The Gilmore Girls TV Show - Essay Example

Gilmore Girls TV Series (2000 – 2007) Creator: Amy Shermon The Gilmore Girls, created by Amy Sherman in the year 2000, is a tv series that is based on the close bond between a mother and a daughter. Despite the fact that the title of the show implies sisters, however the “girls” on which this show is based on is a single mother and her teenage daughter. Lorelai Gilmore, played by Lauren Graham, becomes pregnant when she is a teenage, and, against the wishes of her parents, she chooses to keep the child and raise it by herself. As the child, Rory (Alexis Bledel) grows older she and her mother enjoy a close relationship, however the show focuses on how as Rory grows older Lorelai finds it more challenging to be both a parent and a best friend. Lorelai’s parents, who are seen to be quiet different than her never let her forget how much trouble she was in her early years. She therefore lives independently with Rory, however eventually she turns for their financial help in order to give Rory the best education. The show revolves around the communication and the lack thereof between the characters which leads them to a number of situations, good and bad. It depicts how Lorelai while still leaving room for her daughter to make mistakes, continues to make so many of her own. The series runs for 7 seasons all of which portray to the audience the drama of these dynamic women at their prime as well as their downfalls. It shows that how no matter what happens in their lives, the basic fact that they will always have each other, and this is what Lorelai and Rory Gilmore are all about. One of the major propellant of the ‘Gilmore girls story, as far as communication is concerned is closely associated to the aspect of American class. Firstly it is important to mention that American culture being categorized as low-context where the communication style has most of the information incorporated into a message with the need for detailed background information for social interaction (Hall, 1973). Lorelai, despite being born and raised in a wealthy atmosphere is seen to have left her home with her child at the age of seventeen. She moved to Stars Hollow and started a new life working her way up from a job as a maid at the Independence Inn to being a manager there years later. Being privileged instead of making her feel comfortable and safe made her feel repressed and controlled. The defining reason for this disparity and gap between her and her parents was due to poor communication which leads to widening the gap between them, one which already was undeniable due to very different personalities. Key patterns of communication which highlight Lorelai’s relationship with that of her parents comprises of lecturing, criticism, blaming, judging, interrogating, intention to intimidate as well as heightened emotional responses along with outbursts of rebellion. The communication patterns which were defining characteristics of Lorelai and her parent’s relationship are seen to be very divergent to the one Lorelai and Rory have. Despite being raised in a middle class environment Rory and Lorelai have an open channel of communication based on friendly banter, humor, praise, listening, supporting, gossiping and open expression. These have a great impact on their interpersonal communication as well effecting how close the two were. The main mode for their communication is that of humor in order to get their points across and maintain friendly banter. For example: after Rory got into the prestigious Chilton high school and Lorelai found out she and Rory notices her happiness saying “"Did you do something slutty?" in response to which Lorelai says “"Im not that happy” and shows her a plaid skirt; after seeing which Rory asks if she was “..going to be in a Britney Spears video?”. This is when Lorelai breaks the news to her. In stark comparison is the communication shown between Rory’s best friend Lane and her family. Lane is Korean, and hence comes from a high context culture defining the dynamics of communication in her family as reserved, less verbal and more conservative There are several aspects of verbal communication which was observable between characters in the show. An accurate breakdown of these can be seen in terms of the dialectics which were prominently highlighted. Relational dialectics are a dominating aspect as far as verbal communication between the characters in the show is concerned. Relational dialectics comprise of the tension which represents a relationship, whether it’s romantic, social or familial. These tensions can be a source of conflict however coming to an understanding of these can contribute to a healthier and stronger relationship. A breakdown of the key relationship dialectics is autonomy-connection, novelty/predictability and openness/closedness. Autonomy/connection aspect has to do with being involved in a relationship with another person, but at the same time standing out as your own person as well. How this applies to Lorelai and Rory’s relationship is quiet evident in the way Lorelai is her ‘me’ when she is hanging out with her best friend Sookie, managing her inn, or in a romantic relationship with her boyfriend. Rory on the other hand is her ‘me’ when she is spending time at her college, going around town, and having her own relationship. They both are independent in the way each of them has their own autonomy, however their connection still remains strong as ever. No matter how busy Rory is she still, after moving to Yale, comes to spend time with her mother. They’re not just simply mother and daughter, their “we” relationship is