The Anatomy of Romance - Book Report/Review Example

 Introduction The word “romance” is usually associated with feelings of love between two individuals, most of the time, a male and a female. The strong emotions elicited by this experience have inspired people to do things out of the ordinary, such as an artist coming up with a masterpiece. A multitude of literary work, songs, movies, and other creations have been produced with romance as the main inspiration for the piece. The experience of “falling in love” is usually a prelude to establishing a romantic relationship that may lead to marriage and then ultimately, the formation of a new family. Its reputation as a source of positive feelings is a motivator for people to come together to attempt a relationship as a couple. The concept of romance is inherently fascinating as it touches on various aspects of human development and psychology. Being so, numerous studies have been undertaken to demystify and understand this phenomenon. This exploratory study shall attempt to answer relatively basic and then and more complex questions pertaining to the dynamics of human romantic relationships, specifically that of heterosexual relationships – how it begins; its effects on the romantic couple; how the involved individuals perceive themselves and their partners and how romance is sustained. It shall gather information from available literature and from interviews of successful couples who has sustained their romantic relationships over time. Statement Of The Research Problem Although much information has already been derived from research, there is still an inexhaustible interest in learning more about human romantic relationships. From the concepts gleaned from existing literature, the research problem for this paper is stated as thus: “What are the common preferences in searching for a partner in a romantic relationship and how do couples deepen and sustain the relationship?” The study will explore the following research questions: What are the physical/ physiological effects of being in love? What factors affect an individual’s preference or choice for a romantic partner? What are the psycho-emotional symptoms manifested at the onset of a romance? How do people in romantic relationships see themselves/ their object of romantic feelings? How do romantic relationships begin and develop? What changes occur as the romance progresses into a deeper commitment? How do couples sustain the romance in their relationship? The findings of this research will benefit people who are currently involved in romantic relationships and gain insights from this academic work to help make their relationships as successful as those of the interviewees in the study. Definition Of Key Terms The following constructs are the base understanding of the researcher. It is one goal of this paper to gain more clarification of these constructs as culled from research and information from the interviews and questionnaires. Dating- the coming together of two people to spend time with one another for the purpose of getting to know each other and to gauge if a relationship might possibly develop from the time spent one-on-one with each other. Dating is part of romance. Romantic Relationship – A relationship involving two people attracted to each other and bonded by love, intimacy and commitment. Each partner does things for the other to make him or her more attracted and amorous to each other and to deepen the relationship further. Intimacy -This study will adopt Moss and Schwebel’s (1993) definition of intimacy: “Intimacy in enduring romantic relationships is determined by the level of commitment and positive affective, cognitive and physical closeness one experiences with a partner in a reciprocal (although not necessarily symmetrical) relationship”. (Moss & Schwebel, 1993, p. 33) Romantic preference- these are the qualities one looks for in a prospective mate. This is dictated by one’s personality. Sustaining Romance – this is the process of how couples maintain a good quality of romantic relationship over time, overcoming petty trials and major challenges to the strength of their relationship. Brief Review Of The Literature Romance elicits a whole gamut of emotions with varying intensities. An individual in love would experience elation when the romance is at its peak and devastation when the romance ends. He also perceives himself differently at different times during the romantic episode. Initially, a person may feel insecure when pursuing the object of his affection, being unsure of how the other feels about him. When he successfully gains the affection of his romantic partner, confidence level is restored or even increased. Sekides, Oliver & Campbell (1994) reported that increased self-esteem is a benefit of romantic relationships. There is also evidence that individuals idealize their romantic partners and that such idealization is related to relationship satisfaction (Murray et al, 1996). The more a romantic partner approximates the qualities of an ideal love partner and the more the relationship turns into the kind of love relationship one hopes for, the happier the individual becomes. Levine, Aune & Park (2006) claim that the preferences people possess for certain characteristics in romantic