The Role of Grand Parents in the Life of Their Grand Children - Literature review Example

The Role of Grand Parents in the Life of Their Grand Children Introduction In the lives of the Grandchildren, Grandparents play a vital role. They not only love their grandchildren, but also pamper them with affection, care, support and help. They play many roles in their lives like they are baby sitters as well as the helper consultant and supporter in worst circumstances. Research Show that the relation between grandparents and grandchildren, help grandchildren not only emotionally, but it also offers them a unique mental relation and understanding. Grandparents offer great support to their grandchildren during family disruptions. Sometimes they revealed to be the best playmates for their younger generations. In some cases, grandparents also serve as a role model and mentor for their grandchildren. They are also serve as the historians; teaching their young the family traditions and ethnic heritage (Dolliver, 2005). Result from the theories such as evolutionary, family system lifespan development and attachment, can be applied to the relation of the grandchildren with their grandparents. The relationship is normally seen as edifying for the grandchildren and satisfying for the older ones. Grandparents are the family historian. They give advices to the younger ones in the light of their experiences. They also teach their own children how to tackle with the new generation. They are the greatest influence on the life of their grandchildren (Science daily, 2011) Grandparents in American Society In the United States of America, approx three-forth of Youngs will become grandparents. They average rate for women is 50 years and for man is 52 years. They enjoy being Grandparents for about third of their total life span. Grand-Grandparents are rare in the society. As life goes on teenagers turn into parents and then grandparents. Major researches are conducted in the urban part of the country and western Europe. A lot of research is conducted also in the industrialized part of the United States of America In the agrarian environment, relationship was well-built. Most of the parents expected their children to help and support them in the old and last age. In the modern society divorces and separation has made family affinity more dispersed. The role of grandparents is also very important for the children with divorced parents. Their role has now been considered as vital and positive, since 1960 and further. Grandparents as Primary Caregiver Monotropic attachment theory, successfully explains the formation of the relationship and their primary caregivers, usually represented by mother. Monotropic attachment offers a strong paradigm for understanding the effect of the child and caregiver relationship. It also explains the process of adjustment of a child with its primary caregiver. Theory addresses that a child can form its relationship with multiple caregivers; for example siblings, parents and grandparents (Goldberg, 2000). Parent of the children’s parent, is the right definition of the Grandparents. In the modern society, many divorced couples and singles are unwilling to offer their child a complete and proper care. Due to this more and more Grandparents are fulfilling the duties of the parents. It greatly helps child to gain back his love, confidence and care. Grandparents, being alone not only wanted their younger generation to be with them, but they also want their lives to be full of love and picture perfect (Forever families, 2012) The feeling of being eldest helps them to understand their responsibilities. Though, they are not bound to give love to their grandchildren, still their internal compulsion pushes them to love and care for their new breed. Children can get a lot from their grandparents, if they both act traditionally. They can spend some of their quality time with each other; they can form a strong, deep and long lasting relation. Grandparents treat their grandchildren as an equal. But this equation is not same when these grandparents were parents. Grandparents have a lot of love for their newer generation, they have free time and experience to give them. This situation gives them the chance to set a powerful bond with their grand children (Rofle, 2004). Psychologically speaking, when grandparents turn to parenthood after a long time, they become distressed. Usually elder people do not have much patience to endure the acts of small children. They may feel guilty for ignoring their grandchildren and their anger. (Better child, 2012). They sometimes blame their grandchildren for placing them in the position of the grandparents. For the grandparents to become the perfect, they need to take care of their health. They should feel that now someone is dependent on them for love and care. Styles of Grand Parenting Although all the grandparents possess similar feelings about their love, care and experience, the styles of expression can be different. Each individual offers his unique behavior to other. There are many factors which may affect the process and feelings of grand parenting. Some of these factors are ethnicity, culture, gender family, race, family structure, family tradition and their own personal history. Researchers, who are working on this topic, identified several styles of grand parenting. Some of them are discussed in this. Grand Parent as Historian As the family historian, they offer and share some helpful