The Importance of Sibling Rivalry in Everyday Use by Walker - Research Paper Example

Sibling rivalry Sibling rivalry can be defined as the general conflict between family members, more so the children. Some children seem to be favored more by their parents or guardians. This would always make the rest of the children jealous and spark fights or hatred among other undesired characters in the family.’ Every day use’ is a novel by Walker. This work focuses on some of the incidences in the novel or short story related to sibling rivalry and implications or importance of such incidences. The book has jealousy as one of its themes. In general life, the younger members of the family are usually favored by the parents. But this does not apply in the novel. Maggie, who is younger the Dee feels neglected while her elder sister, Dee is well cared of. This creates a rivalry between the two. The elder sister is also attractive than her younger sister because Maggie has some scary marks from the fire incidence when she was young. The hatred strengthens Maggie since she does her own things without depending on fellow family members. Dee on the other hand is over dependent on her parent (mama). Sibling rivalry promotes responsibility among family members, more so the children. Dee is known to be lazy, despite being stronger and healthier than her younger sister who was once a fire accident victim (Borden, 49). Dee cannot even make her own bed nor clean up. But when the parents are away, she is forced to depend on herself since the younger sister; Maggie does not tolerate her laziness. The irony in the novel that Maggie, the youngest in the family is more active than her elder sister, Dee. Maggie feels offended when Dee orders Hakim around the house like she has no hands or limbs. Dee is ever seated while everything is done to her. Maggie is more responsible despite her tender age and weakness from the fire incident. She is further offended by the fact that her elder sister is not learning to undertake domestic chores, instead she depends on Hakim and her parent (mama). Maggie has learnt to depend on her own even as she associate with her peers while her sister cannot even relate with her age mates due to pride among other factors. Maggie has learnt to be more respectful than her elder sister Dee. Despite being neglected, she finds it important to remain obedient to her mother. Dee down looks her mother despite all the attention she gets. There is a point her mother tries to explain how her name came about. Dee is named after her respected aunt. Instead of her appreciating having named after an important society member, she despises her mother and walks away (Faber, 29). Maggie avoids associating with her sister at all cost. She does her thing on her own because she thinks Dee is favored but she still remains disobedient to the mother. There is a point Maggie wish she was the eldest so that she could her sister some lessons. Maggie and Hakim do most of the house chores while the elder sister makes orders like some kind of boss. As a reader, one later learns that Dee is not favored by her mother (mama) but the later tries her to reunite Dee with other family members. Dee is tough and masculine according to her mother’s verdict. The story talks about how her mother used some encouraging and pleasant phrases to place so that she would appreciate other family members, but all is in vain. Dee continues her independent life and does not involve any family members in her decisions. It takes mama great effort to make Dee appreciate kitchen as a woman’s territory, instead the latter uses her robust energy to butcher cows as well as hogs. This makes the character different from other women in the novel. Dee later changes her name to ‘Wangero’, an African name. This offends her mother and Maggie is regarded as the family caretaker instead. We come to learn the real character of Dee. The mother is having no favors but just tries to convince the role of women in the society. Sibling conflict makes on learn how the other sibling feels or think of her or him. Dee knows very well that she is not in good terms with her younger sister Maggie and her mother (mama). Dee later resolves to lead her life without involving any her family member. Her mother describes her from different from the rest of her children during the television show. She painfully narrates how Dee uses her robust energy or masculine nature to slaughter cows instead of concentrating on domestic chore and kitchen works. The society describes a good woman in accordance with her abilities in the kitchen. Dee has learnt how to relate or deal with her mother (mama) and the rest of her siblings. The rivalry helps parents understand the nature or characteristics of their children. Mama came to learn of Maggie after the latter threw plates and slammed the kitchen door, on realizing that Dee was to take the quilts mama had promised her. Maggie is described as innocent, uncorrupt and humble by mama. She is always indoors since mama thinks she is weak to interact with the outside world. This makes her uneducated while her sister, Dee is free to seek education and mingle with her peers. This makes Maggie jealous although she has no better way to express this. Mama laments that Maggie always has a will buried deep in her and this can only be portrayed when enters a conflict with her elder sister Dee. Dee, on the other hand, is not concerned about her sister’s weakness as mama narrates. Dee spends much time seeking her real identity. Her judgmental character offends mama and Maggie to an extent they do not see her as a member of that family (Sparrow, 97). Mama tries to learn how to handle Dee but she is no getting through since the latter is usually filled by her. She despises her mother being illiterate. Mama knew Maggie was weak due to the fire incidence when Maggie was a child. She