The Contemporary World - Essay Example

?Introduction Parenting in the contemporary world proves to be both a challenging and interesting experience. Today’s world is more dynamic and liberal which forces parents to adjust to these realities in order to ensure a resourceful and successful parenting. Modern parenting issues rose in the 1970s mostly in the western world where many countries had already recovered from World War II and were recording improved economic growth and social developments. However, contemporary parenting has had a share of its challenges for example multiculturalism, professional job demands, single parenting and poverty among others. The nature of today’s parenting has seen the rise in sales of parenting books and increased television parenting programmes. There is also a notable increase in the rate of divorce, single parenthood and dropping out from parenting classes. In light of the above this paper will delve on influences on parenting within contemporary society while shedding light on various theories among them Bandura Social Learning Theory. Characteristics and Challenges of Parenting in the Contemporary World (Post 1970s) Post 1970s is a period that saw protectionist approaches to parenting take root. These were and are characterized by parents (and the societal norms) insisting on children to wear helmets when riding bicycles and use of car seats among others. Parenting has taken a structured shape with both mothers and fathers taking up long-hours jobs. It is also important to note that birth rate has dropped where some parents have only one child or two at most. The concern for modern parents is for their children to attain a competitive edge (Hamner & Turner 2001). This trend has led to hyper-parenting where parents are attempting to make their children grasp all that life can offer e.g. sports, piano lessons, dancing, mentoring and home tuition among others. A society’s norms are attributed to the challenges faced by parents when some of these norms facilitate good parenting while others hinder it. One of the problems is poverty where parents are not able to provide sufficient basic needs like food, shelter, education and good health care among others. Due to disparities posed by social classes and economic wellbeing some parents find it difficult to offer the bare minimum. Parents and their children in this regard engage in social ills like crime and prostitution in order to bridge the gap. The current society comprises of people who profess different faiths and uphold different morals and cultures. People from different faiths and cultures are intermarrying bringing the challenge of understanding and tolerance. Neighbourhoods are also comprised of people from different nationalities, social and religious backgrounds, race and ethnicity. In these scenarios parenting proves to be a challenge when trying to make children understand and appreciate other people. Single parenting is on the rise where either a mother or a father feeds for their children alone. This is a state of imbalance which is tricky to operate in without the other partner as one works towards being both the father and mother at the same time. Single parenting is highly attributed to the rising cases of divorce and unwanted and teenage pregnancies. The society more than ever before is liberal in respect to sexuality which is leading to many young people engaging in unsafe sexual practices (Ashworth & Sanders 2007). Divorce is now being taken as a normal occurrence in a marriage; something which was considered almost a taboo one and a half centuries ago. Mental Health and Parenting For a parent to be responsible enough to take care of their children, they need to take care of their mental health first. Poor parental mental health results in poor child upbringing. Mental health issues in parents render them unable to offer children the developmental needs required in relation to their social and emotional lives. Research has shown that parents exhibiting mental problems often bring up children with the same or other forms of mental problems. Poverty has been identified as a leading cause of mental illnesses for parents as stated by Cohen (2002). Other factors that are equally culpable include insufficient education, social disadvantages, teenage pregnancy, isolation, economic status, domestic abuse and non-resident fathers among others. Insufficient education subjects parents to poor pay which is not able to cater for a decent family life. Teenage pregnancies often leave the young parent with little hope of giving their babies good food, clothing, heath care, education and shelter. Many parents who undergo domestic abuse tolerate it for the sake of their children. When fathers rarely offer their support to mothers due to long working schedules away from home, mothers are left to cater for all aspects of childrearing. All the above factors result in stress which in turn results in mental problems like depression and heightened anxiety levels. Parenting Models, Programmes and Family Links Nurturing Group Programme It is also true that families’ way of parenting differs based on the fact that what some consider as right is wrong to others or simply unnecessary. This brings out the issue that models of parenting are not definitive. Parents nowadays as stated earlier have many responsibilities apart from caring for their children. This has left parents with little time to interact with their children which has created some disconnect between the two parties. To solve the parenting difficulties of the contemporary society are parenting programmes that are being offered by various organizations. These programmes enhance parenting by instilling into members the necessary values that a parent should have for example, kindness, compassion, love and others in order to maintain a healthy relationship within the family and to bring out the best in children. An example of these programmes is the Family Links Nurturing Group Programme which serves in the UK. This programme acts as a parenting facilitator and helps parents with their parenting. FLNP in the parenting category offers parents the knowledge on how to align their expectations, have self awareness, importance of self esteem, be empathetic and approach discipline in a positive manner. Parents attending this programme receive regular sessions that are normally two hours each for at least ten weeks. Many parents who attend these sessions indicate that they wish to be good parents, be able to deal with the modern day child and their behaviours and to have an opportunity to share ideas and experiences with fellow parents. Many leave the programme stating that the experience was worthwhile while using adjectives like good, excellent and brilliant to describe it (PENS 2007). However, there are three distinct ways in which parents benefit from Family Links Nurturing Group Programme; they receive support from fellow parents, they