The American Loneliness: All the Lonely People - Term Paper Example

Outline Thesis: The of friendship is dying in America because there are few to no true meaningful friendships these days since people lack the time to socialize in person with one another so the younger generation rely mostly on digital socialization for the most part while the older generation feel an increase in their loneliness, which means that Americans are looking at a future of isolation and loneliness over their lifetime. Topic sentence1: Instead of creating friendships, young generation Americans often create social contacts, which cannot be defined the same way that real time and physical friendships are. Topic sentence 2: Americans do not have the time for physical contact with friends due to their busy schedules, and this is why a new generation of Americans turn to social media to keep them in touch with their friends and acquaintances. Topic sentence3: Americans are constantly in touch with people in their social list, but there is no actual socialization and friendship creation taking place mostly because even though they can access information about one another, distance still keeps them from physically enjoying the joy of friendships. Topic sentence 4: Social media only adds to the feeling of isolation in the younger generation who have a fear of missing out on life while the elderly find themselves becoming lonelier due to their advancing ages and the demise of their friends. Opposition: Loneliness is caused by more than just a sense of isolation within the realm of social media. The fact remains that friendships are only built after all parties involved actually make an effort to stay in contact with their friends. Without making an effort to create some sort of connection, either through social media for the young and physical contact for the elderly, friendships will cease to flourish between people and thus aid in the demise of friendships and the rise of loneliness among people. The American Loneliness The advent of the “silent era” of friendships via social media accounts has created a totally new definition of friendship and what defines a set of people as friends. Those who are involved in traditional friendships, such as people over the age of 50, find that it has also become quite difficult for them to remain in touch with their friends on a real time level. However, these people do not have the time to spend nor the inclination to learn about the “benefits” of digitized friendships. As such the more advanced in age generation find themselves increasingly lonely as they move on with their lives. As we progress as a society into the 21st century, our method of socializing with one another has began to see changes for both the young and old generation. Most affected by the changes in socialization trends and an aging population is the concept of friendship and its relation to the rapidly increasing sense of loneliness for both the younger and older generation. Regardless of the age difference between the two social brackets the fact remains that both of them find themselves increasingly being enveloped by a serious sense of loneliness. The reasons for the loneliness seeming to vary from the lack of time to personally socialize with one another, thus using digital socialization in its place, or, as in the case of the elderly, their lack of mobility to physically go out and socialize with their friends of the same age. Some of whom either cannot travel to meet with one another, or had already died, thus increasing the sense of loneliness for the remaining friends of the same age. It is because of these social factors that the American population is increasingly looking at a future of isolation and loneliness over their individual lifetimes. Throughout this paper, I will be making reference to various materials from writers such as Tamara Cohen, Shawn Cohen, Anne Polta, and Mark Vernon in order to support or refute the arguments that I have posed for resolution in this paper. All of these aforementioned writers agree that the demise of traditional friendships and the aging population of Americans should be considered contributing factors to the sense of loneliness and isolation that the American people feel. Instead of creating friendships, young generation Americans often create social contacts, which cannot be defined the same way that real time and physical friendships are. It was Mark Vernon, in his USA Today article “Is True Friendship Dying Away?”, who raised the question of whether social media, which contributes to the creation of digital friendships, helps to create steadfast friendships. His argument is quite simple, he doesnt believe that digital friendships carry any sort of weight in real life because the participants in the friendship are truly far removed from each other physically to actually be able to care and express proper concern over their perceived friends life events. It is his opinion that these digital friendships do not help to bolster true friendships because no amount of sound byte reactions to events in social media will ever replace the heartfelt and warn emotions that real time interaction with friends can offer. Vernon also offers up the hectic lifestyle of 21st century professionals as being one of the main reasons behind their inability to create physical connections with people, even though the same people count numerous people as their social acquaintances in the realm of social media. These friendships are what he deems to be shallow and empty because of the lack of interest in a true social connectivity among the participants. As such, the modern day professionals find themselves lonelier than ever. As Vernon goes on to explain; “No single person is at fault, of course. The pressures on friendship today are broad. They arise from the demands of work, say, or a general busyness that means we have less quality time for others “ (Vernon, Mark “Is True Friendship Dying Away?”). Americans do not have the time for physical contact with friends due to their busy schedules, and this is why a new generation of Americans turn to social media to keep them in touch with their friends and acquaintances. For the younger generation of Americans and American professionals, trying to find pockets of time with which to spend with their real friends has ceased to exist. Work has all but taken over the lives of young professionals these days. Being extremely busy at the office means that they do not even have time for water cooler chats anymore. Quick