A Jest of God by Margaret Laurence (Rachel Cameron) - Book Report/Review Example

A Jest of God In the novel 'A Jest of God', Rachel Cameron is the main character who analyses day-to-day events happening in her life. The novel reveals both, the inner feelings and the external reactions of Rachel Cameron. Rachel is not only habituated to analyzing every simple event and every single sentence spoken by anyone around her, she also does it continuously irrespective of how trivial an event or sentence it is. Rachel is able to realize that she either concentrates on trivial details or views things in such a broad perspective that everything becomes a blur. Rachel is yearning to break free from the responsibilities of her mother forced upon her, but is not able to. The novel is mainly about the self realization journey that Rachel takes. As the novel progresses, Rachel realizes certain realities about her life and begins to accept the limitations and inadequacies she has to live with. Rachel is extremely sensitive about the events occurring around her. She analyses situations critically, most of the time a little more critically than necessary. The pattern in which her mind works, in itself, is a proof that she believes she is inadequate. It is obvious that she is extremely worried about what people around her think about her. It is this lack of self confidence in her that forces her to believe people don't mean what they say. She expects even the most trivial statement made by a person to mean something more than what they have intended to convey. Her lack of self confidence is also evident from the fact that she goes on apologizing even when it is not required. The inadequacy she assumes that she has makes her think that she owes the person opposite to her an apology. She presumes that she is not capable of satisfying Nick's expectations and apologizes to him even when she is sharing an intimate moment with him. But as the novel progresses, Rachel begins to realize that she does not need to apologize the way she always does with her mother and others. When she spends a few moments speaking to Hector, she begins to apologize to him even when it is not warranted. She then says to herself, "Go on apologizing for ever, go on until nothing of you is left. Is that what you want the most" (Laurence, 153) She then changes her mind and instead thanks Hector for spending time with her. Though this realization begins at this point, she actually puts this into practice a little later on when she stops apologizing to her mother, something she has been doing for so many years now. One of the main aspects that pushes Rachel further in her path to self discovery is her experience with Nick. With Nick, she is sharing an experience that she has never before shared with anyone in the last thirty four years. She craves for his approval so much that she often fantasizes that Nick would want her just the way she wants him. Even after Nick has left Manawaka without informing her, she weaves webs of dreams about the way she wants things to work out between Nick and herself but deep within her heart knows none of them would come true. She begins to realize that, over the years, she has accumulated so many layers of dreams that she doesn't become aware of it until some harsh reality lets her see the truth. Initially, Rachel thinks Nick would never want to be with an aged woman like herself, but in reality he does spend his time with her. By the time Nick leaves her, she begins to imagine otherwise. She begins to look for reasons to believe that Nick did not leave Manawaka because of her, but because of having a fight with his father or for some other reason. In spite of Nick leaving her without a word and leaving her to assume that he is a married man, Rachel keeps dreaming that Nick would want her to inform him about her having his child. Rachel encounters Nick's parents one Saturday evening after summer and learns the fact that Nick has never been married before. It is at this point that Rachel understands the fact that she would never be able to know what exactly it was that Nick intended; whether he wanted her to believe the boy in the photograph was his son or was it just a means to change the topic, whether it was too much for him to promise to give her what she was asking for or was he just becoming bored, and whether his experiences during summer had anything to do with her or not. Rachel realizes that there was no point in her continuing to wonder about Nick and so she consciously makes an effort to put an end to her thoughts about Nick. By the end of the novel, Rachel realizes that she has waited too long for something worthwhile to happen in her life. She realizes it is time for her to move out of Manawaka. For the very first time in her life she gathers courage to do things she has wanted to do for so long and yet has been hesitating to do so. It had, more than a few times before, occurred to her that she should be moving out of this small place called Manawaka. She feels stuck with what she has been doing, but is hesitant to make a move. The events that occur in her life that summer helps her realize that it is time for her to stop blaming her fate and move on in life. Also, for the very first time in her life, Rachel speaks to her mother without apologizing to her. She is able to convince her mother to move out of Manawaka, something that seemed so impossible to her just a few days before. Rachel realizes that if not now, she would never be able to take a step like this in future. For the first time, she is able to do something in her own interest. While moving out of Manawaka, Rachel for the first time throughout the novel speaks what is actually in her mind and not what she thinks is expected of her. When Willard asks her the reason for moving out, she does not make up excuses by saying things like she is intending to move closer to her sister. She is at last able to speak to Calla frankly. She also apologizes to her for the right reason. She is able to accept the fact that she was not able to be there for Calla the way she should have been. The most important aspect of Rachel moving out of Manawaka is that it gave her something that she lacked all her life at Manawaka and that was accepting herself as she was. As Rachel and her mother begin their journey, Rachel is able to put behind all that has happened at Manawaka and starts analyzing the possibilities in store for her in the future. She thinks that she may or may not meet somebody in the new place, she may be lonely even then, and she may or may not change. Whatever is in store for her, she is ready to accept it. As she makes her journey, she realizes that no matter where she is, she still would have all those limitations she has had all these years. Read More