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This report "Analysis of Sexual Desire" discusses the nature of men and women that differ in several respects and sexuality is one such ground where the difference is conspicuous. Scientists and psychologists argued that women were no different from men in sexuality…
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The nature of men and women differ in several respects and sexuality is one such ground where the difference is conspicuous. Scientists and psychologists argued that women were no different from men in sexuality. Some even stated that the response cycle could vary in both men and women in the same scale. Nevertheless, scientific research shows that there are four major gender differences in sexuality – men have greater sexual desire than women do, women have a stronger commitment in a relationship, men tend to be more aggressive than do women are and women’s sexuality can change over time.
Sexual desire
It is a subjective experience of engaging or wishing to engage in sexual activities. Men are more interested in sexual activities than women are. They think and fantasize more often about sexual activities; their desires are much higher than women’s. Men continue to engage in sexual act for a longer period in life than women do. Men use many visual sexual stimuli and even spend on things like x-rated movies and visits to prostitutes. In nutshell, men want to have sex more often than women want and the frequency of the actual act merely reflects a compromise between the desires of men and women.
As masturbation requires no partner, this is one of the parameters which confirms that men desire sex oftener than women do. Men start masturbating early and do it more often than do women. Studies of homosexuals’ desire for sex further confirms that women desire sex less often than do men. Gay men and heterosexuals indulge in the sexual act more often than lesbians do. Women can abstain from sex for religious reasons and if required to maintain vows of celibacy.
Sexuality and relationships
The second difference rests in the way that men women perceive the actual act. Men would describe the physical sensations and pleasures experienced while women are carried away by the emotions involved. Men have more permissive attitude towards casual pre-marital and extra-marital sex. Women too fantasize sex but it is always with a familiar partner and full of affection and committed to one. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to fantasize sex with multiple partners, strangers, or anonymous partners. Their concentration is on particular sexual act or specific organs while women tend to concentrate on the partner as a whole.
Amongst the homosexuals, the lesbians tend to have a less permissive attitude than the gay partners do. The fantasies too are similar to women as far as the lesbians are concerned. Gay partners can have stray relationships apart from their primary partners thereby confirming the permissive attitude of men towards sex. Intimacy and committed relationship is what women desire in contrast to the sexual importance given by men.
Sexuality and aggression
Association between sexuality and aggression is amply demonstrated by men through their self-concepts. Both sexes evaluate themselves as romantic depending upon the passions they feel during the act. Men see themselves as being aggressive, powerful, experienced, domineering, and individualistic in a sexual relationship. During the courtship, men are very tender and affectionate, but as the relationship continues, men are more inclined towards sex. While women may initiate sex at times but the frequency of such occasions are very few.
Women are known to lure men and use different strategies but never physical force or violence as men do. Coercive sex is primarily a male activity. Sexual assaults are always inflicted my men, and rarely ever heard of from women.
Sexual plasticity
Women tend to change their sexual orientation over time. Society, culture, religion, education, and the situational factors influence women’s attitude and behaviour towards sex. Women can share sexual relationship only when there is mental intimacy. If there is a break in their relationship she just cannot have sex with that person or even indulge in masturbation but men invariably resort to masturbation.
This research has limitations because it is based on white middle-class Americans. The database on homosexuals is relatively small for comparison. The differences are hence not absolute but merely a matter of degree. The differences described are general and there are many exceptions. Men express the sexual desires while women remain introverts; women are more compliant in the act even when they do not desire for it at that moment. They feel it is a way of expressing their love for the partner. Compliance further illustrates the plasticity in women. Some researchers feel the necessity to study the difference between sexual desire and the capacity to become sexually aroused. Women’s desires depend on the menstrual cycle and the impact of hormones.
This article highlights the differences in men and women but does not give importance to the reasons behind it. Biologically, sexual relationship and the act is a necessity for both sexes. The sexual act normally culminates in orgasm, which gives relief and contentment. It is a release of pent-up emotions and tensions. Women release their tensions and emotions either through tears or through menstruation; men seldom weep. The only avenue for men to release their tensions is sex. This is a prime reason why men desire sex more often than women do.
Women need intimacy, affection, tender love, caressing before the act. This leads to sexual arousal for a woman while men require playing with the sexual organs to be aroused. Men are aggressive by nature, not just in sexual relationship but in general. Their male ego needs pampering. Aggressive attitude during the sexual act confirms the male ego that he is superior to the weaker sex.
While men may turn towards prostitutes for sex, women will seldom indulge in such act primarily because they value sexual intimacy and they strongly believe that it can be shared with just one person. Men too believe that intimacy can be shared only with one person. Their act to turn to prostitutes is an act of lust and not a biological need. Biological need can be satisfied through masturbation. Men are also known to be less inhibited than women and express their desire and pleasure during the act; women tend to hide the fact that they enjoy the act.
Sexual act resolves the differences between partners which may have existed before the act. After the act, their relationship deepens and they are able to understand each other better. When the emotions are released, the vision is clear. This can happen only between two people who are otherwise intimate but had difference of opinion on a particular subject. What it implies is that sexual act brings two people closer. Thus, it is a physical expression of their mental togetherness, mental oneness.
At the same time, two people can indulge in sexual act only when they are mentally close; without mental intimacy it is nothing but a lustful act. The desires may differ but an understanding of each other’s desire makes the relationship comfortable. Both will then be willing to comply with the other’s moods and requirements. This is how man has been made by nature.
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