and superficial conversations mostly take place over social media or texting in an effort to create a semblance of friendships in their unenviable lives. Instead, social media is used to keep abreast of friends activities and the like. Conversations which are limited to merely the most succinct thoughts and sentences that can be mustered combine with the online photos of the latest activities of these “friends” or acquaintances. Activities which some of those in the circle are either not invited to or cannot afford to do. Thus creating a fear that psychologists and author Shawna Cohen have termed “Fear of Missing Out” or “FOMO”. This creates a delicate mental and emotional state for the younger Americans who feel more isolated and lonely because they were “forgotten” by the people in their circle when it came to sending out invitations for the event or gathering (Cohen, Shawna “FOMO: Fear of Missing Out”). So, even though social media helps to keep these people in touch, that does not necessarily mean that a friendship is growing and loneliness is ebbing for them. Americans are constantly in touch with people in their social list, but there is no actual socialization and friendship creation taking place mostly because even though they can access information about one another, distance still keeps them from physically enjoying the joy of friendships. Cohen proceeds to explain that scanning pictures or watching videos of adventures and activities that a friend or friends posts on facebook or other social media only serves to make the viewer more lonely and depressed because the person was not invited to participate in the activity (Cohen, Shawna “FOMO: Fear of Missing Out”). This adds to the sense of inadequacy, missing out, and loneliness that a person feels. This is increased by the emotions of jealousy, depression, loneliness, and anxiety because the person finds himself constantly checking his social media accounts in order to have a perceived connection with friends. The sheer distance that still physically exists between these people drives home the point that friendships cannot be maintained by social media alone. Physical proximity to one another is still one of the most traditional and steadfast ways of developing, cultivating, and nurturing friendships. Social media only adds to the feeling of isolation in the younger generation who have a fear of missing out on life while the elderly find themselves becoming lonelier due to their advancing ages and the demise of their friends. Cohen further explains that the sense of isolation and loneliness is not something that the technology of social media created for the young Americans. It is actually their own creation. To quote: Of course, lots of people have a healthy attitude toward technology: They use it sparingly and as a means to connect with friends and family. But just as many have become obsessed, creeping through Facebook (checking out photos of the ex and analyzing his new girlfriend, for example), keeping tabs on hundreds—and sometimes even thousands—of their nearest and dearest. They’ll spend hours each day on Twitter alone—time that could be better spent working out, reading a novel or meeting up with a friend for face-to-face interaction. And, worse yet, they’ll interrupt a perfectly good real- life moment so that they can share it with the masses Cohen, Shawna “FOMO: Fear of Missing Out”). It is the opinion of Cohen that the loneliness that the young Americans feel is something that can totally be avoided if they will only unplug from their devices and instead, make the time to physically be with their friends and share an actual conversation instead of 140 characters on Twitter, a private message on Facebook, or a text message. Even a phone call would create a better sense of physical connectivity for people and reduce the sense of loneliness that one feels. One the other hand, the sense of loneliness that the elderly feels comes from a totally different place. According to Tamara Cohen, most people over the age of 50 experience a sense of loneliness that has the same effect on their health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day (Cohen, Tamara “Over 50,,, and Lonely”). Unlike their younger counterparts however, the elderly find themselves still feeling lonely even though they can be surrounded by a body of people. According to Paul Burstow, a former secretary of mental health in the United Kingdom : “This chronic isolation can lead to people becoming ill and dying earlier. Keeping people connected to their communities is absolutely critical if we are to reduce the impact on social services, the NHS and the quality of life for our ageing population.” (qtd. in Cohen). This information connects directly to information published in the Archives of Internal Medicine about the aging population covering the age bracket of 60 and over. The study of adults over the age of 60 covering a period of 6 years showed that they experienced a functional decline relating to decreased mobility, difficulty with activities of daily living, oftentimes resulting in the person dying sooner than expected (Polta, Anne “New Study Hints Loneliness Can Play a Big Role in Persons Health”). Loneliness is caused by more than just a sense of isolation within the realm of social media. The fact remains that friendships are only built after all parties involved actually make an effort to stay in contact with their friends. Without making an effort to create some sort of connection, either through social media for the young and physical contact for the elderly, friendships will cease to flourish between people and thus aid in the demise of friendships and the rise of loneliness among people. Loneliness is a state of mind that is easily created by people due to the mindset that is created by whatever they are currently experiencing in life. Oftentimes, the loneliness stems from the fact that the lack of physical contact with people leaves one wondering as to whether they are doing enough in their lives to be perceived as interesting and engaging by others. Sources Cohen, Shawna. “FOMO: Fear of Missing Out”. flare.com. flare.com. 20 Sept. 2011. Web. 24 Mar. 2014. Cohen, Tamara. “Over 50... and Lonely”. iol.co.za. iol.co.za. 18 Apr.2013. Web. 23 Mar. 2014. Polta, Anne. “The Loneliness Factor: Social Connections and Health”. areavoices.com. areavoices.com. 22 Jun. 2012. Web. 22 Mar. 2014. Vernon, Mark. “Is True Friendship Dying Away?”. usatoday.com. usatoday.com. 26 Jul. 2010. Web. 21 Mar. 2014. Read More