takes good care of her and protects her from the external world. Maggie is ever safe; however, this makes her lack basic education and the strength to face the world. At some point, her mother thinks of her daughter (Maggie) marrying John Thomas. Dee doubts whether the marriage will strengthen her sister having stayed indoors for quite a long duration. These doubts offend Maggie although she cannot speak it off her chest. But her mother understands her and tries to comfort and convince her of the marriage. Rivalry in the family makes one realize the true her or him. Dee is different from the rest of her family members. She is proud of her African origin to an extent she transforms her name to Wangero. She is different from the activists among other people who feel ashamed to be associated with Africa culture and life in general. Mama is not comfortable with Dee seeking to know much of Africa beliefs, culture and lifestyle. Dee is ready to denounce the western education she has. Dee and Hakim later unite to take photographs of ugly African sceneries. Sibling’s rivalry makes children or siblings adopt the real identity which to some extent is a good idea. Social researchers lament majority of organizations would always hire people with true identity, in other words, those who can stand for what they believe. Suppose there was no rivalry between Maggie and Dee, the readers would not have learned of their true identities or characters. Sibling rivalry promotes family unity. There is an incident when Maggie throws down the plates and slams the door on realizing that Dee was to take her quilts her mother had promised her before. But she later humbles herself and tries to win her elder sister (Dee) by allowing her to take the quilts. After rivalry, reunion follows. It is this single instance that Dee and Maggie seem to be on the same side, in the entire narration. Their mother (mama) is actually shocked on learning that Maggie has actually offered Dee her Quilts. The two later bonds together and Dee comes to learn that her sister is not that jealous instead she wishes her mother would let her out and mingle with the outer world and seek education among other wishes. It is at this juncture Maggie talks of her feeling like the burden of the two sisters is on her shoulder. This shows she is depressed and Dee wish she would do something about it. ‘The first confession’ also portrays some elements of sibling rivalry. The narrator does not like the fact that her grandmother moved in with them after the death of the grandfather. He describes her not fit for urban life. She walked bare footed and had tradition table manners. The rivalry in the family started when the narrator hate his grandmother while Nora, her sister sided with her. At some juncture, Jackie, the narrator refused to take dinner because it was prepared by the granny. Nora confronted him but he had a bread knife to scare the sister away. The mother later came in and prepared Jackie dinner. The father later came in and Nora narrated all that happened while they were away. He punished Jackie but the mother was not pleased. The following day, the mother never spoke with Nora while the father never spoke with Jackie. Sibling rivalry helps family members realize their sins or mistakes. Jackie attended all the lessons by Mrs. Ryan, the old granny who talked of hell among other religious lessons. Her teachings suck on Jackie mind, more so that of the sinner whose hands were burnt for making bad confessions. Nora, on the other hand, is not moved for taking her grand mother’s penny from pension. She seems comfortable and Jacky can do nothing about it (Landau, 81). At some juncture, Mrs. Reads Jackie the Ten Commandments and Jackie realize that he violated the command ‘honor your mother and father’ by being disrespectful to his grandmother. He recalls how she refused to eat her food and kicked her. Jackie decides to confess his sin but Nora offers to accompany him to the priest. Nora provokes him and even scares him to an extent he wants to get back home but Nora holds him firmly in the church. The rivalry between the Jackie and Nora made the boy reach the church to confess his sins, for the first time. Sibling rivalry strengthens family bonds. After the conflict in the family, Jackie decides to confess in the church and the news spread among the family members. His father and grandmother forgives him and the family bond is back. He becomes a close friend to his sister, Nora. He even reminds Nora the command of not coveting your neighbor’s property (Goldenthal, 102). He encourages Nora to also repent her sins to avoid being tormented in hell. The rivalry proved that family can disagree but upon settling such disputes, the family can reunite to become even tighter than before. Nora also became a good girl by not taking the granny’s any more. Family disputes also make family members realize their true identities. The father learned of Jackie’s bad character after Nora, his rival narrated the whole story to the father. The father later punishes Jackie as a corrective measure. Jackie might have developed with the bad behavior to his adulthood (McAuslan, 74). The mother also realized the importance of correcting children after committing some offenses. The rivalry between Jackie and Nora revealed some of their dark hidden secrets for corrections. Works cited Borden, M. The Baffled parents' guide to sibling rivalry. USA: McGraw Hill Professional, 2003.print Faber, A. Sibling without rivalry. USA: W.W Norton, 2012.print Goldenthal, P. Beyond children rivalry: How to help your children. USA: Henry Holt and Company, 2000.print Landau, E. Sibling rivalry:brothers and sisters at odd. New York: Milbrook press, 2000.print McAuslan, F. Resolving sibling rivalry. USA: Resolving Books, 2010.print Sparrow, J. Understanding sibling rivalry. France: Da capo press, 2008.print Read More