needs to know that conflicts are the most difficult conversations; this is because it is the role of the manager to solve conflicts within the organization. As a manager, my behaviour affects how I handle conflicts based difficult conversation. I may describe myself as a relaxed and a very calm person, traits that are very vital in handling conflicts when supervising others. What if I was a tense person trying to solve conflicts between people is supervising? The result would be an escalation of the conflict is trying to solve. Therefore, there is need for the manager to have calmness and the ability to stand tension. As a person though, I think I need to equip myself with strategies for conflict management because it is not just about being calm and relaxed. According to Ross et al., (2013, p, 17-19), usually we are equipped with logic and common sense to handle difficult conversation. Yet in a heated discussion, we may knowingly or even unknowingly make mistakes that fuel the difficulty of mending the conversation. It is the role of a good manager as they supervise or work with others, therefore to be aware of some of the mistakes people commonly make in difficult conversation and hence be sensitive enough to avoid them. A few of such mistakes includes: having the mentality of confrontation, oversimplifying the problem, disrespect and lashing out at others amongst other mistakes. If as a manager my level of intelligence is high then there are high chances that my approach to management will be positive as I understand the mentioned mistakes and I am able to avoid them. 3.2 Providing Effective Feedback The feedback of the supervisor has a high potential to adversely have an impact on organizational outcomes. This is a key managerial concern. However, research indicates that a significant number of managers find it not easy to give feedback to people they are working with. (Learning Consultancy Partnership 2012, p. 10). As a supervisor, my behaviour affects the way i give feedback. I should be able to present feedback in a specific and tentative manner and offer the people am supervising a chance to voice mitigating circumstances. I should also always listen to the responses they are giving and listen in an active manner. It is my personality that will affect how I give feedback. I am an empathetic, I am able to put myself in other people’s shoes (Figure 3) and therefore the type of feedback I will give will always give room to my junior’s feelings and thoughts. Figure 3 source: Calvin and Hobbes 4. Conclusion 4.1 Difficult Conversations In summary, everyone has the inner voice telling us when there is need of having a difficult conversation. If this difficult conversation is allowed to take place, there would be an improvement of life at the organization for the supervisor, the people we are supervising as well as the organization in general. Sadly, fear often drowns the inner voice and we take the easy option, putting the conversation off. When we put the conversation off, the offending person continues to perform in a substandard manner, missing deadlines, engaging in interpersonal conflicts and also exhibit very toxic behaviour. Thus the consequences of not having the uncomfortable conversation are definitely gross. As a manager, I have learnt that we need not avoid the difficult conversations rather; we need to face them head on. Handling this difficult conversation requires empathy, courage and practice. The more you face these conversations squarely, the more adept you become. 4.2 Providing Effective feedback My behaviour impacts heavily on my approach to giving feedback. How I give feedback depends on my personality. As an extrovert, I will likely involve those whom I am supervising and have a discussion with them during difficult conversation as opposed to a supervisor who is introverted; such a person makes a decision without involving their juniors. For these reasons, my conclusion is that there is need for managers to involve their subordinates in difficult conversations as the best approach to giving feedback. 5. Recommendations 5.1 Practise Communication Skills There is need for individuals within an organization to possess as well as practice superior communication skills. Findings from this report underscore need for interventions that will facilitate conducting of difficult conversations and suggests content to be included in such training. 5.2 Prior Planning One cannot write down what they are going to say in a difficult conversation; however one can plan and write down the key points before the difficult conversation. The plan must be flexible and include the per-empted possible responses. The language used should be simple, direct, clear and neutral. 5.3 Coaching I would also like to recommend coaching by people who are experts in communication and people who are experts specifically in handling difficult conversation. There is need for organizations to bring in experts from time to time to coach the leaders as well as those they are supervising on the principles of holding a difficult conversation. Reference CPP Inc. 2008, ‘New Study Details Both Crippling and Beneficial Effects of Workplace Conflict on Businesses’. Pp. 3-4 Forbes Magazine 2013, ‘I’m Outta Here! Why 2 million Americans Quit Every Month’. Pp. 13. November Geddes, D & Baron, R 1997, ‘Workplace aggression as a consequence of negative Performance feedback.’ 10 Pp. 433-454. Management Communication Quarterly. Learning Consultancy Partnership 2012, ‘Handling Difficult Conversations at Work – Survey Results and Guide’. Pp. 10. February. Ross, A, Calhoun, K and Dewey, N 2013, ‘The Elephant in the Office: Super-Simple Strategies for Difficult Conversations at Work (Elephant Conversations)’. Pp. 17-19. (ASIN: B00CR38VQ8), May. Stone, D, Patton, B and Heen, S 2010, ‘Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most’. Pp. 6, (ISBN-139780143118442) (ISBN-100143118) Tesser, A & Rosen, S 1975, ‘The reluctance to transmit bad news. In L. Berkowitz (Ed.), Advances in experimental social psychology’ Vol. 8, Pp. 193–232. New York, NY Academic Press Read More