Dynamics of Stepfamilies - Assignment Example

Dynamics of stepfamilies: Dynamics of stepfamilies The topic of the program is “Dynamics of Step Families.” It focuses on the structure of blended families and the problems faced in such family settings. In addition, the paper covers solutions to these problems and tips that help blended families grow stronger. The program based on the step family, targets members of such families. These include parents, stepparents, stepchildren and stepsiblings. The workshop is a one-day program held at the community centre. The workshop targets a group size of around 200 hundred people from the members of the blended families. During the workshop, fliers come into play as handouts present a summary of the information to participants. In addition, visual aids employed assist the teaching process. Exercises and demonstrations allow the participants of the program to rehearse some techniques taught in the program on how members of the stepfamily ought to treat each other. The workshop’s lesson plan involves an introduction to the step family structure. Following the introduction, the program outlines challenges facing the system of blended families and offers various solutions. In addition, the workshop highlights various ways of enhancing peace and growth of a blended family. The inspiration of this program is the various problems facing stepfamilies and the need to assist such families within the community. The program’s conclusion comes after a day of analyzing the various problems facing stepfamilies. The program hopes to see such family members interact and get a platform to share their views openly. In addition, it targets to equip them with skill to co-exist together and most importantly adapt to the new family setting. HANDOUT Dynamics of Step Families Introduction A stepfamily, also referred to as a blended family, is one in which one or both adults in the relationship bring with them children from a past relationship. Stepfamilies range from simple to complex. Challenges facing stepfamilies 1. Conflicted Loyalties 2. Children’s adjustment to the family setting 3. A child having two households 4. Children’s resistance to a new step parent 5. Varying traditions with the two units in a step family 6. Conflicting parenting styles among parents in a step family Ways to minimize conflict in a stepfamily: 1. Allow children time to adjust to the new family 2. Show affection to all children, including the step children 3. Enhance respect among all members of the household 4. Let the step parent shy away from performing major disciplinary roles 5. Compromise with the parenting style of the other parent to create common ground 6. Adjust family traditions to fit all members of the step family 7. Allow children a chance to speak up without facing judgment 8. Spend key time with members of the family so as to know each other Conclusion With patience, respect and love, members of stepfamilies ought not to live in trouble. Instead, the family experiences love, peace and all members grow equally close. This only happens if each member gets to voice his or her issues without facing judgment. Dynamics of stepfamilies A family is a social unit that aggregates people related to each other through blood, marriage and or adoption. Family systems are diverse due to the different compositions of family units in today’s society. Among these systems exists the stepfamily setting. A stepfamily is a unit of related people whereby either one or both the adults in the new marriage or relationship brings into the family their children from a former relationship. (Gina, Jeanne & Lawrence, 2013) A simple stepfamily only involves one member of the couple having pre-existing children. However, according to Papernow, complex stepfamilies involve both adults in the relationship having pre-existing children whom they bring into the relationship and wind up having other children together. Stepfamilies face common challenges unique to their family setting. (Papernow, 1998) These problems require addressing with the intent to ensure the comfort of children in such families. Evidently, the first problem in the step family setting is that of children having conflicted royalties between the biological parent and the stepparent (Papernow, 2011). When a child moves into a family with for example a stepfather, they at times feel the loss of their biological father. To some extent, it feels like the stepfather is a replacement to their father. This in turn creates conflicting loyalties whereby, a child fails to like the stepfather as they feel that they ought to choose between him and the real father. On the other hand, children who have a liking for their stepparent feel as if that is an act of betrayal to the actual parent. This problem deserves attention. The parents ought to teach the children that the stepparent is not a replacement of the biological parent. Therefore, the child earns a chance to develop a relationship with each parent without feeling the guilt of choosing one over the other. Children in stepfamilies on many occasions experience the trouble of having two households. While living with one parent and a stepparent, most children have their other biological parent who might also be married to another person. This results in four parents and two households. Many children develop a preference of one household over the other, especially due to economic and lifestyle differences (Ricci, 1997). They prefer at times living with the richer set of parents as compared to the other team. While