Benefits of Cohabitation - Essay Example

? Benefits of Cohabitation Living together before marriage is a controversial topic. There are groups expressing their strong support in the traditional religious practice of marriage, which stresses that the two partners should live together only after making the matrimonial vows. On the contrary, young people from contemporary generation have believed in an arrangement promoting a trial marriage by living together to test the conditions and determine compatibility issues. Pre-marital arrangements have drastically changed since the last generation. By living together, couples satisfy their personal beliefs and companionship without sacrificing an acknowledged vow that legally binds them through marriage. Couples opt to decide on living together before getting married for diverse reasons including compatibility, fear of the consequences of divorce and economic considerations. Young couples believe that living together before marriage is part of choosing as to how they will go on about their life. It may be seen as a test period, but consequentially this set-up allows the couple to realize whether they want to live their life with each other. For young couples, this set-up is part of expressing themselves. On the other hand, those couples who spent time living together run the risk of falling out of love eventually. Couples eventually develop psychological problems that lead to depression and anxiety due to the possibility that they are really not meant to be together in the long term. Living together before marriage shows that there may be a fear of commitment. The institution of marriage legally binds the couple. This can be viewed as fully committing oneself to the other. Cohabitation without the institution of marriage can be perceived as lack of solid foundation and structure to build a family and future together. Without the institution of marriage, the partnership may seem to lack commitment. Despite the arguments, living together before marriage has more benefits in the long run. The consequences of divorce, which can take a financial, emotional and psychological toll on both partners, are minimized because there are no legal binds. Both partners understand that living together is a test to determine whether they can allow themselves to be bound by legal laws. They understand that they want and need to determine if they are right for each other, if they can accept each other’s quirks and habits, and of course, if they can see themselves still being together after the honeymoon stage. As stated by Monika Johnson, “a wedding will not change your relationship. If you and your partner have difficulties living together, a marriage license will not improve things. In such a case, it may be better to end the relationship, rather than to enter into a marriage that is troubled from the start” (Johnson). What Johnson tries to point out is that marriage is not a solution for a troubled relationship. It is not a way to resolve differences and issues. Marriage should be commitment not a solution. Although the majority of people, those who believe in the traditional religious beliefs, believe that living together is in fact going against the norm by asserting that “cohabitors are partially rejecting the society's dominant value system. Those people who enter cohabitational relationships tend to perceive social rules in flexible terms” (Cohabitation). Because the dominant value system is strongly associated with traditional religious beliefs, the bulk of which are Christians, cohabitation without the institution of marriage poses great threat to the stability of traditional values. Couples entering into the arrangement of cohabitation without marriage can be seen as people challenging, or even rejecting, the norms, which places great pressure and stigma on the relationship. This may put a strain on the relationship. This may pose a question on the stability of the relationship. But a glimpse on the research on contemporary generation has proven that “young couples are most accepting of cohabitation, and it is likely that it will become increasingly popular over time” (Barlow). This indicates that the trend in acceptance of cohabitation before marriage is increasing. This puts lesser social pressure and stigma on the couples opting to live together before marriage. Living together before marriage gives more benefits as long as the couples are physically, emotionally and economically mature to acknowledge the responsibilities and accountabilities within the relationship. As declared by spouses Sheri and Bob Stritof , “whether or not cohabitation is a good choice depends on where you live, if you have premarital education, and if you marry the first and only person you live with” (Stritof). There are conditions and factors that need to be established and considered by couples before any long term relationship. Living together before marriage gives couples the advantage of eliminating the complexity of divorce by being able to establish with themselves whether or not they want to continue with the relationship. By living together first, they are able to test their relationship and decide whether they want to live with their partner for the rest of their life. This eliminates the rigors of divorce as they will not undergo legal conditions to get out of the relationship. The arguments of people who support marriage and refute any benefits of cohabitation say that the risk of separation and divorce is higher for couples who opted to cohabitate. The news article written and reported by Sherryl Connelly clearly proved that, “living together before marriage doesn't necessarily increase the risk of divorce, but those who get engaged or married before cohabiting have a slight edge, according to a just-released national study” (Connelly). The agreement itself does not cause an increase in supposed divorce any time in the near future. There are critical factors that are similarly common in couples who did not live together but opted to get married, and still somehow separated and got divorced. These factors include immaturity in various aspects and the inability of couples to appropriately address challenges and problems that eventually come their way. Legal aspects can be considered as a strengthening factor that marriage brings. Since laws are involved, the couple can divide responsibilities, properties and expenses. The terms of the legal make the agreement more secure for both parties. This refutation is addressed by promoters of living together by indicating that the legal perspective of cohabitation could recommend “a written cohabitation agreement, similar to a Premarital Agreement (which) outline(s) how the couple will divide expenses and own property, whether they will maintain joint or separate bank accounts, and how their assets will be distributed if one partner dies or leaves the relationship” (Cohabitation). This agreement may be seen in similarity to legal marriage term, but the difference is that there is no legal bind between the partners. Also, the terms do not change living situations and there are lesser chances that there will be a scenario similar to ugly divorces as they have not been married. The agreement only focuses on the financial side of a relationship. This is not to be required, however, as the partners may maintain their own finances separately as they are not required by law to combine their financial obligations and expenses. Living together before marriage is a controversial topic. I strongly believe that couples should live together before marriage to understand whether they are willing to be bound to their partners without fear of divorce. By entering the agreement with a mature frame of mind, couples who opt to live together before marriage gets the benefit of understanding themselves, their partners and a life with each other. This prevents them to make the mistakes of the divorcees to be married prior to really considering and understanding the long-term situation. Works Cited Barlow, Anne, Duncan, Simon, James, Grace and Park, Alison. Family Affairs: Cohabitation, Marriage and the Law.N.d. Web. 03 April 2011. Cohabitation – Trends and Patterns. 2011. Web. 03 April 2011. < http://family.jrank.org/pages/274/Cohabitation-Trends-Patterns.html> Connelly, Sherryl. Living together before marriage doesn't significantly raise likelihood of divorce: study. 03 March 2010. Web. 03 April 2011. < http://articles.nydailynews.com/2010-03-03/entertainment/27057883_1_cohabiting-couples-marriage> Johnson, Monika. The benefits of living together before marriage. 29 March 2011. Web. 03 April 2011. < http://www.helium.com/items/2125940-the-benefits-of-living-together-before-marriage> Stritof, Sheri and Stritof, Bob. Living Together: Is Cohabitation a Good Choice? 2011. Web. 03 April 2011. < http://marriage.about.com/cs/cohabitation/a/livingtogether Read More