partners guide them in their choices in initiating and intensifying a romantic relationship. Factors such as proximity, similarity, physical attractiveness, complementarity, possession of resources and quality of communication are widely accepted as antecedents of attraction (Levine, Aune & Park, 2006). Cross-cultural evidence also proves that men tend to place more value on physical attractiveness while women seek earning potential and possession of resources as valuable traits of potential romantic partners. (Buss et al, 1990) A romance begins with flirtation, and is initiated by verbal contact. Opening lines may be direct as in self-introductions, explicit statements of attraction or unambiguous bids for joint activities. They may also be innocuous such as cute-flippant, glib statements that attempt to appear creative or humorous. When the attracted individuals have initiated contact and decide to pursue the romance a number of available options may be chosen to intensify it, predominantly, increased contact. Other strategies include “relational negotiation and social support and assistance. Less frequently reported strategies included increased rewards, direct definitional bid, tokens of affection, personalized communication, verbal expressions of affection, suggestive actions, nonverbal expressions of affection, social enmeshment, enhancement of personal appearance, sexual intimacy, and behavioral adaptation” (Tolhuizen, 1989 as cited in Levine, Aune & Park, 2006). This study also hypothesizes that couples who have a more committed romantic relationship face more responsibilities together instead of merely focusing on each other. Research indicates that as the relationship gets more settled, couples need to be creative in sustaining the romance. As they learn more about each other, they find ways to please the other to express their love and affection. It may be creating little surprises in the mundane or supporting each other in significant moments in life. Being sensitive to one another’s needs as well as healthy communication and spontaneity are keys to sustaining romance (Crosby, 2000) Methodology This research will make use of quantitative methodology involving case studies of successful couples in romantic relationships. Criteria for choice of interview respondents for the case studies are length, and depth of their relationship that may have landed in marriage or a long-term committed partnership. Search for participants will be commenced in church communities, which are likely places where romantic couples have stayed strong in their commitment to each other, following the advocacies of their church. Winter (2000) argues that with qualitative research, there may be no hypothesis or standardized or accepted tests involved. The ‘validity’ resides with the representation of the participants in the study, the purposes of the research and the appropriateness of the processes involved. Butt (1992) defines qualitative validity simply as the congruence of our research claims to reality. “In the case of the human sciences it is the congruence of our text of understanding with the lived reality of persons (Eisner & Peshkin, 1990 pp. 97-98). This means that validity would depend on how well we represent the perceptions, feelings, thinking, experience of persons, the breadth, depth and interrelations of issues, concerns and themes (Butt, 1992). This particular research will adhere to Heron’s (1988) more formal view of validity in human research which is the coherence of knowledge derived from research to the experiential knowledge of the participants and its coherence to the practical knowledge of how one acts in specific situations and contexts. Bowen’s (2005) analysis of interview transcripts identified patterns in the data by means of thematic codes. Patton (1980) explains “Inductive analysis means that the patterns, themes, and categories of analysis come from the data; they emerge out of the data rather than being imposed on them prior to data collection and analysis” (p. 306). Bowen’s analysis of data entailed studying the patterns that emerge, making logical associations with the interview questions and reference to the review of literature. He details the process of deriving his research findings as thus: “At successive stages, themes moved from a low level of abstraction to become major, overarching themes rooted in the concrete evidence provided by the data. These emerging themes together with a substantive-formal theory of “development-focused collaboration” became the major findings of my study.” This research will adopt the same analysis. References Assad, K. K., Donnellan, M.B. & Conger, R.D., (2007) “Optimism: An Enduring Resource for Romantic Relationships”, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 93, No. 2, 285–297 Bowen, G.A. (2005) “Preparing a Qualitative Research-Based Dissertation: Lessons Learned”, The Qualitative Report Volume 10 Number 2 June 2005 208-222 http://www.nova.edu/ssss/QR/QR10-2/bowen.pdf Butt, R. (1992) On Being Personal About the Collective. A paper presented at A.E.R.A., San Francisco, April 20-24, 1992. Chrzanowski, G.