gain control of parenthood and ability to empathize and connect more with the children. It is comforting for parents to meet fellow parents who are likeminded because this helps them to open up and trust one another. Parents are also able to bond creating strong support groups which at times go on even after the programme has ended. Parents who have attended the groups have appreciated that the course leaders do not intend to teach them on how to be parents but on how to execute their roles as parents. They have also appreciated the fact that their current parenting ways are not scrutinized for criticism or prescription purposes. A section of parents have also expresses gratitude that their feelings of guilt have reduced and that they are more aware that when children go astray, it is not always their fault since other societal factors can be the cause. Many parents have also expressed relief in that they have been able to self-nurture before going out there to nurture their children. Ability to manage their children has also been cited as a benefit whereby they are able to handle those situations that relate to children better or those that happen in the lives of their children. The programme also offers a sense of deeper insight on reasons for certain behaviour whereby parents are urged to consider why their children behave the way they do and not in another. Feeling of empathy opens up shut doors so that parents are able to have a more interactive relationship with their children (Hunt 2003). Parents are also able to calm down and think things through instead of confronting children for misbehaviour while hailing insults or threats. Parents have however expressed discontent with the short time allocated per session and the duration that the programme takes. The reason for this is that there is still a great deal to learn but some solve this by continuing with parent programmes even after the FLN programme has ended as mentioned earlier. For many parents it is as much an enjoyable experience as it is educational. There are also complaints that the materials provided are too many to be tackled within the short time offered. Many parents are within the working class bracket while others are in private businesses which leave them little time to go through all the materials. Groups comprise of around twelve parents which makes it hard for each to express themselves fully in terms of explaining their experiences and seeking clarifications. As explained by Mountford and Hunt (2004), some people have also raised issues that group leaders in FLN programme seem to have pretty defined views in regards to ways of raising children and they believe such an approach creates subjectivity in teaching. I support these parents by adding that the generalization that these parenting classes are a good idea is incorrect. Some parental problems require deeper understanding of underlying issues within a particular family. As much as time is allocated for each person, the problem is not solved at an individual level. Some cases require therapy and others direct interventions. There is also evidence that just as many parents go through the programme so do others find it unnecessary. They claim that the programme fails to offer required support thereby opting out. It is also important to note that despite the shortcomings of Family Links Nurturing Group Programme highlighted by parents, it offers a better overview of how one can become a better modern parent. This programme has been running for decades owing to its success in transforming and enhancing parent-child interactions. The programme also brings about the aspect of fathering and mothering which assists in defining some distinctive roles that each parent of either gender should contribute towards their child’s development. This concept emphasizes that fathers usually like to make their children more independent at an earlier age than mothers according to Thevenin (1993). Mothers on the other hand tend to fight for intimacy with their children. Parenting Styles Different people parent their children differently but according to Diana Baumrind’s social learning theory there are three major styles of parenting; authoritative, authoritarian and permissive. Authoritative parenting involves parents directing what their children are to do but in a rational manner. Parents in this approach try to explain the reasons behind taking certain decisions that may seem oppressive. Parents here are good in appreciating that their children also have interests but they also set standards for which to align behaviour with. Authoritarian parenting seeks to assert a high level of control over the children. Parents usually set strict standards to align behaviour with and in case of failure to follow them punishment is usually inflicted. Many parents in this category prefer punitive measures to instil good behaviour. Permissive parenting on the other hand is more compassionate and respects children’s views on issues related to their welfare (Ashworth & Sanders 2007). As such they normally consult their children and explain why certain decisions or points of view are better. These parents aim is to make children exercise autonomy by reducing direct control over their affairs as much as possible. In cases where they wish to manipulate children’s behaviour, permissive parents use very hidden or overt means to do so. Conclusion Parents have engaged or joined support groups and other programmes that enlighten them on various aspects of contemporary parenting. These groups enlighten them on how different their parenting should be as compared to that which they were brought up with. As times change parents are becoming increasingly entangled in busy working schedules. The short time spent with their children creates some level of insecurity and guilt in them. The need to seek information and guidance on how to be a better parent for the modern child has forced many to seek audience from many quarters including parent programmes. These programmes have assisted many in achieving their desires as portrayed by feedback from parents who attend them for example the Family Links Nurturing Group Programme. References Ashworth, A & Sanders, M 2007, The madness of modern parenting, Hodder General Publishing Division. Cohen, LJ 2002, Playful parenting, Random House Publishing Group. Hamner, TJ & Turner, PH 2001, Parenting in contemporary society, 4th edn, Allyn and Bacon. Hunt, C 2003, The parenting puzzle: How to get the best out of family life, 1st edn, Family Links Development Resources Inc, Oxford. Mountford, A and Hunt, C 2004, The nurturing programme handbook for parent group leaders, Interim revised edn, Family Links Development Resources Inc. PENS 2007, An evaluation of the family links nurturing programme, Parenting Education And Nurturing Support. Thevenin, T 1993, Mothering and fathering: The gender differences in child rearing, Avery Publishing Group. Read More