such preferences are at times unavoidable, children ought to learn from a young age that each household is different and they must appreciate such differences. In case of conflicting rules in the households, parents ought discuss those issues and create some uniformity purposed to create a consistent environment for the children. Additionally, stepparents face a challenge when it comes to matters of disciplining a stepchild. While stepparents sometimes feel the urge to discipline a stepchild just like a child of their own, this act sometimes faces resistance from the stepchild. Many times, the act of punishment comes across as a dislike towards the stepchild. In addition, stepchildren feel that a stepparent holds no disciplinary right over them. To tackle this situation, a stepparent ought to avoid taking the full parental role, especially during the early days of the family’s existence (Bray & Kelly, 1999). Instead, they ought to point out issues about the child to the biological parent or make suggestions about the same. All through, they assist in disciplining the child without causing harm to the child. Different parenting styles between parents in a stepfamily usually cause disharmony. Cases crop up where one parent is strict while another one applies negotiation while dealing with children. Different parenting techniques at times cause trouble, as children lack a consistency. Parents also frequently argue because none agrees with the other’s style. This problem ought to receive significant attention before getting into a stepfamily. There, before two parents marry, they ought to discuss the modes of parenting and find a middle ground. In accordance to blended families, parents ought to adjust their individual styles to compromise with the differing style of their spouse (2013). These changes ought to take place before the formation of the stepfamily. This way, children adjust to new parenting skills before joining the new family structure. Furthermore, stepfamilies encounter trouble with family traditions. Different families practice different traditions during public holidays, weekends and festive seasons. In addition, many families follow different routines in activities such as work sharing and television watching. Children joining a stepfamily usually resist changing their routines and traditions. In addition, they find it difficult to follow another tradition as most have an attachment to their own methods and systems. Parents ought to compromise and find suited activities for the new blended family. In addition, they ought to wait patiently for children to adapt to the new system. Other than the problems existing in blended families, member ought to take into consideration the following details to make a loving and strong family out of a blended family. Most importantly, children adjust differently to step families depending on their age and gender. This means that children below ten adjust quicker as most of their life depends on parental life. Children between ten to fourteen years experience most difficulties as they are resistant to change while children about fifteen develop little interaction with family life. However, stepparents ought to show affection to all children despite their speed of adjusting to the situation (McBride, 2008). It takes different times for the children to accept the situation, but that should not prevent a step parent from showing affection to a child. Moreover, members of a stepfamily require proper communication in order to grow close. Each member of the family deserves listening to without facing judgment. Notably, parents are responsible for creating an environment where respect reins among members (Lyness, 2010). Emphasis on kindness and fairness among family members plays a vital role in ensuring that there is peaceful coexistence in the household. Nevertheless, another crucial trait in stepfamilies is the positive handling of conflict. With the emergence of arguments and fights, parents ought to handle such situations devoid of bias. In conclusion, a blended family is a beautiful family setting in the family system. Although many blended families come into existence after incidences of divorce or breakage of nuclear families, the role they play cannot be underestimated. Relevantly, stepfamilies allow children to enjoy two sets of parents. In addition, each child enjoys the company of more siblings. While these families have trouble in issues such as adjustment, if members treat each other respectfully and with kindness, a great family emerges. Therefore, parents ought to treat children in such families with patience and love as they allow them to adjust to the new situation. References Blended Families. (2013). Preparing to Form Healthy Step Families before the Wedding, I do! Take Two Bray J., & Kelly J., (1999) Stepfamilies: Love, Marriage and Parenting in the First Decade Fogarty, K., & Ferrer, M. (2006). Couples Considering a Blended Family, University of Florida IFAS Extension Kemp, G., Seagal, J., & Robinson, L. (2013). Guide to Step Parenting and Blended Famillies: How to Bond with Step Children and Deal with Step Family Issues Lyness, D. (2010). Living with Step Parents, Kids Health McBride, J. A. (2008). Get to Know Your Step kids, National Stepfamily Resource Centre Papernow, P. L. (2011). Stepfamilies, American Association for Family and Marriage Therapy Papernow P. L. (1998). Becoming a Step Family: Patterns of Development in Remarried Families Ricci, I. (1997). Mom’s House, Dad’s House: Making Two Homes for Your Child Read More