(1981), “The Genesis and Nature of Self-Esteem”, American Journal of Psychotherapy, Vol 35, No. 1 Cone, J.D. (1998) Dissertations and Theses from Start to Finish: Psychology and Related Fields, American Psychological Association Conger, R.D., Cui, M., Bryant, C.M. & Elder, Jr., G.H. (2000) “Competence in Early Adult Romantic Relationships: A Developmental Perspective on Family Influences”, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 2000, Vol. 79, No. 2, 224-237 Coopersmith, S. (1967) The Antecedents of Self-Esteem, San Francisco: Freeman Cozby, P.C. (2007) Methods in Behavioral Research, 9th edition, McGraw Hill Cramer, D. & Donachie, M., (1999) “Psychological Health and Change in Closeness in Platonic & Romantic Relationships”, The Journal of Social Psychology, Vol. 139, No. 6, pp. 762-767 Cronbach, L. J., & Meehl, P. E. (1955). Construct validity in psychological tests. Psychological Bulletin, 52, 281-302. Crosby, C. (2000) “Some Enchanted Evening”, Marriage Partnership, Fall2000, Vol. 17, Issue 3 Eisner, E.W. & Peshkin (Eds.) (1990) Qualitative Inquiry in Educaation. New York, N.Y.: Teachers College Press. Feiring, C. (1996) “Concepts of Romance in 15-Year-Old Adolescents”, Journal Of Research On Adolescence, 6(2), 181-200 Fisher, H. (2004) Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love. New Giordano, P. C. , Longmore, M.A. & Manning, W.D. (2006) “Gender and the Meanings of Adolescent Romantic Relationships: A Focus on Boys”, American Sociological Review, 2006, VOL. 71 Green, J.D., Campbell, W.K., Davis, J.L. (2007) “Ghosts From the Past: An Examination of Romantic Relationships and Self-Discrepancy”, The Journal of Social Psychology, 2007, 147(3), 243–264 Heiman, G.W. (2002), Research Methods in Psychology, Third edition, Houghton Mifflin Co. Heron, J (1988) Validity in Cooperative Inquiry. In P. Reason (Ed). Human Inquiry in Action. (pp. 40-59) Kahn, J. (2004), “A Matter of Chemistry”, Health, October, 2004 Leone, C. and Hawkins, L.B.,(2006) “Self-Monitoring and Close Relationships”, Journal of Personality 74:3 Levine, T.R., Aune, K. S. & Park, H.S., (2006) “Love Styles and Communication In Relationships: Partner Preferences, Initiation, and Intensification”, Communication Quarterly Vol. 54, No. 4, November 2006, pp. 465–486 Lincoln, Y. & Guba, E. (1985) Naturalistic Inquiry. Beverly Hills, CA: Sage. LIS 391D.1 (1997) The Case Study as a Research Method Uses and Users of Information Mathes, E.W., Adams, H.E. & Davies, R.M. (1985) “Jealousy: Loss of Relationship Rewards, Loss of Self-Esteem, Depression, Anxiety and Anger”, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 48, No. 6 Moss, B.F., & Schwebel, A.I., (2001) “Defining Intimacy in Romantic Relationships”, Family Relations, 1993, 42, 31-37. Padgett, D. K. (Ed.). (2004). The qualitative research experience. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth/Thomson Learning. Patton, M. Q. (1980). Qualitative evaluation methods. Beverly Hills, CA: Sage. Qualitative Validity (n.d.) Retrieved on August 30, 2008 from http://www.socialresearchmethods.net/kb/qualval.php Sakalli-Ugurlu, N., (2003) “How Do Romantic Relationship Satisfaction, Gender Stereotypes and Gender Relate to Future Time Orientation in Romantic Relationships?”, The Journal of Psychology, 137(3), 294- 303 Sedikides, C., Oliver, M. B., & Campbell, W. K. (1994). Perceived benefits and costs of romantic relationships for women and men: Implications for exchange theory. Personal Relationships, 1, 5–21. Tolhuizen, J. H. (1989). Communication strategies for intensifying dating relationships: Identification, use and structure. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 6, 413–434. Wainer, H., & Braun, H. I. (1988). Test validity. Hilldale, NJ: Lawrence Earlbaum Associates. Watkins, D. (1978) “The Development and Evaluation of Self-Esteem Measuring Instruments, Journal of Personality Assessment, Vol. 42, No. 2 Winter, G. (2000) “A Comparative Discussion of the Notion of 'Validity' in Qualitative and Quantitative Research”, The Qualitative Report, Volume 4, Numbers 3 & 4, March, 2000 (http://www.nova.edu/ssss/QR/QR4- 3/winter.html) Annotated Bibliography Kahn, J. (2004), “A Matter of Chemistry”, Health, October, 2004 This article discusses the biochemical changes that happen to individuals when they fall in love. It explains how nature tries to balance the differences of men and women so they will be able to mate. An example is the equalization of testosterone levels between the sexes. Studies by Dr. Marazziti, a professor of Psychiatry at the University of Pisa revealed that other levels of hormones, like serotonin and oxytocin gets altered in the early phases of a romance, but eventually goes back to normal after some time. Feiring, C. (1996) “Concepts of Romance in 15-Year-Old Adolescents”, Journal Of Research On Adolescence, 6(2), 181-200 This study investigated the effects of early romantic experiences among adolescents, as this is the time interest for the opposite sex usually commences. Such experiences are claimed to play a significant role in developing the self and its ability for intimacy with significant others. It also influences future romantic involvements and marriage in adulthood. The research addressed two major issues: attachment and affiliative behavioral systems and gender differences in the descriptions of dating partners and romance. Affiliative more than attachment