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I only answered the things I was asked and did only what I was told to do. That was to be my life throughout my stay in this God-forbidden place for an indefinite period.
I always remembered my father’s words before we left home some years back: “Don’t let her know you are scared.” I was, therefore, determined to show strength as much as I could, in lack and abundance, in peace and war, in the house and out in the field. Wherever place I was to be found: no one was to find out that I was scared to be there. I knew it too well that acting soft and easy going would work against me: I would be killed any time. I had seen so many people die under my watch, and I knew that the threat was not just hearsay. The prison wardens and commandants were so inhuman and acted as beasts towards their fellow human beings. I kept wondering the kind of training they had gone that had exchanged their human hearts with a beastly one. Otherwise, how would a normal human being be so rotten and unsympathetic?
The life I lived in the camps trained not to let any opportunity go by: whether it was an opportunity to eat, revenge or even to escape from the prison altogether. Every chance had to be utilized to the best of our abilities because one we were not sure when we would be lucky again. One of the chances that I was given was to look after the horses belonging to the German officers (Zail, 2014). As it was expected, I jumped into the opportunity. I had some experience with horses; on the other hand I would not allow the officers to know that I was scared about being in the camp all this while.
I was a bit skeptical about my success in tending to the horses; however, I knew some things about what to do when, how and with whom for the horses. I had been working with horses on my father’s farm before. I shed tears every time I saw the comfort and care that the horses were given compared to the places
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