stories of the past. They can be the stories about the relatives, traditions, past happening, world history, family history or some important event of their life. Grandparents share their own stories of childhood or the stories of children’s’ parents. This really helps grandchildren in understanding their family background and the importance of values and tradition in their family. As a result, when these grandchildren grow up and turn grandparents themselves, they pass these stories to their generation. In this way grandparents also serve as a preserver of the family history. They help family in retaining their identity Grandparents as Playmate Grandparents can also serve as playmate to their grandchildren. Many grandparents like the opportunity to become the wizard, tiger or the hero for their grand children. When they become wizard, they play tricks to make them laugh. As a tiger they roar and as a hero, they tell them the stories of their powerful arms and intelligence. In other words, they keep them engage, when they are away from their family ‎ (Dolliver, 2005) ‎. They also listen to the stories of the children with patience. Children, who are fond of making stories up, catch their grandparents for this purpose. The grandparents not only listen to them but also correct them and tell them what the flaws in their story are? In Short, grandparents offer great fun to their younger generation (Better child, 2012) Role Model and Nurturer Grandparents also provide help and support to the family during crisis. They offer encouragement. Whether they are serving as the chauffer, babysitter, the confidante and the caregiver, the main thing is the balance of control and encouragement. Grandparents guide by sharing skills, teaching, sharing talents, listening to their newer generation and offering advice (Science Daily, 2011).In this way, children get more and more affection with their grandparents. They respect them for their love and care. They start spending time with them to gain more and more experience. With their hard work, they turn to be the role model of the family. Children want to copy their style of love and affection. They come to them with their issues and seek their advice. Protective Role of Grand Parents Children with divorced parents, normally feel distressed. They need someone elder to care for them and to take care of their needs. In these situations, grandparents provide protection to the mentally disturbed child. They take care of his needs and talk to him about the problems in his life. They not only listen to him but also provide proper solution to his problems. Child feels secure, while being their grandparents. He trusts them and takes their advices (Brhel, 2008) Grand Parents Need of the Children Grandparents also need children to talk and play with. They are usually tired of their routine and want someone, whom they can offer love and care. Instead of sitting alone they prefer the company of the grandchildren. In the usual American society, the importance of grandparents is more than the importance of the parents (Brhel, 2008) Grandparents attract children more than their parents do. There are two reasons for this. Number one; their parents do not have much time to spent, the other is the feeling of being stuck with children. Most parents run from their children to this feeling (Verma, 2012). Conclusion Grandparents play an important role in the life of their grandchildren. Their existence is very much important. They offer greater help and services. The way they love is unique and strong. A strong bond with grandparents can benefit children in several ways. They can serve as role model. They can affect and influence the life of a family. They also help in building homes with affection. They not only preserve family history, but also play main part in transferring the history to the newer generation. With them children feel safe and secure. Children share their interest with them. Grandparents also provide encouragement to the childs healthy development. They help children make their own decisions and guide their path throughout their life. Night trips to place of grandparents and the sleepover help children become independent. Their dedicated attentions improve the life of children. In short, they are the biggest source of love and care for everyone in the family. References A Better Child (2012). Grandparents Role in the Family. Retrieved from < http://www.a-better-child.org/page/888950> Forever Families (2012). Importance of Grandparents to Their Grandchildren. Retrieved from < http://foreverfamilies.byu.edu/Article.aspx?a=30> Mark Dolliver (2005). Examining The Role of Grandparents In the lives Of the Grandchildren. ADWEEK. Retrieved from < http://www.adweek.com/news/advertising/examining-role-grandparents-lives-their-grandchildren-81353> Rita Brhel. The Vital Importance of Grandparent-Grandchildren Bond. (2008). Retrieved from < http://theattachedfamily.com/?p=164> Science Daily (2011). The Ties That Bind: Grandparents And Their Grandchildren’s. Retrieved from < http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/05/110513204417.htm> Seema Verma (2012). Bonding With Grandparents. Retrieved from < http://www.medimanage.com/my-kids-health/more-articles/-bonding-with-grandparents.aspx> Sharne A. Rolfe (2004). Rethinking Attachment for Early Childhood Practice. Australia. SRM Publication. Susan Goldberg (2000). Attachment and Development, United States of America: Arnold Publisher Read More