qualities were expected of the descriptions of and behaviors towards dating partners and romance since attachment is not expected until stable or committed relationships emerge. Also, girls were expected to emphasize the interpersonal aspects of romantic relationships such as commitment and self-disclosure, whereas boys focus more on their partners' physical attractiveness and sexual relations. The casual nature and group context of romance in adolescence indicates that affiliative qualities of companionship, intimacy and support were viewed as positive aspects of romantic relationships whereas love and security were not, which were more related to attachment qualities. Companionship makes friendships fulfilling, and same-sex friendships appear to provide the foundation for romantic relationships. Thus, the importance of friendship and affiliative qualities in adolescents’ conceptions of romance seems apparent. Interviews with adolescents surfaced responses that indicated that romantic partner selection in late adolescence and early adulthood commences on the basis of stimulus characteristics such as desirable personality and physical attractiveness. In the adolescents’ reports, physical attraction to a prospective romantic partner is expressed as finding the person cute, pretty or handsome, rather than in terms of sexuality (e.g. a good kisser).As the relationship progresses, common interests and values and then interpersonal compatibility becomes essential. Levine, T.R., Aune, K. S. & Park, H.S., (2006) “Love Styles and Communication in Relationships: Partner Preferences, Initiation, and Intensification”, Communication Quarterly Vol. 54, No. 4, November 2006, pp. 465–486 This article suggests that the love style an individual is prone to in the early stages of a romance dictates his or her preferences for certain characteristics in a romantic partner. These preferences are likely to guide the individual towards initiation and intensification of the relationship. This theory was tested on three exploratory studies with Study 1 having subjects rate and rank 14 characteristics of prospective romantic partners, Study 2 having subjects rate initiation and intensification strategies and Study 3 investigating the association between love styles and ratings of secret tests among individuals currently involved in a romantic relationship. Data gathered from the studies contribute to the growing body of literature that suggests that love styles are associated with individual differences and needs in communication and relationships when it comes to romance. Conger, R.D., Cui, M., Bryant, C.M. & Elder, Jr., G.H. (2000) “Competence in Early Adult Romantic Relationships: A Developmental Perspective on Family Influences”, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 2000, Vol. 79, No. 2, 224-237 A longitudinal study following the developmental growth of a number of adolescents to study the effects of family influences on their prospective romantic behavior in their early adult life. The authors hypothesized that adolescents who grew up with nurturant-involved parenting grew up to be romantic partners who were warm, supportive and low in hostility. Some studies providing evidence for the link between specific skills in intimate communication (e.g. problem solving, affect regulation, conflict management, etc.) relating to the success or failure in romantic relationships suggest that these skills are influenced by the family of origin. Another hypothesis is that children emulate the interactional behaviors of their parents and exhibit the same with their romantic partners when they grow up. The methodology of the longitudinal study was videotaping adolescents when they were 12 year olds interacting with their families and friends. Some 7 years later, these subjects were again studied with regards to their ongoing romantic relationships to validate their previous hypotheses. These young adults were likewise observed with their romantic partners and their behaviors were studied. Findings in the study were consistent with the interpersonal competence hypothesis posted at the beginning of the study that interpersonal behaviors that were high in warmth and low in hostility and linked to experiences in the family origin are positively associated with the quality of romantic relationships. This study’s credibility was strong due to the following merits: it was prospective and longitudinal, it was based on observed interactional processes instead of perceived behaviors; it included evaluations of a number of different family variables allowing the simultaneous testing of the multiple hypotheses related to family influences and that it included a direct measure of interpersonal competence in romantic relationships as a possible way of transmitting family influences. Lastly, the study directly tested the association between the presumed marker of competence and early adult quality. Giordano, P. C. , Longmore, M.A. & Manning, W.D. (2006) “Gender and the Meanings of Adolescent Romantic Relationships: A Focus on Boys”, American Sociological Review, 2006, VOL. 71 There have been several studies done on adolescents’ peer interactions, however, less is known about the qualities of adolescents’ early dating experiences. Like Feiring’s (1996) study, the significance of this paper is on the exploration of the origins of romance in a developmental perspective. It is known that adolescence is the stage when romantic feelings are usually felt for the first time. Girls’ views on romance and sexuality have been a topic of research for many scholars, but studies on boys’ perspectives are unfortunately lacking. A symbolic interactionist perspective is developed to examine the experiences of boys and girls in the context of a romantic relationship. The study focuses on the nature of communication, emotion and influence within that relationship. Although it thoroughly discusses findings of other studies on adolescent romantic relationships, it focuses on boys’ romantic perspectives. Gender differences are also tackled in the paper. Most studies emphasize girls’ strong relational orientation and the inequalities that tend to be perceived as girls center much of their time and energy on their romantic attachments. Girls’ peer groups concern themselves with the fascination that girls must always be in love, focus on their personal appearance and concern over their reputation foster these inequalities with boys. Such concerns serve to distance girls from their sexual feelings. Boys, on the other hand were found to behave differently with their peers and in private. With their peers, they ridicule those who express caring and other positive emotions for girls. This study focuses on basic but foundational research questions: Do adolescent boys express themselves more confidently than girls in heterosexual relationships? Are adolescent girls more likely to be emotionally engaged than boys in such relationships? Do boys wield greater power and influence in their early heterosexual romances. Adolescents need to gain a lot of interpersonal skills when moving into romantic relationships. Developing a level of comfort in communicating with the opposite gender is not enough. Young lovers must become familiar with the process of making initial overtures, learning how to communicate their needs to their partners, manage conflict and if necessary, successfully terminate unwanted relationships. Interviews with adolescent boys involved in romantic relationships were done in private, and it was found that an examination of reports of feelings of love across the total sample does not reveal a significant gender difference in these feelings of heightened emotionality related to the romantic relationship. In the private interviews, boys believed in the uniqueness of their feelings and emotional reactions. Results suggest a portrait of adolescent boys as relatively less confident and yet more emotionally engaged in romantic relationships than previous characterizations would lead us to expect. As boys make the transition from peers to romance, they lack experience with intimate ways of relating even as they are beginning to develop a high interest and at times strong emotional attachment to certain romantic partners. Green, J.D., Campbell, W.K., Davis, J.L. (2007) “Ghosts From the Past: An Examination of Romantic Relationships and Self-Discrepancy”, The Journal of Social Psychology, 2007, 147(3), 243–264 This article discussed the effects of a romantic relationship on one’s self-discrepancy which is the difference between the actual self (the current self-representation of the individual) and the ideal self (the representation of an individual’s hopes and aspirations). The authors present a schema-based model of romantic involvement and self-discrepancy to help explain this association, focusing on the impact of terminated relationships—“ghosts from the past.” Research has found out that romantic involvement is associated with a smaller discrepancy between the actual self and romantically involved individuals reported smaller self-discrepancies than did noninvolved individuals. References to Freud’s concepts of ego-ideal were discussed in this study, suggesting that falling in love is accompanied by the projection of an individual’s ego-ideal to the object of his or her love. When this happens, either one of three possible consequences happens: 1. it reduces the discrepancy between the perceiver’s ego and ego-ideal to the love object, 2. it causes the perceiver to idealize the target of affection and; 3. it causes the perceiver to experience an affective state of mania or joy coupled with the idealization of the partner. Aside from these theories, the paper implies that a person in love has increased self-esteem as a result of his satisfaction in the relationship. This satisfaction may also be due to the individual’s idealization of the romantic partner. Four studies were implemented and reviewed in this paper. In the first study, participants primed with a past relationship reported increased self-discrepancy in relation to participants primed with a present relationship. In the second study, it indicated that increased self-discrepancy was the result of the participants’ re-experiencing emotionally negative past romantic relationships. The third study revealed the role of depressed emotions in a negative past romantic relationship, and the fourth study indicated that the depressive emotion mediated the relationship between negative emotions from past relationships and experiencing