that of best friends. As far as novelty/predictability goes it incorporates things which are done either spontaneously or in a routine. Both of which are critical aspects of communication to keep a relationship emotionally fulfilling and interesting. Rory and Lorelai are all about novelty. This can be seen in the way they randomly do things for the sake of fun and excitement: their movie nights with an abundance of junk food, their road trips, and the parties they attend. However they also undertake routine activities, such as Friday night dinner with Lorelai’s parents, their trips to Luke’s Diner etc. The third dialectic, openness and closedness has everything to do with their type of verbal communication. The question addressed here is, do they share everything, or do they have a closed communication, when they share very little. The answer quiet simply is that they have a mixture of both. When a situation is intense they keep things to themselves and deal with them on their own. This can be seen in the way Rory was struggling when she doubted her career choice as a reporter and how Lorelai never told Rory about the problems she was having with her boyfriend. They would prefer to work through their problems on their own and then share them with each other. However it is critical to note here that they never kept things from each other which were necessary to know, but they didn’t share every small detail either which could be resolved on their own. True that the Gilmore girls are verbose and expressive individuals, non verbal communication is also used as an effective tool in the TV show. Facial expressions, body language and the use of gestures and tone are used by other characters that are a vital part of the girl’s lives. There are Lorelai’s parents who along with being verbal about their frequent disapproval of her actions also exude hostility judging from their frowns, prolonged silences and their facial expressions. When Lorelai jokes in the presence of their friends they are after a awkward pause quick to change the subject and avert eye contact. Luke, Lorelai’s love interest and one of her oldest friends, uses nonverbal communication more effectively than most characters. Due to the closeness Luke and Lorelai share simply by one look can Lorelai judge when he is unhappy or troubled and Luke is able to effectively judge Lorelai’s body language to assess when she is in trouble. An example, that comes to mind is when Lorelai is sitting alone and silently at Luke’s diner, with her empty cup of coffee Luke comes straight up to her inquire as to what was wrong. Lorelai’s humor is a dominant part of her ability to communicate with others. Her versatile and frequent use of humor as a depiction of her mood and situation is a key part of her communication. However there are many instances where you see how distinct social interactions are governed by specific rules and that Lorelai’s humor is looked upon critically. This can be seen in the way her parents are frequently critical of her use of humor which in all honesty is just her main strategy in interacting with people. It is frowned upon when she interacts with her upper class associates and her parents. They are not amused by her jokes and the awkward silences and frowns that her remarks follow lead one to conclude that it is an unacceptable part of the upper class society to joke in such a way. However when she is in her normal surrounding in her town or her working place her humor is much appreciated and effective. It is a depiction of her closeness to the town people and a acceptable part of the society she resides in. In Stars Hollow, she is confident and well-liked and her humor is an effective communication tool. With Rory, their ability to joke with each other is a key building block of their healthy and close relationship. They tease each other, joke with each other and make fun of each other however these are just the way in which they communicate. It is an effective technique to share problems, get through issues and maintain a great relationship. What I notice that is so different from a similar setting in my own life is the fact that rarely do you see children so willing to establish such good communication with their parents and being successful at it. Lorelai and Rory share everything and despite the mistakes they make and the challenges they face their ability to tell communicate with each other so well and fix bad situations through talking things out is something I find to some extend unrealistic. True, communication is a powerful tool however situational elements sometimes over power people’s ability to work things through. Other than situational constraints, there are so many barriers to effective communication which lead to an exhaustion of efforts by individuals. This can be seen in the way marriages fail, siblings grow apart and so many close relationships take a turn for the worse. I would say the situation played a greater role for the ability of the Gilmore girls to be so close. Not every 16 year old pregnant teenager decides to keep the child and move out right after giving birth from her parent’s house to establish a independent life and raise a child on their own. Overall I would say the ‘Gilmore girls’ is a good watch. Not only does it have witty dialogues, an interesting plot, but it also puts forth an essential underlined dominant role which communication plays in the building of relationships. References Hall, E.T. The Silent Language. New York: Anchor Books. (1973). Gilmore Girls. Tv Series. Web. (2000). Retrieved from: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0238784/ Read More