self-discrepancy. Cramer, D. & Donachie, M., (1999) “Psychological Health and Change in Closeness in Platonic & Romantic Relationships”, The Journal of Social Psychology, Vol. 139, No. 6, pp. 762-767 It has been accepted that the extent of the closeness and supportiveness of a relationship may influence the mental health of an individual. This paper determined if closer relationships resulted in better psychological health and if decreased closeness resulted in worse psychological health. Another aim of the research was to examine the relationship between psychological health and the perspective of the instigator of change in the closeness of the relationship. Findings revealed that there was a tendency for decreased closeness but not for increased closeness to be significantly associated with psychological health. This was because decreased closeness was significantly correlated with lower self esteem and poorer mental health in the romantic relationships of the female participants and with poorer mental health in the platonic relationships of the male participants. Leone, C. and Hawkins, L.B., (2006) “Self-Monitoring and Close Relationships”, Journal of Personality 74:3 This study explores the dynamics of interpersonal relationships of high self-monitors and low-self monitors in the context of friendship, romantic relationships and marriage. High self-monitoring persons see themselves as identities resulting from social interactions and the roles these individuals play in different social settings. Low self-monitoring persons conceive of themselves as identities resulting from personal dispositions and its impact on social interactions. High self-monitors need to structure their interpersonal relationships in such a way that allows flexibility and adaptability to play different roles without suffering from role conflict. The attachments high self-monitors form with significant others tend to be avoidant meaning they feel uncomfortable being psychologically close to their significant others and fear that their significant others want them to be more intimate than high self-monitors are or can be. On the other hand, low self-monitors need to have a social world that is much like themselves. With their interpersonal relationships, they have enough freedom and security to express a variety of dispositional attributes without suffering from interpersonal conflict. Low self-monitors are committed to being in a social network where they are close and exclusive. The attachments formed by low self monitors with their significant others tend to be secure meaning they are psychologically close and do not fear that their significant other will want them to be more intimate than they are. In this study, literature on self-monitoring is organized around three phases: initiation, maintenance and dissolution. Tolhuizen, J. H. (1989). Communication strategies for intensifying dating relationships: Identification, use and structure. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 6, 413–434. Courtship patterns of dating couples are described to come in three stages if the couple intends to deepen their relationship. The first stage is casual dating which is characterized by initial, tentative and largely superficial interactions. Next stage is serious dating, which is characterized by an increased seriousness or depth of feelings. Usually, the couple has agreed to be committed to each other exclusively. The third stage is engagement, which is characterized by a definite decision for a joint future and the pursuit of marriage. This researched had three assumptions: One is that much of intensification behavior is purposeful. Intensification is characterized as having a powerful affective component and a substantial perceived risk to self. Thus, romantic partners should be more mindful of the intensification strategies they shall employ. Another assumptions is that communication is key. Communication includes both verbal messages and non-verbal actions as well as alterations in one’s self-presentation. A final assumption is that there exists a variety of behavioral options in intensifying relationships. These assumptions prompted the design of two studies conducted to achieve two goals: One is to identify the communication strategies used to intensify dating relationships, and the other is to investigate the underlying multidimensional structure of intensification strategies. The first study conducted was to learn about intensification strategies individuals engage in. Subjects were given a case scenario of a dating couple wherein one wanted to intensify the relationship into exclusivity and more seriousness. The results show that subjects identified at least 15 strategies indicating that intensification may be a multiple act process. The males in the study reported using the strategies of “direct definitional bid” and “verbal expressions of affection” and females report using the “accept definitional bid” and “relationship negotiation” strategies. This implies that in comparison to females, males seem to be more direct in expressing affection, more proactive and more willing to take the lead and more willing to take unilateral steps to intensify the relationships. Conversely, females appear to be more responsive to the male lead and to be more concerned with working out relationship definitions bilaterally. The second study used multidimensional scaling to investigate the multivariate structure of the intensification strategy set. Subjects were asked to sort the intensification strategies yielded from the first study into clusters. These clusters were named Social Rewards and Attraction, Implicitly Expressed Intimacy, Passive and Indirect and Verbal Directness Intimacy. Moss, B.F., & Schwebel, A.I., (2001) “Defining Intimacy in Romantic Relationships”, Family Relations, 1993, 42, 31-37. In an attempt to come up with a consensus in the literature on the definition of “intimacy”, the authors of this paper launched an exploration of published definitions of the construct and came up with a multidimensional definition of the term. Definitions came in different varieties. There are some very general definitions that are descriptive of some relationships but have some gaps that may be open to different interpretations. As a working definition, the authors have come up with this: “Intimacy in enduring romantic relationships is determined by the level of commitment and positive affective, cognitive, and physical closeness one experiences with a partner in a reciprocal (although not necessarily symmetrical) relationship.” (p.33). The authors have agreed that such a definition specifies five components namely commitment, affective intimacy, cognitive intimacy, physical intimacy and mutuality. Sakalli-Ugurlu, N., (2003) “How Do Romantic Relationship Satisfaction, Gender Stereotypes and Gender Relate to Future Time Orientation in Romantic Relationships?”, The Journal of Psychology, 137(3), 294- 303 This study explored how university students currently involved in heterosexual dating relationships perceive how romantic relationship satisfaction attitudes toward gender stereotypes about romantic relationships and gender relate to future time orientation in romantic relationships (FTORR). It defined important constructs such as satisfaction, gender stereotypes and future orientation. It also discussed some gender differences in terms of expectations in romantic relationships. Satisfaction is defined as “an intrapersonal evaluation of the positivity of feelings for one’s partner and attraction to the relationship” (Rusbult, 1983, as quoted in the study). Satisfaction in their romantic relationships may be associated with commitment, rewards, costs, relationship stability, perceived relationship alternatives and time spent together, power and future time orientation. Future orientation refers to an individual’s set of schemata or attitudes based on his previous experiences interacting with information from his environment that may form his expectations for the future. With this orientation, the individual may be able to anticipate and make plans for the future possibilities that he foresees. Gender stereotypes refer to the set of beliefs about the way men and women should behave in romantic relationships. Results from the questionnaires filled up by the subjects revealed that women are more affected by gender stereotypes when they are involved in romantic relationships. They are more concerned about the future of their relationships and their future families than men are. Also, those who are satisfied with their relationships tend to be more future-oriented. Assad, K. K., Donnellan, M.B. & Conger, R.D., (2007) “Optimism: An Enduring Resource for Romantic Relationships”, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 93, No. 2, 285–297 The link between optimism and satisfaction in romantic relationships was studied in this article. It was hypothesized that dispositional optimism serves as an enduring resource for romantic relationships and that it was positively associated with relationship satisfaction. Research shows that optimism is linked with the successful pursuit of goals, and one such goal shared by a majority of people is to attain happy romantic unions. Couples were interviewed and asked to fill out separately, questionnaires regarding their relationships. Results proved the proposed hypothesis that optimists have more satisfying relationships than pessimists. Cooperative problem-solving between couples encouraged by optimism is an enduring dynamic that makes the relationship of the couple stronger. Crosby, C., (2000) “Some Enchanted Evening!”, Marriage Partnership, Fall 2000, Vol. 17, Issue 3 The article dissects how romantic moments dissolve, aptly termed “romance killers”. Some of these are angry outbursts, disrespectful judgments, selfish demands, and dishonesty. Annoying behavior and sarcasm likewise put the fire out of a romantic mood. So does bad timing of things to say and comparisons to other people. On the other hand, the article also gives positive tips on how to improve romance in relationships. Little romantic gestures that show how one cares for the other or big gestures to comply with what a spouse wants or needs help a lot in heightening romance. Being sensitive to the others’ needs and addressing it right away is one way of proving how much love one feels for the other. Of course, healthy communication and spontaneity in pleasing each other cannot be outdone in improving any romantic relationship. Read More